


To Build A Home

by lechaton17



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: AU, Abuse, Aged up characters, Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Death, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Family, Feels, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Loss, Mentions of crime, Multi, Protective Keith (Voltron), Roommates, SHEITH - Freeform, Sad, Sad Ending, Slow Burn, Supportive Shiro (Voltron), Violence, follows the whole school year, relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-04
Updated: 2018-10-31
Packaged: 2019-07-25 01:47:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 25
Words: 86,587
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16187549
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lechaton17/pseuds/lechaton17
Summary: College AUTakashi Shirogane had finally made it to his senior year of college. He's ready to finish up his degree and begin his life.What he isn't ready for, is the dark haired, friendless boy he meets in the library.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello friends,
> 
> I just can't stop writing xD 
> 
> Im honestly quite nervous and excited to be writing my first real AU! This with be a Sheith College AU, where Shiro meets Keith in the campus library, and before he knows it, finds himself falling in love. 
> 
> As always, I never plan for how long the story will be; I just kind of go with it with some ideas of what I want to happen. But there will be darker themes in later chapters; Ill be sure to update tags as I go. 
> 
> Some characters ages are changed a bit to fit the story a little better, such as Pidge being the same age as Hunk and Lance. Their ages aren't super important to the story line, as they are all college students, but just keep that in mind :) 
> 
> Besides Sheith there will be Allurance (my other favorite ship aha) so if either of those ships bother you, you might want to stay clear of the story. 
> 
> Anyway, thank you as always for reading. Look forward to hearing from you!

The alarm clock blared, waking Shiro up from a deep sleep. He groaned and reached for his phone without opening his eyes, too tired to open them. Eventually his hand found the phone and he turned the terrible beeping off. He wanted nothing more than to roll over and go back to sleep, but he knew he couldn’t. It was his senior year of college, after all. There was no use blowing off his responsibilities now when he was almost done.

 

Shiro forced his eyes open and looked at his phone. He was lazily scrolling through his notifications when he realized that he was supposed to be at work. In fifteen minutes.

 

“Shit!” he yelled out loud, jumping out of bed. He hurriedly grabbed the cleanest clothes he could find and ran toward the bathroom, nearly tripping over his roommate’s shoes in the hallway. “Hunk!” he cried desperately, banging on the bathroom door. “Come on, I’m running really late!”

 

“I’ll be out a minute!” Hunk replied, and Shiro groaned and ran to the kitchen.

 

“About time you woke up,” his other roommate, Pidge, said from the couch, where she sat with her laptop.

 

“You could have woken me up!” Shiro told her exasperatedly, pouring some coffee into a traveling mug.

 

“I did try, you ignored me,” she replied, not looking away from her computer.

 

Shiro jumped and cursed as he spilled hot coffee on his hand, causing Pidge to smirk. “It’s not funny!” he told her, running his hand under water in the sink. “I have to be at the library in like ten minutes, and Hunk-“

 

“I’m out, I’m out,” Hunk yawned. “Morning, by the way.”

 

Shiro ran past him, hurriedly throwing his clothes on and making himself as presentable as possible. His clothes were wrinkled and his hair was sticking up, but it would have to do. He mentally cursed himself for not making sure to get up sooner as he ran around to find socks and shoes, all while trying to remember where he left his backpack. Pidge and Hunk just watched him, slightly amused looks on their faces, not even attempting to help. By the time Shiro finally found everything, he had about five minutes to make a ten minute drive to campus.

 

“Thanks for your help,” he said, giving his friends a scowl as he grabbed his coffee and ran out the door, both Pidge and Hunk waving to him. The sun hit him as soon as he stepped outside, the September air still warm. He threw his bag into his car and climbed in, hoping there weren’t any police on the streets today.

 

As it was his senior year, Shiro had lived in this little Pennsylvania town for three years already. It was small, and boring as could be, but at the same time, he loved it. Having grown up in the overcrowded streets of LA, Shiro had been almost relieved to find the serenity of small town life, even at his young age. He was definitely grateful for the light traffic it offered, allowing him to only have to speed a tiny bit in order to reach his campus library, right at 10:04, only four minutes late.

 

The library was one of the biggest buildings on campus, and it was busy almost all hours of the day. It was one of his favorite places on campus. Shiro had always had a fondness for books, ever since he was a child. His father had always wanted him to be in sports, but having been sick a lot when he was a kid, sports weren’t always something he could physically do. However, he always had books. His mother brought him new books all the time, and through reading, he’d been able to live thousands of different lives. Nothing was able to hold him back when he was reading; he could be an athlete, or a detective, or an astronaut, and no one could tell him he wasn’t strong enough.

 

That’s why he’d been more than happy to actually land a job at his campus library. He had spent hours of his life there the past three years, and he had gotten to know a lot of the workers just by being there frequently. He wrote a lot of research papers, being a Sociology major. However, as much as they liked him, they did seem to frown upon tardiness, as any job did, so Shiro made sure to come in with his apology ready. However as soon as he faced his supervisor, a woman named Mrs. Ruth, and she fixed him with a glare as she looked him up and down, Shiro realized apologizing wasn’t going to do him much good.

 

“I won’t be late again, I promise,” he told her, wishing he had tried to at least look a bit more put together. He’d only been working there for a couple of weeks, and he was still trying to make a good impression.

 

“You better not,” was all she said, and he took that as his dismissal.

 

“You made it,” one of the other student workers, Romelle said with a grin when she saw Shiro walking towards the front desk.

 

“Barely,” he replied, trying to shake his guilt. There was no use feeling guilty when it was already done and over. He’d just have to work really hard and make sure to never be late again. “I woke up like twenty minutes ago.”

 

“I can tell,” she said with a snort. “What, did you get trashed last night or something?”

 

“No,” Shiro said at once. He’d never been the partying type, as much as his best friend, Lance, was. Lance was always dragging Shiro to parties within, and Shiro usually ended up being the designated driver. “I was just up late working on an assignment. I set my alarm, but I set it for the wrong time. I forgot I had to work today.”

 

She rolled her eyes. “You’re such a goodie-goodie, Takashi,” she sighed.

 

“I’m-I’m not,” Shiro replied defiantly. Romelle was one of the only people who called him by his first name. They had taken several classes together the past couple years, and she’d always be asking him for help on assignments, saying _pleeeasseeee Takashi_  and knowing he'd never say no. “I’m just trying not to blow my education is all.”

 

“Yeah, all right,” she said with a grin. She pulled out a cart. “Here you go, Takashi. These are all for you to put away.”

 

He sighed and took the cart without arguing. He let himself get lost in his work, enjoying the simple task of putting the books away. Someone would stop and ask him where to find a book every now and then, but since the year had just started, people weren’t stressing too much to get assignments completed. So far, he actually was quite enjoying the library work, though it was mostly just busy work that no one else wanted to do. It was rather relaxing, and usually quiet. It also gave Shiro a lot of time to people watch.

 

As someone who was studying human society, Shiro could easily amuse himself by just watching people, and seeing the way people interact with one another. Though he was pretty well liked among his classmates, he didn’t necessarily have a lot of friends. He was a bit quiet, and found it hard to open up to people. So, people didn’t always talk to him. But it gave him an excuse to watch others. He wasn’t sure why he was so fascinated by studying people. But it was just interesting to see how differently people acted with one another, and acted in their environments. He’d even done it when he was a kid; if he had to sit out his recess time because of his health, he’d just sit there and watch the other kids play, fascinated by the different cliques and the politics of the playground.

 

Shiro was just finishing with his cart of books, when he noticed one particular person that he’d been watching a lot the past couple weeks. He wasn’t sure of his name. But there was boy, probably a freshman or sophomore by the looks of him, who sat at the same table, every day, for hours. No one ever came to sit with him. Shiro never saw him pull out his phone or computer or anything. He’d just sit there, with a book, and read silently. Every day.

 

The boy had dark hair, that was long enough to tie into a small ponytail, and dark eyes. His clothes were a bit outdated, and he always looked a bit messy, like he just really didn’t care about his appearance. He almost always more the same black hoodie. What always caught Shiro’s eye was a long scar on the boy’s cheek. Shiro was always wondering where it came from. And he couldn’t help but notice how lonely the boy looked. He couldn’t help but sympathize with him. Shiro knew what it meant to be lonely.

 

“You’re staring at him again,” Romelle whispered into Shiro’s ear, making him jump.

 

“Ro-Romelle,” Spiro stuttered, blushing. “I wasnt- I don’t-“

 

“I don’t know why you have a thing for that emo boy,” she said, looking at the dark haired boy with a pinched expression.

 

“I don’t- I don’t have a thing for him-“

 

“Suuuure,” she laughed. “Whatever, maybe he’s your type. Dark and mysterious, right? I hear he’s a bad boy or something. I swear some girl was saying that he’d been in jail or something.”

 

“Shut up,” Shiro said, shaking his head. “I just…I don’t know, I just wonder why he’s always alone.”

 

“Why don’t you go ask him?” Romelle suggested with a devious smile.

 

“What? No, I-“

 

And then she pushed Shiro, making him stumble like an idiot towards the table the boy sat at. The boy’s dark eyes shifted from his book for a second, locking in on Shiro, before looking back at his book.

 

Shiro cleared his throat awkwardly. He looked back at Romelle, who was giggling. Feeling like he might as well give it a try, Shiro walked up to the table and looked at the book the boy was reading.

 

“1984,” Shiro said, reading the title. “It’s one of my favorites. I always enjoy a good dystopia, but that one always stuck with me.”

 

The boy looked up at him. “Um- yeah,” he said, looking around to make sure he was the one Shiro was talking to. “It’s all right. I’m reading it for class.”

 

“What class?” Shiro asked.

 

“Uh- English 101,” the boy said awkwardly.

 

“Freshman?” Shiro asked, and the boy nodded. “That’s…cool. Um…I noticed you’ve been in the library a lot. Are you new in town?”

 

The boy raised his eyebrows. “You’ve been watching me?”

 

Shiro felt his face get warm. “Well, no, not really. I just- I work here, so…I just noticed.”

 

The boy smirked. “Yeah, I’m new in town.” he answered, looking down at his book. “I just came here for school. I’m from the area, I just always was in the city before.”

 

“Oh, cool,” Shiro said lamely. “Well, um…if you ever need help finding a book, I’m your guy. My-my name is Shiro.”

 

The boy just looked at his book.

 

“Um….your name?” Shiro asked him.

 

The boy sighed. “Keith.”

 

Keith. Keith was a nice name. “Nice to meet you, Keith.”

 

“Yep,” Keith replied, obviously wishing Shiro would leave him alone. Feeling a bit humiliated, Shiro turned and walked away, back to Romelle, who was still laughing.

 

But as the day went on, Shiro found that he couldn't stop thinking about the dark haired boy. 

 

Keith. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I found it funny that I started writing this story yesterday, and was basing the town/school off of the college that I went to once upon a time (I only lived there for a year) and then last night, my college roommate messaged me out of the blue and asked how I was doing. I hadn't talked to her in years xD 
> 
> I always get nostalgic about that year, for it was an important year in my life. I think that's part of the reason I wanted to write this story so much :')
> 
> I decided that I'm going to make this story last the entire school year. Eventually, time will move a bit quicker than it does the first couple chapters. 
> 
> If you ever have good song recommendations, let me know. This story was named after the song To Build a Home by the Cinematic Orchestra. I've loved the song for years, and it kind of fit in nicely with this story <3

Keith left the library once he couldn't ignore the growling of his stomach any more. 

He was still a little weirded out by that Shiro guy coming to talk to him. No one ever tried to talk to him, and if they did, it was usually because they were trying to play some kind of stupid joke on him. He didn't think that was the case with Shiro though; the guy had seemed like he just generally wanted to talk to him. Which was just weird for Keith. His social worker had used to tell him that he came across as cold and unwelcoming. He didn't try to be that way. It was just sort of natural for him by this point in his life. And most of the time, it meant people left him alone. And he was okay with that.

Keith went out to his car, ignoring looks he got as he got in. His car was old and on the verge of falling apart. He had saved up his own money to buy it, so even if it was a piece of shit, it was _his_ piece of shit. It had taken him nearly two years to save up enough money to buy it, and it was one of the only things he was somewhat proud of. It was an old Ford car from the 90's, the paint peeling and duct tape on the back bumper, but at least it worked. 

He drove to the nearest fast food drive thru and ordered a burger and fries, sitting and eating them in the parking lot. He had a class in about an hour, and he had to work tonight. College had been a huge adjustment for Keith. He hadn't even been to school in over a year. The only reason he'd gotten into the college was because he was able to get his GED, and somehow had been able to score very high on his state and college testing.  School had always come quite easy for Keith. Things like math and reading just came easy to him. It made sense. Everything else in his life was what had been difficult. 

He had been raised by his father. The first few years of his life had been good. Not perfect, but good. They had lived quite poorly, but he didn't even really notice it as a kid. His father always worked hard to make Keith happy, and he had been. His mother had left when Keith was a baby, and he had never met her or even gotten a letter. His father never mentioned her, either. But Keith never really cared. The only time it had really bothered him is when he saw other kids with their mothers- and he'd feel the pang like something was missing. 

But his father had always been there, with enough love for two parents. That was, until he father was killed in a fire. 

It had been hard enough for Keith to realize that his father, his hero, was dead and not coming back. But then he had to deal with social services, and foster parents. He'd been taken out of the only home he had ever known. He'd been so hurt, and so angry, that he was forced to live with strangers who weren't loving at all- that he began to act out. He wouldn't listen to his fosters parents. He'd run away. He'd steal food from stores. 

He became a 'problem child.' As the years went on, things escalated. He moved from home to home. Stealing candy turned into stealing whatever he wanted. He got into fights. He gained enemies. By the time he was seventeen, he was locked up in juvie. 

He did his best to keep his head down. Most of his charges weren't even bad-basically just violations of probation from petty stuff he'd done. He worked on getting his credits and received his GED while he was still in juvie. There were a few kids in there who hated him a lot, and were always trying to egg him on and get him to fight. They'd known each other from the neighborhood they'd grown up in, and had gotten into fights before. But Keith didn't let them get to him. He was trying to do good, because there was finally a light at the end of the tunnel. 

Because he would be eighteen soon, and he would be free. 

When he was finally released, Keith went back to a group home until he turned eighteen. He took the tests needed to get into college, any college, continued to save up his money, and when his eighteenth birthday came around, he left the group home, bought his car, and with his college acceptance letter in hand, vowed that this was going to be a new beginning for him. 

However, his new beginning wasn't that great. 

He'd gotten a job working nights at a 24 hour diner in town where the college was. He'd gotten enough financial aid to cover his tuition and books. He even bought himself a phone, though he didnt use it. And his home- well, that was his car. For now. He was putting money aside to save up for an apartment, even a small one. But he needed money first. He had tried staying with an acquaintance of his, and old 'friend' from one of the group homes he'd stayed in. However, after a few months, Keith found out that the guy had been stealing his money, mostly to support his drug habit. So Keith had left. And unfortunately, he didn't have anyone who he could stay with. 

Because he didn't have anyone. 

But it was okay. He was okay. He was making due with what he had, even if it sucked. He had fucked up for most of his life, but he would do good now. He wasn't even sure what he was doing in college; he was still undecided on his major. He just felt it was the right thing to do. And the college had a lot of places for him to hang out, so he barely noticed that he didn't have a home to go home to. 

As Keith sat there, eating his dollar menu burger, he realized he should have been nicer to that Shiro guy. It wasn't every day that people even pretended to care what his name was. If he saw him again, he'd try to be nicer. This was his new start, after all. Maybe it would be nice to have a friend. 

* * *

 "Let's go out."

"No."

"I'm bored, Shiro."

"Ask Hunk or Pidge."

Lance rolled onto his back. "Pidge never goes out, you know that. And Hunk already said no because he has an early class."

"Then why don't you just have a drink here?" Shiro sighed tiredly, trying to take notes from his textbook, but Lance rolling around at the foot of his bed was distracting. 

"I don't want to be the only drunk one," Lance huffed. "Why don't we watch a movie."

"Why don't you go hang out with Allura?"

"Ouch, Shiro. This is supposed to be our time, remember? Best bro time? Allura's out with her friends at that poetry thing."

Shiro sighed and threw his book to the side, getting no where. "Why don't we just go get some food. All your complaining is making me hungry."

Lance brightened at once. "I'm down. Veronica is working tonight, she can give us a discount."

Shiro chuckled. "I thought she said last time she wasn't allowed."

"Yeah, well, maybe this time," Lance shrugged. They left Shiro's room, stopping by to ask Pidge and Hunk if they wanted to come. They both agreed, and so the four of them loaded into Shiro's car and made the short trip to the town's only 24 hour sit down restaurant, a diner called Sara's. Lance's sister, Veronica, was a server there, so Shiro and Lance often stopped by when she was working, mostly so Lance could bug her. But the food was also pretty good. 

Shiro had met Lance his first year of school; they had been roommates. At first they had hated each other; Shiro was too boring for Lance, and Lance was too annoying for Shiro. But somewhere along the way, they had grown on one another. They sort of balanced each other out; Shiro was able to pull Lance in when he needed it, and Lance forced Shiro to come out of his shell a bit. They had met Pidge and Hunk the same year; Hunk had lived in the same dorm building as them, and Pidge had shared classes with Lance and Shiro, and somehow, they all ended up friends. Lance had lived in the house that Shiro, Pidge, and Hunk shared, until last year, when he moved in with his girlfriend, Allura. 

"Look at us, all hanging out at Sara's like old times," Lance said fondly as they got a booth together. 

"We do this like once a week," Pidge said. 

"Yeah, but, we don't live together anymore, so it's more special," Lance replied, and Hunk laughed. 

"Of course it's you guys," Veronica said with a smile as she came up to their table. "You all getting the same thing you always get?"

"Yep," they all replied, and Lance added, "but with a discount."

She rolled her eyes and walked away. 

"Sometimes I wonder how you two are related," Pidge said with a sigh. 

"I know, I feel bad for her," Shiro joked, getting an elbow from Lance. 

"Was your boss super mad at you for being late?" Hunk asked Shiro. 

"No, not really," Shiro said, feeling  guilty again. "I just can't be late again."

"You were late?" Lance laughed. "For the library job? Didn't you just start?"

"I was up late," Shiro said defensively, as Veronica came back with their sodas-iced tea for Pidge- and handed them to each of them. 

"I tried to wake him up, but he was out like a baby," Pidge said, stirring her drink. 

"It's not like you can talk, Lance," Shiro said, throwing his straw wrapper at Pidge. "Who almost failed out freshman year because he couldn't wake up in time for class?"

"I learned not to sign up for morning classes," Lance said with a shrug. "I'm better now, though. Allura wakes up early, so."

Shiro zoned out a bit, his thoughts wandering. He'd be up late again tonight, thanks to their spontaneous dinner. He still had to finish the notes he had been trying to take. He didn't have to be at the library tomorrow, but he did have a 9 am class, so he still had to be up somewhat early. He pulled out his cell phone while he was thinking about it, and set his alarm, making sure it was set for the right day and time. He was just putting his phone down when he realized that _he_ was there. The kid from the library. Keith. Veronica was talking to him back near where they disappear to the kitchens. 

"Hey, I'll be right back," Shiro announced, probably interrupting his friends' conversation. He slid out of the booth just as Veronica walked back into the kitchens. Keith turned to follow her, but then he spotted Shiro coming towards him and froze. 

"Keith!" Shiro said with a smile. "Twice in one day."

"Uh- yeah," Keith said, forcing an awkward smile. 

"Do you work here?" Shiro asked. He'd never seen Keith there before. 

Keith nodded. "I mostly wash dishes and stuff, though."

"Oh, that's...fun," Shiro replied uncertainly. 

"Not really," Keith said, grinning a bit more naturally. "But it's money."

"Well, what time are you off? Me and my friends are having a late dinner, if you want to join," Shiro said, gesturing at the booth behind him. He stole a glance and realized that Lance, Hunk and Pidge were all staring at him. 

"Thanks, but I'm not off until 2," Keith said, looking uncomfortable. "And I really should get back to work."

"Oh, yeah, of course," Shiro said, hoping he wasn't as red as he felt. "Maybe next time."

They stood there in an awkward silence for a moment. "All right, then," Shiro said, hearing Lance laugh behind him. "Have a good shift."

Shiro turned away, really wishing that his friends hadn't seen that awkward encounter, when Keith called after him. 

"Hey- Shiro."

Shiro turned and looked at him. Keith looked a bit red now. "Thank you, for offering," he said. "Maybe...I'll see you at the library."

Shiro had no intention of going to the library tomorrow, but he for sure would find a reason to now. "Yeah, okay."

Keith nodded and disappeared back into the kitchen. Shiro had to walk back to the booth his friends sat at, feeling both pleased and mortified. They all grinned and clapped as he sat down. 

"Great job, Shiro," Lance said, clapping him on the back.

"You're so awkward," Pidge laughed. 

"Who was that, anyway?" Hunk asked. 

"Just- a guy I met at the library," Shiro muttered. 

"Aww, how cute," Hunk beamed. 

"It's- I just wanted to be friends with him," Shiro said defensively. "He seemed like he didn't have many-"

"Come on, Shiro," Lance said seriously. "I could tell you like him. And you haven't dated anyone since Adam."

Pidge and Hunk both gasped. Shiro felt himself go even redder. They always seemed to tread so lightly around the Adam topic, and he hated it. 

"Look there's our food," Hunk said loudly, and sure enough, Veronica was expertly balancing all of their food on a tray. She placed their plates down in front of them. Shiro wanted nothing more than to just eat his food and hope they'd forget about Keith, but of course Lance wasn't letting it go. 

"Hey, sis," he said as Veronica walked away. 

"I'm not giving you a discount."

"No, not that. What can you tell me about that dark haired kid you were talking to a few minutes ago? With the ponytail?"

Shiro looked around at her too. "Who, Keith?" she asked. "Not much, really. He's nice, but really quiet. He doesn't like to talk much. All I really know is that he's a freshman but he doesn't know what he wants to do yet. He said he's trying to save up money to get his own apartment." Her face softened. "I get the feeling he's had a hard time with things. So be nice to him, Lance."

"Who said I wasn't going to be nice?" Lance retorted, and Shiro felt a little sad. He too had a feeling that Keith had had some hard times. He could see it just in the small encounters they had. How nervous and awkward he acted. The fact that he was never seen around friends. Some kind of fear in his eyes, like he couldn't trust anybody. 

"Let's just eat our food, guys," Shiro announced in a firm voice, his way of saying he didn't want to talk about Keith anymore. His friends took the hint and didn't bring it up again. But Shiro couldn't stop thinking of him. He'd never had someone catch his attention is such a way before. It was as if he felt some kind of weird connection, some need to know this dark haired boy. 

He would go to the library tomorrow, and try to find out more about him. 

* * *

 

Shiro stopped by the library's cafe and picked up an iced coffee. He thought about it a moment, and ordered a second. His 9 am class had just gotten out. He wasn't sure of what kind of schedule Keith had, but he was hoping that he might be able to catch him in the library. He took the iced coffees from the barista, and walked through the library, hoping Romelle wasn't working- she'd never stop talking if she saw him bringing Keith a coffee. What if Keith didn't even like coffee? Shiro hadn't really thought about it. Coffee and college just seemed to go together for everyone. 

Keith was there, in the library, in his usual spot. He had his nose in _1984_ again. Shiro took a deep breath. He'd never really had a hard time talking to people, but for some reason, he became somewhat of an idiot every time he tried to talk to Keith. 

"Hey," Shiro said, approaching Keith's table. Keith looked up at him, but he managed a smile today. "Can I sit with you?"

"Sure," Keith said nervously. Shiro sat opposite of him, and slid the coffee towards him. "I don't know how you feel about iced coffee, but I got you one."

Keith stared at the cup, and then at Shiro. "You got me coffee?"

Shiro groaned. "You hate coffee, don't you?"

"N-no, I don't," Keith said, looking at the plastic cup in some weird sort of awe. "I just...."

"Just what?" Shiro asked when Keith didn't answer. "I promise I didn't poison it. The barista may have, but that's not my fault."

Keith grinned and grabbed the cup. "No one's ever bought me coffee before."

Shiro was a little surprised. "Like- a random stranger, you mean? Or just....no one in general?"

"No one," Keith said, sipping the coffee. His face lit up a little. "It's really good."

Shiro wasn't sure what he was feeling, but it tug his heart in a whole bunch of different directions. "Well, I'm happy to have bought you your first iced coffee. You'll need them to get through the school year. Especially if you are working until 2 am."

Keith grinned and took another drink. "How's the book?" Shiro asked, noticing Keith was farther in than yesterday. 

"Good," Keith replied. "It's crazy to think about living in a world where you are always watched."

"Yeah, pretty creepy," Shiro agreed. 

"Oh, shit." Keith stood up. "I have to be in class in ten minutes. I'm-I'm sorry. I'd been reading and hadn't paid attention to the time-"

"It's okay," Shiro said quickly, standing up. "Where is it? I can walk with you."

"Yeah, sure," Keith said, picking up his bag and stuffing the book inside. He grabbed his coffee cup. "It's just across from here."

They walked side by side silently until they made it outside. "What's your schedule like?" Shiro asked him as they crossed the lawn.

"I have this class until 1:30," Keith answered. "And then a math class at 4."

"Do you work tonight?" Shiro asked. 

"No," Keith said, sounding nervous. 

"Do you want to...hang out?" Shiro asked lamely. 

Keith stopped. He looked like he was going to say no. He looked like he was having some kind of internal struggle- trying to find a way to let Shiro down easy?

"Okay," he finally blurted out. "Want- want to meet back here, at 6ish?"

Shiro grinned broadly. "I'd like that."

 


	3. Chapter 3

Keith waited outside the library, feeling nervous. The sun was starting to set on campus, and most of the classes had ended for the day, so the campus was getting quieter. Mostly people were heading to dinner, or back to their dorms. Keith watched them go, leaning against some weird art sculpture that was outside the library. Why had he agreed to this? He wasn't exactly used to "hanging out" with people. What would Shiro even want to do? Get more coffee, perhaps? Though it was getting late in the day for caffeine. Keith hated how socially awkward he was. 

He was just about to give up and go hang out inside the library for a while when Shiro ran up to him, panting. "Sorry!" Shiro gasped, leaning against the sculpture as he gasped for breath. "I was-running a bit late." 

"It's fine," Keith replied, realizing that he felt a bit relieved that Shiro had shown up. He was beginning to think that Shiro has asked to meet up, just to ditch him. He hadn't wanted to believe Shiro was like that, but Keith also wasn't the most trusting person. 

"My- roommates," Shiro explained as he calmed his breathing. "They can be difficult at times. Anyway." He straightened up, looking a bit flustered. "Are you hungry? I've been in the mood for some nachos, strangely."

"Where do you get nachos at?" Keith asked. 

Shiro grinned. "I forgot, you're still pretty new here," Shiro said, and started walking. Keith quickly straightened up and followed him. "There are two dining halls, one here by the library-" He pointed it out. "And the one in the Rose dorm building. Do you live on campus?"

"Ah- no," Keith said nervously. "I-I drive here."

"Gotcha," Shiro said. "There's also a couple smaller places to eat. The one I'm talking about is in the student services building, where they hold movies and whatnot. They close soon, though. I think at seven."

"Okay," Keith said, mentally trying to count how much money on him. He felt like he should treat Shiro to food, since he bought him coffee earlier. That's what friends do, right? But Keith wasn't sure if he even had enough money. 

"How were your classes?" Shiro asked as the headed towards the student services building. 

"Fine," Keith said with a shrug. "Just english and math, so they were pretty easy."

"What's your major again?" 

"Haven't decided," Keith said, feeling embarrassed. He hated that he was supposed to know what he wanted to do with the rest of his life, when he wasn't even sure what his life _was_ at the moment. 

"Oh, I see. I'm doing sociology," Shiro explained as he held the door open for Keith. "I graduate in the spring, thank goodness. I'm tired of writing research papers."

Keith followed him as they made their way into a small dining area. They both ordered nachos and sodas; Keith decided he could pay for it, even though Shiro argued with him and insisted he pay for his own food. Keith won in the end, and he realized that it felt kind of nice to buy something for someone else. He hadn't had anyone to buy anything for before. 

"I'll get you next time," Shiro said as they sat at a small table together. He shoved a chip in his mouth, looking happy. Keith couldn't help but grin at how easily pleased Shiro was by some cheese and tortilla chips. 

"So, do you have any ideas of what you'll major in?" Shiro asked, taking a drink from his soda. 

Keith shrugged. "I...I think I want to do something where I help people."

"Hm." Shiro thought about it. "That's pretty broad. Help people, like in medicine?"

Keith shook his head. He wasn't fond of hospitals or doctors. "Maybe like a teacher?" Shiro suggested. 

Keith snorted. "I'd be a terrible teacher."

Shiro grinned. "What about a police officer, then?"

Keith thought about it. He'd spent so much time on the other side of the justice system; he'd never really thought about working in it. "Maybe," Keith said, surprising himself. "I don't know if I can though."

"That would be pretty badass," Shiro said seriously, and Keith couldn't help but laugh. Shiro smiled. "So you said you're from the city?"

The smile faded from Keith's lips. His heart raced nervously. Shiro was going to start asking him questions, and Keith already knew he didn't want to answer them. "Yes," he said, looking down at his food. "Um- what about you?"

"I'm actually from LA," Shiro said, and Keith looked back up at him. "Born and raised there. I hated it, though. My parents wanted me to stay there, but I wanted nothing more than to leave. So when I started applying to colleges, I just found random small towns far away that had programs I liked and started applying. I got accepted into a couple different schools, but chose this one in the end."

"Do you like it here?" Keith asked. 

"I do," Shiro said with a small smile. "It's been a nice getaway. I made some pretty awesome friends. I feel like I was finally able to fit in here."

He took another bite of his nachos. Keith wondered if he would be able to fit in here, too. He wanted to. "I feel like you're the kinda guy who can fit in anywhere," Keith told him. "You're really nice."

Shiro looked rather embarrassed by the compliment. "I try to be," he said. "I was always really shy when I was younger. I would get sick a lot, so sometimes it was hard for me to make friends. When I came here, I didn't know anybody. If it weren't for Lance, I feel like I would have never made any friends. He was my roommate my freshman year, and he helped me become a bit more confident in myself."

Keith considered Shiro's response. Was just one connection enough? It was hard to believe Shiro was ever a shy one, when it had been he who approached Keith in the library. He had been nervous, of course. Keith could tell. But he wasn't so nervous now. He actually seemed quite relaxed with Keith, even though they barely knew each other. Keith wished he could feel relaxed. 

"Do you have any siblings?" Shiro asked. "I'm an only child."

"Same," Keith answered. Though he supposed he could have other siblings, out there somewhere, from the mother he had never met. 

"What about your parents?" Shiro asked. "Do you live with them, still?"

Keith gulped. His heart was racing again. He couldn't look at Shiro. He didn't want Shiro to know about his life. He was trying so hard to put it behind him. His breathing was becoming more rapid. He had to calm down; Shiro was already frowning at him in concern. 

"I-I'm sorry," Shiro said quickly, placing a hand on top of Keith's. "You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to."

Keith couldn't help but notice how warm and comforting Shiro's hand felt on top of his. "I...." Keith took a deep breath, embarrassed. "I'm sorry. I just...some things are hard for me to talk about."

Shiro still looked concerned, but didn't say anything. He removed his hand, and Keith almost asked him to put it back. He wasn't used to small comforts like a hand on his. No one had comforted him in so long. 

"That's okay," Shiro said with a smile. "You can tell me when you're ready. Or never. I'm sorry if I'm being pushy. I just...I just want to know you."

"Why?" Keith asked, his voice barely more than a whisper. 

Shiro rested his chin in his hand. "I'm not sure, honestly. I just know that I do."

Keith tried to smile. "You probably shouldn't want to know me. I'm not...." He wasn't what? Good? Loving? Deserving?

Shiro studied him. "I think I'll make that choice for myself," he said. 

Keith wasn't sure what to make of Shiro. But one thing he did know, was that he felt like he needed to know Shiro as well. There was something about him that was drawing Keith in. He liked the way Shiro smiled. He liked the sound of his voice. And the crazy part was that Shiro seemed to want to be around him, too.  

"Well, my nachos are done," Shiro sighed, looking at his empty plate. "Do you want to go for a walk?"

"Sure," Keith said, not wanting the night to end just yet. He followed Shiro around campus, as Shiro explained to him where certain things were, and different events that would happen throughout the year. He talked a bit about his friends, as well. He seemed to love them a lot. He told Keith about his roommates, Pidge and Hunk, and his best friend Lance, who used to be his roommate but now lived with his girlfriend. Keith was happy to listen to him talk; he really hadn't ever been so invested in another person before. He liked the way Shiro's eyes sparkled when he talked about the things and people he loved. It gave Keith hope in a weird way, that maybe someday he too could love something, or someone as much. 

"I should probably head back," Shiro sighed as they ended up back at the library. The sun was down now, and the evening air was a bit chilly. "Are you heading home?"

"I'll probably go to the library for a bit," Keith said, glancing up at the building. 

"All right," Shiro said with a grin. "Have fun with your homework. Here." He pulled a pen out of his jacket and took Keith's hand. Keith felt his stomach flutter in some strange way he'd never experienced. Shiro wrote something on the top of Keith's hand. Keith looked at it; it was a phone number. "You can call or text me whenever," Shiro told him. "Even if you just need a study partner. Sometimes I need to get out of my house. I love my friends, but they can drive me crazy."

Keith grinned. "All right. I will."

"Good." Shiro smiled at him. "Thanks for hanging out with me, Keith. I...I had fun."

"Me too," Keith replied, and it wasn't a lie. He really had enjoyed his time with Shiro. 

"Well...have a good night," Shiro said with a smile and a wave as he backed away. 

"You too," Keith said, watching as Shiro walked away. Keith turned back to the library, feeling a strange sort of warmth in his chest, despite the cool air. 

* * *

 Shiro returned home, unable to get the smile off of his face. Hanging out with Keith had been so easy, despite the awkward way that they had met. He had probably talked a little too much, but Keith had been so easy to talk to, and he had looked at Shiro as if he were the most fascinating person in the world. He hoped that Keith would message him soon. Shiro was already mentally planning things that they could do together. 

Shiro was stuck in his own head as he entered his house, smile still on his face. It took him a moment to notice that Hunk, Pidge, Lance, and Lance's girlfriend, Allura were all there, watching him in amusement as they sat on the couches with pizza. 

"Someone had a good date," Lance announced, and Shiro felt himself go red. 

"That smile though!" Allura said cheerfully. 

"What did you guys do?" Pidge asked. 

"It-It wasn't a date," Shiro said, pulling off his jacket and kicking off his shoes. "We just hung out, and talked."

"Did you get his number at least?" Pidge asked. 

"I- I gave him mine," Shiro admitted, and they all _ooooooo'_ d. 

"I'm proud of you," Lance said, standing up and clapping him on the shoulder. "And I can tell you are happy, so that's good."

"I want to meet him," Allura said. 

"You should invite him over one of these nights!" Hunk said excitedly. "I can make us all dinner and we can watch a movie or something."

"Yeah!" both Pidge and Allura agreed. 

"All right, guys, calm down," Shiro laughed. "I've barely met him. I'm not about to scare him away with the 'do you want to come over for family dinner.'"

"That's true," Hunk sighed. "But still. Maybe after the second date."

Shiro rolled his eyes. "I'm going to my room, to study," he told them, walking away. 

"Ah come on!" Lance yelled after him. "We got pizza!"

"Not hungry," Shiro announced, shutting his door behind him. He turned on the light and flopped over on his bed, not even grabbing his homework. He liked the idea of inviting Keith over to have dinner with his friends. But of course that would have to wait a bit. His friends were a lot to take in.

He wondered if Keith was still at the library. He wondered how Keith was feeling right now. 

Shiro rolled onto his back and stared at the ceiling. He remembered how Keith had reacted when Shiro asked about his parents. Keith had obviously been upset- he even looked like he was on the verge of some sort of panic attack. It made Shiro sad. Something must have happened if it hurt Keith that much to talk about it. He hadn't really seemed to talk about himself that much at all. Shiro couldn't help but feel a bit worried for him. He wanted to know more, to understand, but he knew that Keith would have to tell him himself, when he was ready to. 

Shiro's phone buzzed. He looked at it. He got a message from a number he didn't know. 

_Hey, this is Keith. So you have my number._

Shiro smiled, saving Keith's number into his phone. Keith messaged him again before he had a chance to reply. 

_Thanks for tonight._

Shiro remembered Keith sitting alone, quietly in the library for so many hours. The boy that had looked so lonely. Shiro was glad that he decided to talk to him. Keith was kind, even if he was a bit awkward. Shiro knew that something must have happened in his life to make him become withdrawn from people. But under all that, it seemed like Keith just really needed a friend. 

_No need to thank me. I had fun. Will I see you tomorrow?_

A few seconds later, he received a response. 

_Yeah. I'll see you at the_ _l_ _ibrary._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm enjoying writing this way too much :')
> 
> The next chapter time will start to skip a little bit faster! I have the story sort of planned out all the way through to the end of the school year, so hopefully I can find a good pace and also not make this 100 chapters long xD <3


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith meets Shiro's friends, and tells Shiro about his past <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That "to build a home" song was playing nonstop in my head as I wrote this chapter <3

Pretty soon, going to the library because Shiro's favorite thing. 

He got into a habit of stopping by every day to see Keith, whether he worked that day or not. If it was a morning he worked, he'd come by early, and Keith would always be there, waiting for him, even if it was a night that Keith had worked late. Shiro loved the way that Keith's face would light up when he saw him. Shiro's stomach would flutter every time, and he wouldn't be able to stop smiling. 

Some days, they walked around campus. Autumn was settling in around them, causing the leaves to change and the air to chill. But Keith seemed to love the autumn weather. He never complained that it was too cold. They'd get hot coffees and put on their jackets and hats and just walk, talking about their day. They'd complain about their classes and jobs, or laugh over things their professors did. Sometimes they'd sit in front of the campus lake- it was a fake lake, but still nice to look at- and talk until the sun had set. Shiro started to learn little things about Keith. He didn't laugh much, but when he did, it was beautiful, and made Shiro's hear light. He didn't like too much sugar in his coffee. He was really smart. He was acing his classes and assignments so far, the work not even a challenge for him. And he sometimes got a far away look in his eyes, like he was somewhere else. It worried Shiro when that happened. It was like Keith was going somewhere he couldn't bring him back from. 

They continued this for about two weeks. October dawned on them, bringing autumn in full swing. The leaves started to fall, coating the campus in orange and red. Shiro's friends had been begging him constantly for him to bring Keith over for their 'family dinner' so they could all formally meet him. Shiro had been afraid that Keith wouldn't want to, and kept putting it off. But he finally caved, because he realized how much he wanted Keith to meet them, too. His friends may be a lot to handle, especially all at once. But he knew they also cared about him, and wanted him to be happy. And a part of him was hoping that Keith might find friendship in them as well. He had this idea in his head that they could all just hang out together, kind of like the way Allura had made her way into their little gang. Like some big happy family.

He brought it up one morning as they sat in the library, quietly working on their homework. It was a Friday, and he knew Keith didn't have to work that night. He looked up from his books and watched Keith, his eyebrows furrowed in concentration as he worked on some math homework. Shiro ended up watching him a bit too long- Keith looked up at him with a playful smile on his lips. 

"What's that saying?" he said thoughtfully. "Take a picture so it will last longer?"

Shiro grinned embarrassedly. "Sorry," he apologized. He wasn't about to admit that he liked watching Keith- he liked studying his movements, watching him work. "I want to ask you something."

"Okay," Keith said slowly, and Shiro could see him suddenly tense up. He'd noticed this before when talking to Keith. There was a lot about him that Shiro still didn't know, and it seemed Keith was still too afraid to tell him.

"Will you come over tonight, to my place, for dinner?" Shiro asked him nervously. "My friends want to meet you, and my roommate Hunk is a really good cook."

Keith relaxed a bit, which Shiro took as a good sign. "Tonight?" Keith repeated, looking uncertain. 

"I know it's short notice," Shiro said quickly. "Do you have something else planned?"

"No," Keith admitted with a small smile. "I just...what if they don't like me?"

He said it so quietly, Shiro had just barely heard him. Keith refused to meet his eyes. Shiro realized with was a real fear of Keith's. 

"They will, because I like you," Shiro told him, reaching out and taking Keith's hand. "They're really cool, I promise. They're a little loud and like to talk a lot, but they are kind. And I want you to meet them."

Keith doodled mindlessly at the corner of his paper, still not looking at Shiro. But he didn't pull his hand away, either. Finally he took a deep breath, and looked up at Shiro. "Okay," he said, looking a bit surprised at himself. "What time?"

Shiro felt ridiculously excited. "Um- like 7? Is that okay? I can meet you here if you want, or you can drive yourself, or whatever."

"Okay," Keith said again, and managed a smile. "I'll- I'll meet you here if that's okay. I don't want to get lost."

Shiro smiled. "Okay, then. Tonight."

Keith nodded and looked back down at his homework. Shiro felt weirdly giddy. After a moment he remembered that he hadn't even asked his friends if it was okay- and quickly sent them a message, crossing his fingers that it would all work out. 

 

* * *

"You are _so_ lucky I love you, Shiro," Hunk sighed as he stirred pots on the stove, the house warm and full of the smell of garlic. He was making some sort of chicken pasta, and Pidge kept sticking her head in to see if he was done yet. "I could have made a fancier dinner, but you didn't give me much time to work with."

"Ahh I'm sure it will be great," Shiro said, slinging his arm around Hunk's neck. "And you don't know how thankful I am."

Hunk grinned. "I do know. And I know you wouldn't ask me if it wasn't important." He turned and looked at him. "You really like this guy, don't you?"

Shiro smiled. "I do," he said. "I don't know if it will ever go anywhere, romantically. But...I just like being with him. I don't know what it is. I can't explain it."

Hunk turned back to the pasta. "Well, you don't have to define it. Just...let it happen."

"Yeah," Shiro agreed, feeling warm. "I guess I should go get him, then. Hey, guys!" he called out, and Pidge, Lance and Allura all poked their heads in. "I'm gonna go get him. But I need to ask you a favor."

"Anything," Lance said proudly.

"Just...don't....ask him questions about his family, or anything like that," Shiro said awkwardly. "I don't know why, but...I guess something might have happened that he isn't ready to talk about yet, and I just don't want...." He sighed, unsure of how to say it. Lance, Allura and Pidge all looked at one another.

"No family questions, got it," Pidge said, disappearing.

"Isn't that a bit weird though?" Lance asked, and Allura nudged him.

"We understand, Shiro," she said firmly, grabbing Lance by the arm and pulling him away.

Shiro looked at Hunk, who smiled.

"Don't worry," Hunk said. "It'll be fine. Now go get him, before I finish this and he gets here to cold dinner. It's important to me that people think my cooking is perfect and phenomenal."

"Thats's because it is!" Shiro told him, grabbing his keys and running out the door.  

Keith was waiting for him on the north side of campus, standing in front of the theatre building, which had tall spires like a castle. He had a hat over his dark hair and his hands buried in his pockets. The leaves flew across his path with the small breeze. Shiro got distracted for a moment by how picturesque the scene was, nearly stopping in the middle of the road. Luckily the streets were quiet, and no one seemed to notice. He pulled over and Keith smiled when he saw him, just like he always did. But his smile also showed that he was a bit nervous. 

"Hey," Shiro said as he climbed in. Keith's face was pink with cold, the scar standing out a bit more than normal. "Sorry if you were waiting long."

"No, I just got here actually," Keith said, putting his seat belt on. 

"Good," Shiro replied, realizing he was a bit nervous himself. "Dinner was just about done when I left, so I hope you're hungry."

"Starved," Keith admitted with a small smile. "So...who all is there? Your roommates?"

"Hunk and Pidge, yes," Shiro said as he got back onto the road. "Hunk's the master chef. He's a really nice guy. And Pidge can be kind of quiet at times, but if you start talking about something she has an opinion on, then she'll never stop talking. And then Lance and Allura are there as well. Lance is a bit of a goofball, so don't mind if he starts making bad jokes. Allura can usually set him straight, though."

Keith nodded, looking as if he was mentally filing the information. He was drumming his fingers against his leg, unable to sit still. "Everyone is really nice," Shiro said, trying to think of things that would calm him. "And they know that you are important to me."

Oh crap, he said that out loud. Keith just looked at him. Shiro wanted to pretend he hadn't said anything, so he changed the subject. "You like pasta, right?"

He stole a glace at Keith, and Keith was still looking at him with a strange expression. He was probably freaked out. They'd only known one another for like three weeks, after all. Why had he said that out loud?

"I like pasta," Keith said, and looked down at his hands. But there was a small smile on his face. 

They were silent the rest of the way, which was only a few minutes. They pulled into the driveway of the Shiro's house, sitting there a moment even after he turned the car off. "Well, I guess it's time to go in," Shiro said awkwardly, and Keith nodded. They got out of the car and walked up the front steps. Shiro looked at him before the went inside, and Keith nodded again, as if to say _'Im ready.'_

Shiro pushed open the door. The front door opened into the living room, so Pidge, Lance, and Allura were all there on the couch, looking over excitedly. Shiro and Keith stepped in, Shiro's heart beating quickly with nerves. There was an awkward silence where no one moved or did anything, and Shiro realized that they were waiting for him. He cleared his throat and said, "Guys, this is Keith."

"Hey, I'm Pidge," Pidge announced, not moving from her spot or putting down her laptop. But she smiled, so that was something. 

Allura jumped up, pulling Lance with her. "I'm Allura," she said, offering Keith her hand, which he shook with a small smile. 

"And I'm Lance, Shiro's best friend, and Allura's boyfriend," Lance announced, holding his hand out as well. 

"Nice to meet you," Keith said, his voice rather quiet, but Shiro could tell how hard he was trying. 

"You're just in time!" Hunk peeked from the kitchen. "I'm Hunk, by the way!" he added with a wave. "We don't have a dinner table, so you can just sit wherever. Pidge, come help me."

Pidge sighed exasperatedly but got up anyway. They had two mismatched couches in their living room; one had been a gift from Shiro's parents, and the other had been gifted to them from Hunk's uncle. Their house was all a bunch of mismatched things that they'd been given or found themselves here and there over the years. It wasn't the most organized, but it felt like home to Shiro. His parents had always been very uniform, even in their home- colors and styles had to match and flow perfectly. It had sort of driven him crazy, so he welcomed their weirdly styled home.

Keith and Shiro took one couch as Allura and Lance sat on the other. "I'm glad we get to finally meet you," Allura said. 

"Yeah, Shiro's been talking about you nonstop these past few weeks," Lance added, and Shiro felt himself go red. Already. Two minutes in. 

"He talks about you all a lot as well," Keith replied, a small smile on his lips. "I think it's really nice that he has such great friends."

"Aww, Shiro, you called us great?" Lance said, wiping a pretend tear. "I love you too, buddy."

Keith chuckled. Shiro tried to shake off his embarrassment. "I told him you tell bad jokes."

"That is not true!" Lance said at once. "Okay, Keith," he said seriously. "So listen to this. One-"

"Don't even tell the castle joke," Hunk said, as he and Pidge carried plates of food in. 

"How did you know that's what I was going to say? And why not?" Lance said, eyeing the food hungrily. 

"Because, you've told it more times than I can count, and I hate it," Hunk replied, handing him and Allura their plates as Pidge handed plates to Keith and Shiro. 

"Thank you," Keith told her, and she grinned. "This looks amazing, Hunk," he added. He wasn't kidding. Hunk had made some pasta, chicken, and bread, and it smelled and looked delicious.

"I like him, Shiro," Hunk said with a wink, going to grab his own plate. 

They were mostly quiet as they ate, the food too good to pause and talk. Soon all of their plates were empty, everyone looking full and content. Keith had practically cleaned his plate. Allura stood up to collect everyones plates, and Lance stood up to help, though he looked like he fight fall asleep. 

"I can help," Keith said, standing up. 

"No, you are the guest," Allura told him. 

"I mean, technically so are we," Lance said, but Allura shushed him and led him to the kitchen. 

"It really was fantastic though, Hunk," Keith said as Pidge disappeared behind her laptop again. "Thank you."

"My pleasure," Hunk replied, patting his stomach. "I enjoyed it myself. Good to know that I'm not losing my touch."

"I haven't had a home cooked meal in so long," Keith said, and then his eyes widened. Pidge looked over the top of her computer. Hunk smiled sadly. Shiro's heart squeezed painfully. He wondered how long ago it had been. Keith stood up suddenly. "I'm going to get some air," he said, grabbing his coat and stepping outside without another word. 

Shiro just sat there a moment, unsure of what to say or do. "Well go after him," Pidge said suddenly, and Shiro jumped up, feeling foolish. He grabbed his own coat and stepped outside. Keith was just sitting on the steps, hugging his knees. Shiro sat down next to him, so close that their shoulders were touching. The stairs weren't that big. But Keith didn't move away from him. 

"I'm sorry," he said, without looking at Shiro. "Sometimes I say things without meaning to."

"You don't have to be sorry," Shiro told him. "You...you didn't say anything wrong or anything."

Keith sighed heavily. He turned slightly so he could look at Shiro better. He seemed to be reading Shiro with his eyes, as if he was trying to see something deep inside of him. His eyes looked so sad, and Shiro hated it. He never wanted to see Keith sad, because Keith had made him nothing but happy. 

"My dad died when I was twelve," Keith told him, his hands grasping his coat as if his words were painful. "He was a good guy, my dad. It was just me and him, you know. My mom left when I was a baby, and his parents had died before I was born. I didn't have any aunts or uncles. It was just the two of us. But it was okay. He always made it okay, no matter what. But...." Keith looked down. "He died in a fire. I wasn't home when it happened. It was some kind of malfunction in the house. I went to school and things were fine. I came home and...my house was gone. And my dad was gone."

Shiro felt a lump in his throat. He could picture a small Keith, returning home from school with his backpack in hand, to find that everything he had known was gone. It was awful to even think about. 

"I got pushed around the system a lot," Keith continued. "Foster care. Group homes. Some of the families weren't too bad. Some of them were." He traced the scar on his cheek. "One of my foster parents threw a knife at me once. I don't think she meant to hit me, but she did. She took me to the hospital and made me promise to not tell the truth. And no one would believe me, anyway. They never did." His hand dropped from his face. "I was just a problem kid. I acted out a lot. Got into fights. Did stupid petty stuff. When I was seventeen, I ended up in juvie. That's where I got my GED. When I got out I started saving up money. They sent me back to a group home, and I left when I turned eighteen. I stayed with this guy for a while but...he was stealing the money I was working so hard to save. But I got into college, somehow. And now....I'm here."

Keith took a deep breath. Shiro felt like he couldn't move. It was as if someone had hit him over the head, and he was shocked. It all made so much sense, now. The way Keith kept to himself. The way he closed himself off, especially when you tried to ask him questions about his past. It made sense, but it didn't make Shiro feel any better. If anything it made him feel worse. He hadn't had a way of knowing, of course. But it made him feel guilty that he'd ever wanted Keith to open up to him. He couldn't even imagine what it must feel like to go through what Keith had just explained to him. He couldn't even comprehend it. Even just to say it out loud must be painful. 

"I understand if you want me to go," Keith said quietly. He stood up, making Shiro jump, and looked down at him. Keith looked startled. "Are you...crying?"

Shiro blinked, and realized he was indeed crying. "I'm sorry," Keith said, and turned to walk away, but Shiro caught his arm, yelling _"Wait!"_

Keith stopped but didn't look at him. "Please, don't go," Shiro told him, wiping his face. "I don't want you to go."

Keith turned to him, his eyes full of so much sadness and hurt, Shiro just felt more tears come. "Why?" Keith whispered. 

"Because...." Shiro wiped his face again. "Because being with you makes me happy. I like the way you smile when you look at me. I like the way you get lost in your work. I...I just like you."

"Even knowing all of that?" Keith whispered. "Even knowing I'm some fucked up kid that ended up in juvie?"

"It doesn't matter," Shiro replied, and it was true. "I hate that it happened to you. It...it makes me sad that anyone would have to go through that, especially someone like you."

"I don't need your pity," Keith told him, his tears falling as well. 

"I don't pity you!" Shiro told him. "I think the fact that your still standing after all of that, and that you can be so kind to others...I...." Shiro wasn't sure how to say it. "I think you are beautiful," he whispered. 

Keith stared at him. For a moment nothing happened- even the wind seemed to have calmed as they stared at each other. And then Shiro pulled Keith in his arms, and suddenly Keith was sobbing, holding on to Shiro so tightly, as if afraid he would disappear. Shiro just held him, letting him cry, his own tears still silently falling. They stood there in front of his house until Keith's breathing calmed, and he relaxed in Shiro's arms. Finally he pulled away, his eyes still wet. 

"I'm a mess," he whispered with a laugh that was more a sob. 

"That's okay," Shiro told him, his hands lingering in Keith's. "I don't mind." He pushed Keith's hair out of his face. "I'm glad you told me."

"No one's ever cared," Keith said, squeezing Shiro's hands. 

Shiro's throat burned. "Well I do," he managed to say. 

Keith gave him a watery smile, sniffling. Shiro started to think about Keith's constant presence in the library, and his late hours at work. 

"So, then, who do you live with now?" he asked. 

Keith looked down. "Nobody." He looked back up as Shiro waited for him to elaborate. "I....I've been saving my money for a while, for my own apartment- but I know I need a lot and I keep buying food and stuff. So I just...sleep in my car."

All this time, he's been sleeping in his car? It made Shiro sick to think about, especially with how cold it had been getting at night. 

"I can't allow you to keep doing that," he said, without even having to think about it. "I'm going to talk to the others."

"Shiro-"

"Lance's room is empty, after all-"

"Shiro you can't-"

"And rent isn't that much if we are splitting it four ways again anyway-"

"Shiro!" Keith yelled. "I can't let you do this. I mean, I just told you I'm some fuck up and you want to open your house up to me?"

"Yes," Shiro said seriously. "I - I can't allow you to sleep in your car. It's going to be snowing before you know it."

"But- Hunk and Pidge-"

"-will agree with me," Shiro finished for him. "Trust me." He sighed. "Look, I know we haven't known each other that long. But...I want to help you. Because you've helped me without even knowing it. And you have some money, right? So it's not like you can't support yourself. And we have the extra space." Maybe Shiro was being naive. But It just wouldn't sit with him right if he knew Keith was huddled alone in his car, the temperature getting colder every day. 

"I don't know," Keith said doubtfully. 

"Come on." Shiro took his hand, trying to pull him toward the door. "I'll go talk to them right now."

Keith wouldn't move. "I just feel bad."

Shiro sighed. "Please, don't. You'll actually be doing us a favor. It makes it cheaper for us if you are splitting the bills. We can go in and talk it over with them right now."

Keith just stared at him. He got the smallest of smiles on his face. Shiro's heart skipped. He knew it was fast, and crazy, but he didn't care. He couldn't stand the idea of Keith having no where to go, and no place to call home. 

"Let's at least talk to them," Shiro said softly. "Please?"

Finally, Keith relented. "I think you might be too good to be true, Shiro. I don't understand how or why you walked into my life."

Shiro just smiled. "I guess it was fate."

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this chapter was a bit long, but I kind of got caught up in it <3


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith's birthday <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys have a sweet tooth because this chapter :'')
> 
> I like writing cute and sweet scenes as much as I like writing H/C ones <3 
> 
> I do plan on having darker themes pop up eventually, so it won't always be super fluffy. But man I still enjoy writing these characters either way <3

"You really do have a lot of books," Keith observed, his fingers trailing lightly over the books on Shiro's bookshelf, which was taller than Keith was.

"I've been collecting them since I was a kid," Shiro replied from his bed, textbook open on his lap, though Keith didn't think he had read any of it. The last twenty four hours had been somewhat of an emotional rollercoaster. Following their talk on the steps outside, Shiro and Keith had sat down with Hunk and Pidge- and Allura and Lance as well, since they were there- and sort of explained Keith's situation. Shiro didn't bring up Keith's family situation or the fact that he'd been locked up. He simply explained that Keith had no where to sleep and suggested he take the empty room. Keith felt a bit guilty suddenly pressuring Shiro's friends to invite him into their lives. It seemed unfair to him that they really didn't even have time to think it over, since Shiro was insisting that Keith would not spend one more night without a roof over his head. But honestly, Hunk and Pidge didn't seem too bothered by it. 

Pidge only asked that he not touch her computer, and explained to him the bill and chore chart that she would create to evenly split the bills and chores out among the four of them. Hunk explained how they each bought their own food items, or would throw in together when making a dinner for them all. They were extremely easy rules in Keith's opinion, and he let them know he'd have no trouble following them. They seemed pleased by that, and said they were fine with him staying- even happy, as Shiro said, that it meant that their bills would be a little cheaper for them. 

So that night, Keith officially became the fourth roommate of their house. Shiro took him to go pick up his car on campus, and Keith drove it and parked it in front of the little white house, gathering his things he owned from his car and carrying them inside. It had been absolutely terrifying. It was like he was just waiting for someone to say "never mind!" and shut the door in his face. But that never happened. Quite the opposite, they offered to help him and lent him blankets and pillows. There was still furniture in Lance's old room, and Lance said he didn't mind Keith using it. So Keith had gone to bed the night before, in a real bed with pillows and blankets, his heart full of wonder of how people this genuinely caring could exist. 

That morning, they had all piled in Shiro's car and took Keith to the local thrift store to find some things for his room. It ended up being a lot of fun, too. Pidge and Hunk had enjoyed grabbing random Halloween costumes and putting them on, and had grabbed some decorations for the house as well. Keith had been able to get a few things, like his own blankets and towels, and although his room was still pretty barren, he was thankful to have it at all. 

"My mom used to buy them for me all the time, or pick them up from yard sales or whatever," Shiro explained as Keith examined the bookshelves. "I think my dad hated it."

"Why?" Keith asked. 

Shiro shrugged. "I guess I was always sort of a disappointment to my dad. He wanted me to be an athlete, but I was never healthy enough. He wanted me to go to business school, and I ended up a sociology major. My dad was just very...set in his ways. My mom would just say 'that's just how he is.' But I was lucky she was understanding. She liked the way reading brought me joy. She just wanted me to be happy, and my dad wanted me to be someone that I'm not."

Keith looked at him, pondering what Shiro had said. He had always wondered what life would have been like with two parents. He always assumed it would be picture perfect, like some movie or something. But he could see that Shiro was hurt by the way his father treated him, even if he didn't say it. 

"Well I like who you are," Keith told him, and Shiro smiled, his cheeks a little pink. Keith sat down at the end of Shiro's bed. "So what do you plan on doing, after you graduate?"

Shiro grinned sheepishly. "I don't really know, to be honest. I guess my end goal has always been to make it through college, and I've never really thought about what happens after. Even now, all I can think about is finishing my credits."

"Well...what do you _want_?" Keith asked instead. 

Shiro closed his text book and tossed it to the side. "Actually, I would like to work in social services," he said, looking a bit afraid, as if Keith would get upset. 

Keith actually thought it was brilliant. "You'd make a good social worker," he said. "You really care about people."

Shiro hesitated a moment. "Did you feel like your social workers didn't care?" he asked. 

Keith took a moment to think about it. "You don't have to answer," Shiro said quickly. "I'm sorry if-"

"No, it's okay." And that was the truth. Keith actually felt a million times better now that Shiro knew the truth about him, especially since Shiro knew the truth and still wanted him around. It actually felt good to talk about it with someone. Keith hadn't had anyone to talk to in such a long time. "I don't think it's that they didn't care," he told Shiro. "I just think that they were very overworked, and so when it came time to deal with me, they just wanted to get it over as quick as possible, because they had ten more kids waiting on them."

"That's sad," Shiro said frowning. 

Keith nodded. "The whole system, foster care and the justice system too, it's all sad. There's a lot of kids out there who've gone through things worse than I have."

Shiro fiddled with his blanket. "I don't know how you do it. Deal with it."

Keith smiled. "It helps to have good friends."

Shiro looked up at him and smiled too. 

* * *

 It didn't take Keith long to fall into the routine of the house and his new roommates. They were all busy, having their classes and jobs to attend to, so Keith felt like he barely even saw them some days. It was hard, sharing one bathroom with three other people, especially when their schedules started to clash, but Keith really didn't mind it. He didn't even mind doing chores around the house, still grateful to even have the opportunity to be there. Pidge, Hunk and Shiro dragged him out into the yard to help them decorate for Halloween, and Keith got lost in how _fun_ it was. His dad had always decorated with him, but Keith really hadn't had the opportunity to do so since his dad's death. He found himself laughing with the others and even throwing in ideas. Soon their house was the most decorated on the block, and they all stood there and looked up at it proudly. 

He started to grow a bit closer to the others as well. He helped Hunk in the kitchen sometimes, curious to learn how to cook things, since he could barely boil water by himself. Pidge talked him in to playing some sort of online games with her, and he had stayed up until 4 am with her one night, totally lost in some made up fantasy world. 

Lance and Allura came by often as well, usually without warning, though that seemed to be a normal thing. Lance would tell stories and jokes for hours on end, and Allura would always fuss over Keith, offering to cut his hair and fix a tear in his clothes. Keith soon came to realize that Shiro wasn't his only friend, anymore; he had all of them. They had welcomed him into their lives as easily as Shiro had. It made Keith feel warm. He actually looked forward to every day now. He no longer had to worry or struggle, and he no longer had to face his battles alone. 

Shiro was still a constant presence in his life. They still made time to take walks around campus, or hang out and drink their coffees in the library. Sometimes Keith would go in while Shiro was working just to be close to him. He felt more grounded when he was around Shiro. Just seeing Shiro smile at him from across the room was enough to make him feel better, even on a bad day. 

One morning, they were standing and waiting for their coffees at the café, both of them a little tired- Keith had worked late and Shiro had been up working on his assignments- when Keith's eyes noticed the date hanging up on the wall. October 23rd. 

"Oh," he said out loud, as Shiro grabbed their drinks. 

"What is it?" Shiro asked, handing Keith his cup and taking a sip of his own. 

"It's my birthday," Keith replied, making Shiro choke. 

"Why didn't you tell me?" Shiro gasped through his coughing. "I didn't even get you anything, or plan anything!"

"You don't need to," Keith laughed, Shiro looking as if Keith had done something terribly wrong. 

"But I do!" Shiro sighed. "That's what friends do for one another. I gotta text the others."

"Why?" Keith asked as Shiro pulled out his phone. "You don't have to make it a big deal-"

"Yes, I do," Shiro said seriously. "You're our roommate, now. This is what we do. We're at least getting you a cake. You like cake, right?"

"Sure," Keith said, sighing. He grinned. "Thank you. I usually don't celebrate my birthday. I didn't even know if I would make it to nineteen."

Keith mentally kicked himself, the smile vanishing from Shiro's face. He still found himself saying things he knew others found uncomfortable, but Keith had never really had to think about it much before. It was true that he really hadn't never thought about what his life at nineteen would be. And there had been times where he doubted he'd even still be around. He certainly never imagined that he would be standing there with coffee in his hand, halfway through his first semester of college, standing next to someone who made him feel... _better_.

"Well you are," Shiro said, taking Keith's hand in his. "And you deserve to have a wonderful birthday."

They stood there and looked at each other a moment, their hands still clasped together. Shiro was very close. Keith had the strangest urge to wrap his arms around him. Shiro's cheeks turned red and he pulled away, clearing his throat. "Don't worry about a thing. We'll plan everything.  Just go have fun in class, or at least try to."

"All right," Keith said, feeling awkward for some reason. "I'll see you later, then."

"Okay," Shiro said with a smile, and Keith walked away, confused about what had just happened. 

* * *

When Keith got home that evening, he was nearly blasted out of the house by the sheer volume of noise. 

"Happy birthday!" Everyone was there waiting for him, throwing balloons and streamers into the air. Pidge had come out from behind her computer. Hunk already had a cake in hand. Allura jumped up and down with excitement. Lance had thrown most of the streamers. And Shiro, smiling widely, his eyes lit up with excitement, stealing Keith's breath away. 

Someone had made a _Happy Birthday Keith_ banner and hung it on the wall over the couch. Balloons were everywhere- taped up to the walls, on the floor, on top the TV. "This is crazy," Keith said, and he meant it- he hadn't had a birthday like this since he was a kid. Pidge and Allura hugged him, Hunk shoved a plate with a huge piece of cake on it towards him, Lance started to sing "Happy Birthday to you," and soon they were all singing. Keith felt so happy he could cry- he almost did. He felt the tears threatening him. He couldn't even remember the last time he had cried happy tears, or if he ever had at all. 

"Hunk you forgot the candles," Lance said exasperatedly. 

"Aw, man," Hunk moaned. "I was so excited to have you try it."

"That's okay," Keith said, trying to keep his composure. "I don't have anything to wish for. I have everything I need."

His eyes found Shiro, and Shiro smiled warmly at him. 

"Okay, I want cake," Lance announced, and everyone hurried to get their own piece. Keith took a bite of his own, instantly in heaven. It was some sort of strawberry cake, and it basically melted in his mouth. He easily finished his piece, as large as it was, and asked for a second. 

After their cake, Hunk pulled out a game called Pictionary, which Keith had never played, but apparently it was their tradition to play it at birthday parties. Unfortunately, Keith was not the greatest artist, so he failed pretty miserably. But Lance wasn't much better, so that made him feel a bit better about it. Pidge was surprising good, as was Hunk, and Shiro and Allura were better than Keith and Lance, at least. Even if he was terrible, Keith still enjoyed it,  even laughing at his own miserable excuses of drawings. Shiro kept catching his eye throughout the night, and every time, Keith would feel warm inside at Shiro's small smile. 

Once the game was over, Lance and Allura left for the night, wishing Keith a happy birthday one last time. Pidge retired behind her computer, and Hunk fell asleep on the couch. Keith and Shiro cleaned up the plates and cups and put the cake away, though it was mostly gone already. 

"Did you have a good birthday?" Shiro asked as they stood side by side at the sink, Keith washing the dishes while Shiro rinsed. 

"The best I ever had," Keith said. "And it's all thanks to you."

Shiro grinned. "I'm glad. And get used to it, because every birthday is like that. I think Hunk's is next, in January."

"When's yours?" Keith asked.

"February 29th," Shiro laughed. 

"Of course you were born on a leap year," Keith said, shaking his head. "You just amaze me more and more every day."

Shiro looked at him, ignoring the dish Keith was trying to hand him. He pushed Keith's hair back, his finger trailing down the length of the scar on his cheek. "You amaze me more and more every day," Shiro said softly. 

Keith's heart raced at Shiro's touch. He liked it. It made him feel warm, and light, like no bad thing could ever hurt him again. Keith had never really experienced love before. He wasn't sure if this was what love felt like. But he knew that he liked Shiro, and wanted to be around him. He liked how gentle his hands were, and the way he smiled. He felt safe, and in a strange way, he felt like he mattered. He could see it in the way Shiro looked at him. Shiro cared in a way no one had ever had before. 

Keith reached out and touched Shiro's face, forgetting that his hands were full of bubbles from the soap. Shiro didn't seem to care. He smiled, and leaned in, kissing Keith softly on the lips. It was quick, and gentle, but it left Keith feeling breathless. Shiro rested his forehead against Keith's, smiling. 

"Happy birthday," he whispered. 

It was definitely the best birthday he ever had. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to try and fit Halloween into this chapter as well, but it would have been too long. So next chapter :)


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for the kudos and reviews, it means so much to me! You guys are the best <3

Romelle sat a pile of books down on Shiro's cart, a grin on her face. "More for you, Takashi," she said. She was wearing a witch's hat for Halloween. They'd had fun making Halloween decorations and setting out good horror books around the library for the holiday. "Where's your boyfriend?" she asked, looking around. "I can't believe he's not here."

"He's in class," Shiro said, looking at the books she'd sat down. "And I told you to stop calling him that. His name is Keith."

"I know," she sighed. "I just think it's cute and all. I was lucky enough to see your first interaction with him, after all."

Shiro chuckled. Since Keith's birthday, Keith and Shiro hadn't really defined what their relationship to one another was. Shiro didn't mind, though. He didn't want to put any pressure on either of them. He knew that he liked Keith, and that Keith liked him. And some times they held hands, or sat together on the couch to watch movies. It was so easy, and wonderful. 

"So, you guys are having your party tonight, right?" Romelle asked. 

"Oh, crap." Shiro smacked his forehead. "It is Halloween today, isn't it?"

She laughed. "Yes, hence the hat. Don't you guys get ready for like a week?"

"Yeah, yeah," Shiro sighed. "I've just been...busy lately."

She smirked but didn't say anything. Shiro was surprised she didn't take the easy bait to pick on him about Keith. "Well I'm coming, and I'll bring James. It'll be nice to see you and Keith together. What are you guys going as?"

"Um...." He still hadn't gotten a costume. "It's a surprise."

"You didn't even get one!" She laughed. "What kind of party host are you?"

"It was always Lance's thing more than mine," he told her stubbornly. Lance loved any excuse to throw a party. Every year, at their house they would throw a Halloween party for their friends. It wasn't a huge party or anything, but it did mean buying a lot of treats and cheap alcohol. They had bought supplies over the weekend, and yet somehow Shiro had been so distracted he hadn't even been thinking of the party. He was surprised Lance hadn't texted him a million times already, but then again, Lance never woke up before 11am. 

Sure enough, by noon Lance had texted Shiro seven times running by plans with him and yelling at Shiro for not getting a costume. Shiro finally just turned his notifications off, after letting Lance know everything would be ready to go on time. Shiro waited for Keith to get out of his last class, the cold air whipping the leaves around him. It hadn't snowed yet, but Shiro knew it would be coming soon.

Keith smiled brightly when he saw Shiro waiting for him, and Shiro couldn't help but smile in return. "Hey," he said as Keith joined him. "How was class?" 

"Good," Keith replied as they made their way to the parking lot. "My professor went on and on about that research paper I did, and I didn't have the heart to tell her I did it in like three hours."

Shiro laughed. "Natural talent." 

Keith shrugged. "I'm just a procrastinator."

Shiro was always impressed by Keith's ability to write assignments or study last second and yet still pull off good grades. "So...you remember that party we're having tonight?"

Keith nodded. Shiro wasn't too sure how Keith felt about parties, and it made him a bit worried. He knew Keith wouldn't complain, but he didn't want him to be uncomfortable, either. 

"Are you okay with it?" Shiro asked. "It's okay if you're not. We can go somewhere else."

Keith smiled appreciatively. "That would break Lance's heart. Even Hunk and Pidge are excited. No, I'm okay. I've never been to a party before is all. I might be awkward."

"Well, I'll be there the whole time," he promised. "And it's mostly people you already know. But we do have one problem."

"What's that?"

"We need costumes still."

Keith stopped walking, and laughed. "Me too?"

Shiro grinned. "Why not? It's actually quite fun. I was thinking we can run to the store now. There'll probably be nothing good left, but we should be able to find something."

Keith smiled. "Okay. There's a first time for everything."

There was indeed not much left at the store when they arrived. They ended up having to sort of improvise; they got little sets of devil ears and tails, Keith getting the red and Shiro the black, and decided they would have to make something work with clothes they already had at home. When they finally returned to the house, Pidge, Hunk, Lance and Allura were all there, getting things set up. Pidge was dressed up as some sort of wizard or something, and she explained it was a character from a game she played. Hunk was dressed as a vampire, with a high collared cloak. He kept speaking in a fake accent, trying to be Dracula. Allura and Lance were dressed like they were from the 1920s, and Shiro had to admit that they looked quite good. Allura looked dazzling, her hair up in curls and feathers in her hair, and Lance looked more put together than Shiro had ever seen him, even with a fedora. 

"Devil ears?" Lance exclaimed when he saw their bag. "That's lazy, Shiro."

"There was nothing left!" Shiro exclaimed. 

Lance mocked a hurt expression. "I can't believe you just went to get your costume. It's our senior year!"

"Sorry," Shiro sighed. 

"They'll look wonderful Lance, stop making him feel bad," Allura said with a grin. "You'll forget about it by the time the party starts anyway."

Luckily they were able to escape into their rooms to get ready. Shiro dressed in black pants and a white button up. It was indeed lazy, but it still worked; he even quite liked the way he looked. Keith came and knocked on his door. He had done much the same, dressing in jeans and a black shirt, tying his hair back in a ponytail, devil ears poking out of his hair. He shrugged, looking embarrassed, but Shiro thought he looked good, as well. He liked when Keith tied his hair back. 

"You look great," Shiro told him. 

"So do you," Keith said, grinning. "You're too good to be a devil, though."

"I am not," Shiro replied, but he laughed. They went out to help the others get ready, and within an hour, people started to show up. 

Luckily they didn't invite too many people, for the house wasn't even that big. Romelle and her friend James showed up, still wearing her witch hat and a costume to match. Veronica came, also doing the lazy costume, with cat ears and painted whiskers. Pidge's brother, Matt came, looking rather gory as a zombie. Though a couple other people had mentioned coming, no one else showed up. Shiro was almost glad; he really just wanted in the mood for overcrowded parties anymore, and Keith was already looking nervous enough. Luckily he already knew Veronica from work, and had seen Romelle around the library, but Shiro could still sense his nerves. Apparently he wasn't the only one- Lance pushed a cup of his "specialty punch" into Keith's hands, already having drank a couple himself, and said, "Relax, Keith!"

"You don't have to drink it," Shiro laughed as Keith sniffed it uncertainly. He shrugged and took a sip. 

"It's not bad," he said. Lance cheered. 

Keith soon finished his cup, and started on a second. Shiro helped himself to some punch as well, though he tried not to drink much anymore. Soon enough Keith was smiling a lot more, his cheeks slightly pink, and even got up to join Lance and Allura in dancing. Soon everyone was up, dancing and laughing. Shiro had fun twirling Keith around like they were some fancy ballroom dancers. They snacked on pizza, chips, and cupcakes, which Hunk had made to look like jack-o-lanterns. Once everyone was tired of dancing, Hunk turned on the movie _Halloween_ , which Keith told Shiro he had never seen. However, they could barely hear the movie over everyone's chatter. Keith had finished his third cup of punch, and stood up to get another, stumbling slightly.

"All right, I think that's enough," Shiro chuckled, taking his cup.

"Booo," Lance called from the couch, his arm around Allura's shoulders. "Don't be a buzzkill, Shiro."

"Ignore him," Shiro said, taking Keith's hand and leading him to the kitchen as Keith waved to Lance. They had to step around Veronica, Matt, and Pidge, who were playing a card game on the floor, making Keith stumble again and laugh. Shiro finally got him to the kitchen, Keith still giggling. Shiro had to wonder if Keith had even ever drank alcohol before.

"Here, drink water instead," Shiro told him, handing him a glass of water. Keith sipped it, not even upset at being cut off. Lance always threw a fit.

"I'm having fun," Keith said, smiling widely.

"That's good," Shiro replied with a chuckle.

"Your friends are nice," Keith said with a sigh. "I'm glad to have met you all. I've never had friends like this before."

Shiro's smile felt painful. "I'm glad you've made friends. And I'm glad you've been having fun."

"Are you having fun?" Keith asked, frowning.

"Yes, of course," Shiro told him. Keith smiled again and wrapped his arms around Shiro's neck, resting his head oh Shiro's shoulder.

"Good," he mumbled, and Shiro's heart melted just a little. 

"All right, I think it's time for bed," Shiro said, putting his arm around Keith's shoulder and leading him to his room. Keith mumbled in protest, but didn't fight him. 

"What about the party?" Keith asked. 

"The party will be over soon, anyway," Shiro told him, opening the door and turning on the light. He helped Keith plop onto bed, taking his devil ears off for him. Keith looked happy to be in bed, despite just protesting leaving the party. He rolled onto his side, getting comfortable. Shiro, who had been sitting on the edge of the bed, stood up, assuming Keith was about to pass out. But Keith's eyes flew open as soon as Shiro stood up. 

"Wait!" he said. "Don't...go yet." He patted the bed next to him. Shiro grinned uncertainly, but got into the bed next to him all the same. Keith lay his head on Shiro's shoulder, looking content. 

"I probably shouldn't have drank so much punch," Keith sighed. "But it was good."

Shiro laughed. "That's Lance for you. He knows how to make them strong and good. Trust me, I've had my fair share."

Keith looked at him. "You barely had any tonight."

"True," Shiro said, rubbing Keith's back. "I just don't get into it anymore. I guess I got a bit partied out my first couple years here. Plus, I wanted to make sure you were okay."

"Hm." Keith laid his head back down. "I think you're the nicest person I ever met."

"Thank you," Shiro chuckled. "You're pretty great too."

"I really mean it," Keith said, a little quietly. "I can see you across the room and feel better. Safer. I've never had that, before. I've never had someone care. And I haven't cared about anyone but myself. But...I see you...and I want you to be happy."

Shiro blinked, caught off guard. "Keith," he said, his stomach fluttering again. "I...." He swallowed. "You...you make me feel safe, too. And you make me happy."

"I'm glad," Keith said, closing his eyes. Within moments, he fell asleep. Shiro couldn't bring himself to move. He kissed the top of Keith head, feeling as if he were on a cloud. There was no better feeling than laying there with Keith in his arms. It was as Keith had said. He felt safe. He felt at home.

* * *

 Shiro woke up, Keith groaning in his arms, light just coming through the bedroom window. 

"Shiro?" Keith groaned, and they both started, realizing that they had been asleep in the bed together. Shiro sat up quickly, jumping out of the bed. 

"Good morning," he said awkwardly, running his fingers through his hair. 

Keith squinted at him. "Did you....stay with me all night?"

"Um...." Shiro laughed nervously. "I guess so."

Keith smiled too. He fell back into the pillows, groaning. "My head is killing me."

"Not surprising," Shiro said, picking up his devil ears from off the floor. He didn't even remember taking them off, or falling asleep. He'd just been so comfortable, laying there with Keith. "Drink a lot of water, and tylenol will help too."

Keith grinned and got out of bed. "Thanks for staying with me."

Shiro smiled. "I didn't mind at all." He took Keith's hand. "Come on, let's get you hydrated."

He led Keith out of the bedroom. Lance and Allura were passed out on one of the couches, Lances arm around Allura as he snored. "How can she sleep?" Keith said with a laugh, but perhaps Allura was used to it, because she was fast asleep. "Wait...Shiro." Keith was staring out the window, his face lighting up. 

It was snowing. 

Keith dragged Shiro to the window, his headache seemingly forgotten. He shoved his shoes on his feet and ran out the front door, leaving it wide open. Shiro chuckled and grabbed his coat, shoving his own shoes on. "Wasgoinon?" Lance slurred, waking with a start, but Shiro just followed Keith out. 

Keith twirled, looking up at the sky, letting the flakes hit his face, smiling widely. It was early morning, and the snow had barely covered the yard. "Do you like the snow?" Shiro asked, as Keith turned around and smiled at him. 

"I did when I was a kid," Keith told him. "I feel like I haven't really cared about it in such a long time. But when I saw the snow falling...it just made me really happy." Keith looked back up at the sky. "I guess now I can remember why I loved it. It's so...pretty. Every year when the snow first fell, my dad would take me out to play. Every year, I'd get more and more excited."

Lance and Allura were peaking out the door now. "Lance, snow!" Allura squealed excitedly, her hair a tangle of curls from the night before. Lance just yawned.

Shiro wrapped his arms around Keith from behind. Keith grabbed Shiro's arms, hugging them. 

"I'm glad you can love the snow again," Shiro told him. 

Keith smiled at him. "I think I know why I do."

The snow fell lightly, flakes clinging to the hair and clothes before melting away. It was cold, but Shiro felt warm with Keith in his arms. 

"Get in here before you guys get sick!" Lance called tiredly, and Shiro and Keith both laughed. Shiro took Keith's hand, and they went back inside. 

Shiro would always look back at that moment and remember it as the moment he realized he was falling in love with Keith. 

 

 

  

 

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is basically just a sick fic xD it was only meant to be part of the chapter, but I guess I got carried away xD 
> 
> <3

* * *

With November came the snow, cold, and an increase in stress, as finals for the fall semester came closer. Shiro, Keith, and their friends started to have less time to hang out and relax, as projects, papers and exams loomed in their future. Halloween always seemed to signify their last big hurrah before winter holidays came. Even Lance seemed to be taking his school work more seriously, stopping over at the house less and spending more time on his assignments. For Shiro, Lance, Hunk and Pidge, this was their last fall semester, and they were feeling the pressure of senior year. The added stress, on top of the weather changing and the excess germs that existed on a college campus, led to Shiro getting sick about a week after Halloween. 

Shiro was actually impressed that it took him this far into the semester to get sick. He'd always had a bad immune system, and although he was a lot healthier than he had been as a kid, he still got sick more often than the average person. He'd felt lucky that he had gone more than two months without getting sick at all. Part of him believed it was because he'd been happy, spending time with Keith, though he wasn't sure if there was any scientific base in that. However, when he started feeling more tired than normal, and the ache in his muscles, he knew that he was coming down with something. He tried to ignore it and will it to go away, but he wasn't that lucky. 

He woke up on a Wednesday morning, feeling utterly terrible. His throat hurt, his head hurt, his whole body hurt, and he was freezing, even though the house was not that cold. He hated to miss out on class this late in the semester, but he knew he wouldn't do himself any good if he tried to force himself to go. He got out of bed, wrapping his blanket around him, and decided to try and see if he could find any medicine in the house. He got sick often enough, but he also went through medicine quickly. 

He ran right into Keith when he stepped out of his room, thanks to his head being foggy with sickness and not paying attention.  

"I'm sorry," he said as Keith caught himself on the hallway wall. 

"It's okay," Keith said with a smile, but his smile vanished when he looked at Shiro. "Are you okay?"

"Do I look that bad?" Shiro chuckled. "I'm fine, I just caught the flu or something. I'm gonna stay home today."

"You're sick?" Keith said, looking incredibly sad. He pressed his hand against Shiro's forehead. "You're burning up! You should get back in bed."

"I will," Shiro said. "I was just going to check and see if we have any medicine."

"I'll check," Keith said at once. "Get back in bed."

"I can-" Shiro started, but Keith cut him off. 

"No, I'll do it." He looked so stern, which was both amusing and incredibly sweet to Shiro. "Get in bed."

"Okay," Shiro sighed, caving. He went back and crawled into bed, shivering slightly. Keith came into his room a few minutes later, looking defeated. 

"Nothing," he said. "I'll have to go get some."

"Don't you have class?" Shiro asked, but Keith merely shrugged. 

"I'm acing English anyway," he said. "Just get some rest, and I'll be back. Pidge and Hunk already left."

"Okay," Shiro said with a small smile. Keith smiled back and left, shutting his door. Shiro got comfortable in his bed, feeling his heart tug, just like it often did when he was with Keith. He would say he was surprised by Keith's determination and worry about his health, but he really wasn't. Keith had nearly thrown a fit when Shiro got a papercut a couple weeks ago. Shiro had never had someone act so protective of him, besides his mother. It was just one of the many things about Keith that made his stomach flutter. 

Shiro must have dozed off, because next thing he knew, Keith was in his room, bags in hand. "Sorry to wake you," he said. He sat the bags down on his dresser, pulling more than just cold medicine out. "So I got tissues, chicken noodle soup, sprite, and daytime and nighttime flu medicine," he said, handing Shiro the medicine bottles. 

"You didn't have to do all that," Shiro said incredulously. 

"Yes I did," Keith replied with a small smile. 

"Why the soup and sprite?" Shiro asked out of curiosity. 

Keith shrugged. "That's what my dad would give me when I was younger. It always helped me."

Shiro smiled. "Thanks." Keith watched him pointedly as he took the medicine, washing it down with sprite. Shiro could still not stop shivering. Keith frowned, looking worried. 

"Scoot over," he said at last, kicking his shoes off. 

"What?" Shiro said, surprised. "I'm- I'm sick though. I don't want to get you sick."

"I don't care."

"I'm all clammy."

"Still don't care."

Shiro sighed and scooted over, allowing Keith to climb into his bed. As much as Shiro hated the idea of Keith getting sick, Keith's warmth and arm around him also made him feel automatically a bit better. He snuggled up closely, resting his head on Keith's shoulder. 

"Better?" Keith asked. 

"Mm-hm," Shiro answered. "You really didn't have to do all this. I get sick a lot, so I'm pretty used to it."

"I wanted to," Keith answered, his fingers gently stroking Shiro's hair. "I...I can't stand to see you hurt, or sick, or upset. I just...I just want you to be happy. When you're happy, it makes me happy."

Surely Shiro's heart would explode. 

"I'm happy right now, even if I'm sick," Shiro told him, and Keith kissed the top of his head. 

"Good," he replied. "Try to get some sleep. You'll feel better."

Shiro closed his eyes, feeling much more comfortable and warm with Keith there with him. He drifted off to sleep easily, Keith's arms around him. 

* * *

When Shiro woke up again, he was disappointed to find that Keith was no longer in bed with him. He found his phone and saw that it was already four in the afternoon; he'd been asleep for hours. He did have a message from Keith, letting him know that he would be home soon. He also had a message from Romelle, letting him know he had the sweetest boyfriend ever. Shiro smiled, though he wondered why she'd sent it. 

He still felt like crap even after sleeping. Not only did he get sick more often than most people, but he also had a hard time getting over his sickness. Sometimes it could take him two or three weeks to really start to feel normal again. He hoped it wasn't the case this time. Not only was it a terrible time to be sick, but he also wasn't sure if Keith would be able to handle him being sick for so long. 

Keith returned about a half hour later, his school bag in hand. "Hey," he said, smiling when he saw Shiro was awake. "Sorry I was gone so long."

"No worries," Shiro said, sitting up. "I just woke up a little bit ago."

"Good," Keith replied. He sat down on the bed, and pulled some papers out of his bag. "Here are the notes you missed from class today."

Shiro took the papers, feeling stunned. "How'd you get these?"

"I asked Romelle for help," Keith replied. "Though she hugged me for like two minutes when I told her what I was trying to do. Anyway, we tracked down a couple of your classmates and they let us make copies for you. I got their emails too, so if you miss any more days, they said they'd email you any more notes you miss."

Shiro hadn't even asked Keith to do this; he'd taken it upon himself. "Keith," Shiro said, feeling like he could cry or just kiss him. No wonder Romelle had sent that text. "I don't know how you can be so good to me."

Keith frowned. "What do you mean? Why wouldn't I be?"

Shiro chuckled. "Most people aren't as considerate. My last boyfriend...."

His voice trailed off. He'd never told Keith about Adam before. It was still hard for him to talk about Adam, because he had loved so much. Adam had been Shiro's first love, after all. 

"What about him?" Keith asked, looking curious. 

Shiro sighed. He'd have to tell him about Adam sooner or later, anyway. "I met him my freshman year, the same year I met Lance, and Hunk and Pidge," Shiro told him. "I fell pretty hard for him. He was a year older than me, and he was really kind. He helped me find my way to class one day I got lost." Shiro couldn't help but smile at the memory. "We dated for two years. It started out great, but...I don't know. We started to grow apart as more time went on. I was getting less about partying, but he always wanted to go out. His friends were big partiers. And then when I would get sick, I felt like I was burden to him. I don't know what really happened, but I guess we just weren't right together. Eventually we broke it off, but I...I was still pretty upset about it. He was the first person I'd ever loved, and it was hard to let him go. He's moved away, now."

They were silent for a moment, Keith fidgeting with Shiro's blankets. "You could never be a burden to me," Keith said at last, looking back up at Shiro. 

Shiro smiled, hoping with his entire heart that Keith's words were true. Shiro had felt like a burden all his life, after all. He'd felt like a burden to his parents, especially his father, always looking at him with disappointment. He'd been a burden to Adam, always holding him back or ruining their plans when he came down with something. He'd even seen the disappointment in his friend's eyes. He'd never seen it in Keith's eyes, though. Not yet. But Keith also hadn't known him as long as the others had. Adam hadn't been that way at first, either. 

"Hey." Keith scooted closer, putting his hand on Shiro's face and wiping away a stray tear that had fallen. "I promise, Shiro. You'll never be a burden to me. You have no idea what you mean to me. I know I've only known you a couple months, but...it's like I found something I'd always been missing, when I met you. Your smile was like a light in the darkness. You...you made me believe in life again, as stupid as that sounds. I had been trying so hard to find a reason to keep living, and keep fighting, and you gave that to me. I was nothing, no one. And...you made me someone. And you reminded me of what it meant to care about someone."

His words just made Shiro cry more. Keith pulled him into his arms, and Shiro held on to him tightly. Shiro hadn't been unhappy, exactly, before he met Keith. But he'd definitely felt lonely, in a weird sense. Even with his friends around him, he had felt like a part of him was missing. But there with Keith, he felt finally felt like he was whole again. 

"Thank you for being here with me," Shiro whispered, his head on Keith's shoulder. "You've given me something I've been missing, as well."

Keith just held him tightly, and Shiro's tears finally stopped. He fell asleep in Keith's arms again, Keith stroking his hair softly. 

Keith stayed by his side the next three days as Shiro got over the worst of the illness. He made Shiro soup and bought him a whole case of sprite. He sat with Shiro in the bathroom when Shiro threw up the chicken noodle soup, hushing him for apologizing as he rubbed his back. He held Shiro every night, and took to telling him stories about his childhood, or reading to him from a book off Shiro's shelf, or putting a movie in Shiro's laptop. And never once did Keith seem to mind. He even seemed happy to be there, though he did get quite worried and begged Shiro to let him take him to the hospital at one point. Shiro, who was used to being sick, told him he was fine, but it didn't stop Keith from worrying. Finally, that weekend, Shiro started to feel better, his fever and nausea having passed. Keith was still fussy over him, though. 

"I just want to get a book from the library," Shiro told him, putting on his shoes. It was Sunday morning, and Shiro finally felt well enough to get up and do something. He'd been going a bit stir crazy.  

"I told you I could go," Keith argued. Pidge and Hunk were sitting on the couch, looking amused. "You shouldn't push yourself."

"It's just the library," Shiro chuckled. "It'll only take like 30 minutes. Plus, I could use the fresh air after being stuck here for days."

"You're still pale," Keith said. 

"Because I haven't gotten any sunlight!" Shiro replied. 

"It's not even sunny!" Keith said in frustration. "It's snowy and cold."

"But you love the snow."

Keith sighed exasperatedly. "You're not going to win, Keith," Hunk told him. "He's stubborn."

Shiro grinned. "You can come with me," Shiro said, and Keith rolled his eyes. 

"Of course I am," he said, slipping into his shoes and coat. He followed Shiro outside. The air was very cold, but it felt great in Shiro's lungs. He smiled at Keith, who couldn't help but to smile back. 

"I'm glad you're feeling better," Keith said, shaking his head but smiling. 

"All thanks to you," Shiro told him. "Thank you, seriously. I hope you don't end up sick, though."

Keith shrugged. "It'll be worth it even if I do. But I won't mind anyway. As long as you are better, so am I."

Keith got into his car, and Shiro followed, unable to get the smile off of his face. 

 

 

 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a bit long, but I didn’t have a good breaking point ^^

The snow was there to stay as the month of November passed. Keith barely had the time to enjoy it, though. Between school and work, he felt like he barely had time to even see Shiro. Every class had some sort of big final paper coming up, aside from his math class, though he had procrastinated on his homework assignments, so it felt like he had a whole project to do. The diner had been getting busier as well, and as Keith now how bills to help pay, he always went in when they called and needed extra help. Veronica had even started training him on waiting on tables, they were so desperate for help on the floor. He was awful at it, though. He was still very socially awkward around people, and he could feel people staring at the scar on his face, making him even more self conscious. 

Though Shiro's health had improved, Keith found himself worrying about Shiro more often. He knew how stressed Shiro was getting with his classes, plus his library shifts, and Keith didn't want him to end up sick again. It had taken Shiro long enough to really recover. Keith would be happy to never see Shiro sick ever again. He was making sure to remind Shiro to eat and get enough sleep. Keith couldn't take his own advice, though. He felt like he was barely sleeping three hours a night, and some times he completely forgot to eat. Luckily Hunk had been amazing in stocking the fridge with soups on the weekends, and they were warm and delicious after a long day of class and work. 

Thankfully, they had a small break in the chaos thanks to Thanksgiving weekend. Both Pidge and Hunk were going home to their families for the weekend. Shiro explained that he usually went to Lance's family's place for the holiday, since it was too hard to fly to LA for such a short visit. But this year, he opted to stay at the house with Keith, where they would be able to spend the Thanksgiving Holiday alone, together. 

Keith was both nervous and excited to have a whole four day weekend alone with Shiro. They hadn't really had time alone together ever, so he wasn't sure what they would do or how they would spend it. But it also sounded amazing to be able to spend time with him without any interruptions. They'd been so busy lately, sometimes they were lucky to even say good morning and good night. 

Hunk and Pidge both left that Wednesday, once classes were finished. Hunk hugged them both and let them know he made an extra serving of his soup for them, worried that they were going to starve to death while he was gone. Pidge even gave them both a hug before she left, also reminding them to stay out of her room and not touch any of her things while she was gone. Lance and Allura stopped in on their way out of town as well. Lance was nervous, because it was his first time taking Allura home for a holiday. He begged Shiro and Keith to go with him, but Shiro told him no flat out, making Lance sulk out, Allura waving happily at them. 

And finally, the house was quiet, and they were alone. Keith and Shiro just looked at each other uncertainly, not sure of what to do with themselves. 

"So, what should we do?" Keith asked. 

"Well, I was going to catch up on my chores since I've been slacking," Shiro said, grinning embarrassedly. 

"Of course you would," Keith said with a smile. "I should, too."

Shiro disappeared into the kitchen. Keith wandered to his room, deciding he might as well start there. He'd been picking up things for his room here and there since he'd moved into the house, so he actually had enough things in his room now that it needed tidying. Especially with his schoolbooks and assignments thrown everywhere. He went ahead and started to pick up, gathering things that needed to be put in the laundry. He ended up zoning out a bit, wondering how they were going to spend the weekend. He hoped they didn't up just working on cleaning all weekend. He wanted to really spend time with Shiro, but at the same time, wasn't really sure what to do. Most of the time he and Shiro had spent together had been working together in the library, or walking around campus. They hadn't really had a chance to be together outside of their school life. For some reason, it made Keith nervous. What if Shiro didn't want to spend time with him? Maybe where they went to school was all they had in common. 

Keith tried not to think about that as he threw his dirty laundry in the washing machine. He went back to his room, which was basically already clean. He sat down on the bed, wondering if perhaps he should work on school assignments. He noticed something sticking out from under his bed, and reached down to pick it up.

His heart tightened in his chest, and a small, sad smile came to his face. It was the only photograph he owned. It was of him and his father, when he was about eight or so. He had his arms around his dad's neck, and they were both laughing. He couldn't remember where the photo had been taken, but he liked to know that he and his dad had been happy, wherever they were. He wished he could remember when the photo was taken. He hadn't even ever seen it, until after his dad died. Most of the things in their home had been destroyed by the fire, but one of the firefighters had pulled this photo out and given it to him. The left edge was seared slightly, and it was a bit aged and worn down. He'd kept it with him always. It had been the only thing he'd kept with him all these years.

"What are you looking at?" Shiro asked, making Keith jump. He was leaning in the doorway, watching him.

"Oh- just...a photo," Keith replied and Shiro stepped in his room to take a look. "Of me and my dad."

He handed the photo to Shiro, who took it. He smiled. "You look a lot like him," he told Keith, and that made Keith happy. "And you were cute as a kid. Your hair has always been wild."

Keith grinned as he took the photo back. "This is the only picture I have," he told Shiro. "It's the only thing I have from my life before my dad died. I keep meaning to get a frame or something for it, but I never have." He sat the photo down on his nightstand, propping it up against his lamp. He felt Shiro take his hand, squeezing it. Keith smiled at him appreciatively. Sometimes Shiro's hand in his was all he needed. 

"Do you want to go somewhere?" Shiro asked him, his hand still in Keith's. 

"Where?" Keith asked. 

Shiro shrugged. "Anywhere. I just feel like getting out for a bit."

Keith smiled. "Sure." He would go anywhere with Shiro, and getting out of the house with him sounded amazing. 

* * *

Snow covered the ground, but luckily the roads were pretty clear. Keith stared out the window as Shiro drove, enjoying the scenery and the music blaring from the radio. They drove all the way back to the city, which was about thirty minutes from the town they lived in. It was strange for Keith, being back there, especially with Shiro. He'd spent eighteen years living there, but he didn't really have any fondness for the city. He'd stayed away since he left, happy to not have to be there anymore, even if he was only a few miles away.

They stopped and got coffee downtown, and decided to walk along the dock. The water of Lake Erie hadn't frozen yet, like it would soon. It was cold as could be, but still beautiful. Shiro had his arm in Keith's as they walked side by side, sipping their coffees and taking selfies. They had fun taking photos of one another, posing with the gray water and bright white snow behind them. They climbed up the Bicentennial Tower, which gave them a view of both the lake and the city. Keith had never gone down to the dock nor climbed the tower, not even when he was younger, and he found himself having a lot of fun. He'd never really had a chance to enjoy the city he grew up in. He almost felt like a tourist, but he didn't care. Shiro seemed to be enjoying himself as well, a warm smile never leaving his face.

Keith had been so worried at the idea of spending time out with Shiro, but he needn't have worried. He loved Shiro, and that didn't change even though they were away from school. 

Keith stopped, his cheeks getting warm. Shiro looked at him questioningly. 

He _loved_ Shiro?

He hadn't really thought about it. He knew that he liked Shiro, and he wanted to be around him. He wanted to make him happy and help him feel better and see him do well. He wanted Shiro to hold his hand and kiss his forehead and hold him as he fell asleep. 

Was that what it meant, to love someone? 

"Keith?" Shiro asked, and Keith had to remember where they were. The cold air slapped him in the face, waking him up a bit. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," Keith said quickly. He wasn't sure if Shiro loved him, too. Was he supposed to tell Shiro how he felt? What if Shiro really didn't feel the same way? That would be embarrassing. He should probably just keep it to himself. Keith had never had this happen before. He'd never even had a chance to think about falling in love with someone. 

Shiro smiled at him again and took his hand, making their way back down the tower. "We should probably head back to the car," Shiro told him. "It's getting pretty cold, and it's getting dark."

It was almost dark, the streetlights just starting to come on. Keith hadn't realized how much time had passed. They made their way up the city street, hand in hand. There weren't many others out, due to the cold temperature and holiday on the horizon. Keith allowed himself to rest his head on Shiro's shoulder as they walked. He felt warm despite the cold. 

He did love Shiro. He'd been falling in love with Shiro since they first met, little by little. Every day he loved him a little bit more. 

"Kogane!"

Keith's warmth suddenly vanished. He froze, Shiro looking around in interest. Keith didn't need to look to know that voice. He'd heard it many times before, over the years. 

"Who was that?" Shiro asked, and Keith pulled him, walking as quickly as he could. 

"Don't look," Keith said firmly, holding onto Shiro's hand tightly. Keith stole a glance over his shoulder. He could see three people on the other side of the road a few buildings down behind them. They stood still, watching him. He turned back around, pulling Shiro along. They didn't seem to be following, but Keith didn't want to chance it. His heart felt like it was stuck in his throat, and he wanted Shiro to walk faster. 

"What's going on?" Shiro asked, looking scared. 

"Just get to the car, Shiro," Keith said, trying to keep calm and failing miserably. Finally they made it to Shiro's car. Keith got in quickly, slamming the door behind him. "Just go!" he urged Shiro, who's hand shook as he started the car and pulled off onto the road. 

Keith looked back. The three figures were still there, getting smaller and smaller as they drove away. Keith breathed a sigh of relief, closing his eyes. He felt nauseous. Of all the people in this city that he could've seen...

"What happened back there?" Shiro asked, gripping the steering wheel tightly. 

Keith didn't answer for a moment. He didn't want to tell Shiro, but he knew he owed him the truth. He took a few steadying breaths, trying to calm himself enough to speak. 

"Those guys," Keith started, looking out the window. "I...I've known them for a while. At least I've known one of them for a while. I could recognize his voice anywhere." Keith sighed. "I told you, when I was younger I was stupid. I got into fights a lot. One of the worst fights I ever got into was with him. His name is Zachery. We went to the same middle school, and high school too, when we were there. Anyway, when I was like, fifteen...." Keith's voice trailed off, but he forced himself to continue. "When I was fifteen, he said some stupid shit to me. I was in a bad place, and we'd never liked each other. I ended up fighting him. I...it was pretty bad. I got arrested for the first time."

Keith looked down at his hands. He could remember the blood, the way they ached. "After that day he really hated me, mostly because I'd 'won'. Though I can't really call it winning. I tried to avoid him after that, especially after I had gotten arrested. I didn't get detained that time, but...it sort of led to the time I ended up in juvie. The fighting did, at least. He was in there the same time that I was, though he was in longer than I was. He loved trying to set me off, get me in trouble. He wanted to make me pay for that stupid fight, even all that time later. But I never gave into his taunts. Not anymore." He clenched his fists. "I haven't seen him since juvie. I'd like to believe that maybe he's moved past what happened, but...."

"You don't think he has," Shiro answered. 

"No," Keith replied. 

"So...." Shiro was still staring straight ahead. "Do you think he would have tried something, just now?"

"Maybe," Keith said truthfully. "I...I didn't expect to see him. I was hoping to never see him again. And...I just wanted to get out of there before he had the chance. Especially with you...."

Keith felt sick again. He would have never forgiven himself if something had happened to Shiro, because of something he'd caused. 

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "You should just stop and let me go."

"Go where?" Shiro asked. He looked almost angry, and Keith didn't like it. 

"Just stop the car," Keith told him. "I'll go."

"Go _where_?" Shiro said again. 

"I don't know!" Keith yelled. "But I shouldn't be here with you. They- they could have hurt you, and it's my fault-"

"Keith." Shiro stopped the car on the side of the road, snow falling lightly on the dark, empty streets. "Keith, breathe. It's okay. Nothing happened."

"But...." Hot tears fell down his face. "B-but it could have-"

"Keith," Shiro said again, grabbing his hand. "Look at me. It's okay. We're okay. We're going to go home, far from here, and we'll be fine. Okay? And I'm not letting you go."

Keith didnt say anything, his tears still falling. Shiro sighed, keeping his hand in Keith's as he got back out onto the road. They drove the rest of the way home in silence. They had been having so much fun. Keith had been daydreaming about how much he loved Shiro. And then, just like that, his life came back to haunt him. 

Living with Shiro these past couple months had been like a dream come true. He'd been having fun, making friends, and falling in love. He'd been able to forget about the horror that had been his life. He didn't have to worry about the nights he laid awake in a locked cell. He didn't have to think about the blood on his hands after he hit someone. He'd been able to push it all away, like it was a chapter he had finished reading. 

But his past wasn't that easy to forget. Not when people like Zachery still existed, and still remembered what he had done. 

He couldn't erase it, forget it or hide it. It was part of who he was. 

He looked sideways at Shiro. Shiro, who's heart was full of love and caring. Shiro had probably never hit anyone in his life. Shiro deserved good people in his life, people who would never bring him any harm. 

Would Keith be able to be that person?

Or was he just selfish, for wanting Shiro's love?

Shiro had told him he was a good person, but was he really?

They arrived home. Keith got out of the car without a word. He walked up the front steps, hearing Shiro close behind him. "Keith," Shiro said as they walked into the house, Keith not even bothering to take off his shoes, wanting to escape to his room. "Keith!" Shiro said more forcefully, grabbing his arm and making him stop. "Please. Just...can we talk?"

Keith didn't want to talk. But at the same time, he wanted Shiro's comfort more than anything. 

Maybe he was selfish. 

Shiro forced him to sit down on the couch. Keith finally looked at him, expecting Shiro to be angry. But he just looked sad. 

"Tell me what you're thinking," Shiro told him. "And don't lie to me."

Keith felt like he had a knife stuck in his heart. "I don't think that I'm good for you," he whispered. "I'm afraid that, because of the things I've done...I don't...." _He didn't deserve to love Shiro_. 

"Keith," Shiro whispered, reaching out to him, his hand falling short. "It's not like I didn't know that you'd been in fights, or been locked up."

"They could have hurt you," Keith said, pushing the knife in his heart deeper. 

"But they didn't," Shiro reminded him. "They didn't even try to follow us and they had the opportunity. Maybe...maybe he doesn't hold a grudge anymore, after all."

Keith would love for that to be true, but he didn't believe it. 

"Look," Shiro said, scooting closer and taking both of Keith's hands. "I don't care, okay? I don't care if you punched him. From what you've told me, he provoked you. And I think anyone in your situation would have been angry, and lashed out. I can't even imagine." He squeezed Keith's hands. "And you said that you learned to ignore him, and not give into his inciting. Do you know what that says about you, Keith? It says that you've grown. It says that you are trying to be better. And you _are_. I've already told you, and I'll keep telling you if I have to. You _are_ good for me."

Shiro pulled him into his arms, and Keith was unable to say anything. He wanted to be good for Shiro. He wanted to be good for Shiro just like Shiro had been good for him. He did feel a little bit better being back at the house, Shiro's arms around him. It was familiar, and safe. 

Zachery's voice had been familiar too, and anything but safe. 

Keith went to bed alone that night. Shiro wanted to come lay with him, but Keith told him he needed time alone. He lay on his back and stared at the ceiling, his thoughts not letting him rest. His brain was confused, stuck between is love and desire to be close to Shiro, and his fear of his own past coming back to haunt him. Was it really possible to start over? Was it possible that he and Shiro could be happy together? Other people were able to escape their pasts, and start over. He'd heard all the motivational speeches and success stories when he was back in juvie. It had been what made him hold on to that scrap of hope, that desire to do better and be better. 

His past wasn't going to go away, no matter what he did. 

He thought of Shiro, the way his smile lit up Keith's heart. 

Keith got out of bed and made his way to Shiro's room. He knocked, peeking in the door. Shiro was awake despite the late hour, reading a book. He looked up at Keith. 

"Can...can I lay with you?" Keith asked him nervously. 

Shiro's face softened into a smile, and he moved over to make room. Keith climbed into the bed, Shiro pulling him close. "Are you feeling better?" Shiro asked him, pressing a kiss to his forehead. 

"I don't know," Keith replied honestly. "I just want to be with you."

Shiro hugged him tightly. "I can tell you over and over how good you are, and how much you mean to me," he said . "But you need to learn to forgive yourself, Keith."

Keith thought about Shiro's words. It sounded easier said than done. He'd believed in himself so little for so long. It was true that he regretted the things he had done, and wanted to be better. 

Was that enough to forgive himself?

"I want to," he told Shiro. 

Shiro smiled. "You'll get there. Just keep trying. And I'll keep reminding you."

Keith left himself relax in Shiro's arms. Maybe he would get there. Maybe not today, but someday soon.

He fell asleep in Shiro's arms. 

 

* * *

The next day was Thanksgiving. Keith and Shiro decided to spend the day being lazy, sitting on the couch together and watching TV. They watched the Thanksgiving Day parade on TV, while drinking coffee. Shiro pulled out his photo album and started showing pictures to Keith. He had pictures of him and his parents from when they was little. His father looked a bit scary even in a photograph, and his mother was very pretty, always smiling. She definitely reminded Keith more of Shiro than his father did. Shiro also had a lot of pictures from his first few semesters of college. It was funny to see how much he had changed in a couple years. The others had changed a lot too, especially Pidge- Keith was amazed to see her with long hair. Shiro had a few pictures with Adam still, and he tried to rush past them, but Keith found he didn't mind seeing them. It was a little weird to see Shiro with someone else, looking so happy. It also made him a little sad, to think two people could be so happy in a moment but end up not even speaking. 

Their dinner was nothing too fancy. They heated up some of Hunk's soup, and paired it with some bread they'd picked up at the bakery. It wasn't a feast of any kind, but it was the best Thanksgiving dinner he'd had in a long time. By the time dinner was over, Keith found himself feeling much better. Shiro had done an excellent job of distracting him for the day. Keith felt a little bit of that hope coming back in his heart. Maybe Shiro really was right. Keith was still afraid of all the _what ifs_. But all he could do now was to keep trying, to keep doing his best, and then maybe, someday, he _would_ be able to forgive himself. 

At least he had someone to help him along the way.

"Shiro," he said, as they sat on the couch, full from the soup. "Thank you."

Shiro smiled. "You're welcome, though I don't know what I did."

Keith smiled. "When I was in the group home, they use to make us say something we were thankful for on Thanksgiving. I could never find anything to be thankful for. But this year, I know. I'm...I'm thankful for you."

Shiro leaned in and kissed him. "I'm thankful for _you_ ," he replied. "I'm thankful for every moment we've had together. Every moment, good, bad, and in between."

Keith couldn't contain the words in his heart any longer. He was scared, but he needed to say it. "Shiro," he whispered, inches away from him. "I...I think I'm falling in love with you."

Shiro stared at him for a moment, and Keith was worried that he was scared, or upset or something. But Shiro smiled, kissing him again. 

"I think I already have fallen in love with you," he admitted shyly, and Keith looked at him, smiling widely. 

It was the best feeling he'd ever felt in his life.

To love someone, and be loved in return. 

 

 

 

 


	9. Chapter 9

Keith left his final exam for the semester, feeling completely liberated, and also exhausted. The stress of finals was finally over, and they would have a whole month of vacation before they would have to return for the spring semester. Sleeping for an entire month sounded wonderful to Keith, with the lack of sleep and all the overworking he'd been doing. Unfortunately, he'd picked up a lot of shifts at the diner, so his vacation wouldn't be super relaxing. But at least he'd have a whole month to hang out with Shiro and their friends, and that made it so much better. 

As soon as Keith stepped outside of the building after his exam, a snowball hit the side of his head, leaving his hair full of snow. He turned to see Lance laughing, Shiro shaking his head apologetically. Keith grinned and scooped up a snowball of his own, hitting Lance right in the chest. 

"I don't really think this is the best place to have a snowball fight," Shiro chuckled as Lance threw another snowball at Keith, missing him by an inch. 

"Why not?" Lance replied as he darted behind Shiro to protect himself. "The semester is over! We survived!"

"And you're both going to get my car dripping wet," Shiro said, folding his arms. A second later a snowball hit him in the shoulder, Keith laughing and covering his mouth. 

"I'm sorry Shiro!" he laughed. "I meant to hit Lance."

Shiro sighed, grinned, and scooped up his own snowball, hitting Keith in the chest. And so they ran around like children for a good few minutes, laughing like idiots as they threw snowballs at one another. Keith couldn't remember the last time he'd had a good snowball fight, and it just made him feel even more liberated. Finally they each surrendered, wet and freezing, and gathered their things, heading to Shiro's car. They had decided to decorate the house for Christmas today, to celebrate the semester bring over. They arrived home, changing into dry clothes and arguing about who had won the snowball fight. Hunk had already pulled out their Christmas decorations, boxes all over the living room. 

"Why do you have so much?" Keith laughed as he looked into the boxes. 

"Because it's Christmas!" Hunk replied happily, already wearing a Christmas sweater. 

"Christmas is his thing," Pidge replied from behind her computer. 

"Oh come on Pidge, you promised you'd help!" Hunk pouted. 

She sighed and shut her computer. "I never want to hear you say I'm a bad friend."

"You're a wonderful friend," he replied, beaming. 

"This calls for punch," Lance said, and ran into the kitchen. Within minutes they each had a cup of punch- Keith had learned his lesson last time, and drank much more slowly- and started to pull out the decorations. He usually hated Christmas. It had always reminded him of his father, and it was one of the times of year where Keith really missed him. But perhaps it was the high of finishing the semester, or the good company, but Keith found himself having fun as he helped them put up the tree. He laughed when Lance got himself tangled in the lights, listened to Pidge explain her ornaments on the tree that she'd collected over the years, and ate the Christmas cookies Hunk provided them. Shiro placed a Santa hat on his head, smiling widely, and Keith didn't even take it off. 

It took them a couple hours, especially once they made their way outside to string lights around the porch and window, but the house looked incredibly festive by the time they were done. "I want to watch Christmas movies now," Hunk said happily as they looked up at the house together from the lawn. 

"It's like, 3 weeks until Christmas still," Pidge reminded him and she headed back inside. "We have plenty of time."

"There's a lot of Christmas movies!" Hunk called after her, following her inside. 

"Ahhh, I love you guys," Lance said, slinging an arm around Keith and Shiro both. "You guys are my best friends."

"I think he had too much punch," Keith told Shiro, and Shiro laughed. 

"You just didn't have enough," Lance said with a grin. 

"Let's get you home, buddy," Shiro said, patting his back. "Decorations are all up, and I'm sure Allura misses you."

"Allura!" Lance said excitedly. "Is she here?"

Keith rolled his eyes. "You get the keys, I'll get him in the car."

Lance was singing Christmas songs the whole way home, sprawled out on Shiro's back seat. Allura's apartment wasn't far, and Keith texted her before they got there so she could expect them. She was waiting outside when they arrived, looking amused as Lance stumbled into her arms. "Thank you for bringing him home," she said, smiling at Keith and Shiro. 

"Of course," Shiro replied with a grin. "Thanks for your help, Lance."

"I love you Shiro," Lance replied. "I love you too, Keith. And of course you too, Allura."

"Yes, you love everyone," she told him, waving as she took him inside. Keith got back into Shiro's car, grinning. Today had been a good day. 

"Shiro," he said when Shiro got in and started the car. "What do you want for Christmas?"

"Hm." Shiro was quiet for a few moments. "I haven't really thought about it. I haven't even gotten any gifts yet myself, with how busy we've been. I don't know- just surprise me."

"Thanks for the help," Keith said with a grin. 

"Well then, what do you want?" Shiro asked. 

"Um...." Keith hadn't thought about it either. It was weird to think about, Christmas presents. He was excited to get gifts for Shiro and his friends, but he hadn't really thought about getting gifts himself. "Surprise me?"

Shiro grinned. "Thanks for the help."

Keith looked out the window, thinking about what he could get Shiro. He wanted to get something special. Shiro was the most important person to him. He wanted to get him a gift that meant something. He thought it would be easy- he knew how much he cared about Shiro. Loving Shiro was easy enough. But his mind was completely blank on what to get him. When they got home, Hunk did indeed have Christmas movies on, Pidge sitting with her computer and headphones in. Shiro and Keith joined them, Shiro putting his arm around Keith and pulling him in close, pressing a kiss to his temple. Keith was pretty sure it had to be one of the best days of his life. 

* * *

 Keith woke up the next morning in Shiro's room, Shiro still sound asleep next to him. Keith found his phone, checking the time. It was barely after seven, and he didn't have any classes or work to worry about today. It was a good feeling to not have to stress about anything. He scrolled on his phone for a bit, thinking again about what he could possibly get Shiro for Christmas. He thought back to the first day they met, in the library, and how awkward it had been. It brought a smile to his face. How quickly things had changed. His eyes travelled to Shiro's bookshelf, and suddenly, it made perfect sense. He looked back at his phone and started researching local bookstores. 

"Good morning," Shiro yawned, and Keith dropped his phone. "Did I scare you?" Shiro laughed. 

"No," Keith said, though he had. "Good morning."

"Do you work today?" Shiro asked, and Keith shook his head. "Good. We should go out for breakfast or something."

Keith smiled. "Sounds good to me."

Once Hunk and Pidge were awake enough to function, the four of them got into Shiro's car and drove to the only other restaurant that wasn't Sara's diner in town. (Keith had enough of Sara's lately.) Keith continued to research on his phone, even sneaking away from the table at one point to call a bookseller in the city. He was finally able to find what he was looking for, though it was downtown in the city, and he'd have to escape there without Shiro. He let the bookseller know he would be by some time today, and went back to his breakfast, Shiro watching him with an eyebrow raised. 

"Lance is mad we didn't invite him," Pidge announced, scrolling on her phone. 

"I wasn't sure if he'd even be awake," Shiro chuckled. 

"Same," she replied. "But now he wants us to bring him pancakes to make up for it. We should probably get some for Allura too, since you know he won't share."

"Do you mind dropping me off at home on the way?" Keith asked. 

Shiro looked at him. "Why? You're being a bit secretive today."

"No reason," Keith said nonchalantly. "I just have something I need to do."

"That's not secretive at all," Hunk said. 

"Please?" Keith asked Shiro. "I just...have an errand is all."

Shiro still looked curious, but said, "Okay, sure." Keith breathed a sigh of relief. He didn't want to spoil Shiro's gift. 

After they dropped him off, Keith got into his car and typed the bookstore's address into his phone. It wasn't far from the cafe that he and Shiro had went to right before Thanksgiving. He wasn't too keen on the idea of going back downtown after what had happened last time, but he also really wanted to get this book for Shiro. So, he left, swallowing his fear. The chances of actually seeing Zachery again were probably very minuscule anyway. Right?

It took him a little over thirty minutes to get to the bookshop. It was a small place, tucked on a side street off of the main city street that led to the dock. The shop itself was cramped and overfilled with books. He wondered if Shiro had ever been in there before. 

"Hello," the shop owner, and old man with a crooked smile, said to him. 

"Hello, my name is Keith," Keith said awkwardly. "We talked on the phone?"

"Oh yes," the bookseller said, beckoning Keith to follow him. "I have your book set aside at the counter here." He went behind the counter and pulled out an old book. "1984, first edition. I've had this for a while, I'm surprised it hasn't sold sooner. People don't love books as much as they used to, you know. Got their fancy tablets now. Ignoring the fine history books like this hold."

"Uh, yeah," Keith said with a laugh. "Well, the person I'm buying this for loves books, and this book is special to us in a weird way, so...." He really hated talking to people he didn't know. "How much?"

"One hundred," the old man said rather proud. 

"Dollars?" Keith asked incredulously. 

"Of course dollars," the old man snapped back. "First edition, like you wanted, yes? A rare one! I could sell it for more on the internet if I wanted."

Keith sighed. "Okay, okay." He pulled out his wallet. He luckily had enough on him, and at least he had picked up the extra hours at the diner. He handed the man his money, and the bookseller counted it and checked each bill very obviously. 

"Alll right, son," the old man said, opening the cash register. "I hope your friend is very happy. Make sure it's treated well."

"It will be," Keith said, feeling strangely excited as the man bagged the book and handed it over. He had successfully bought his first Christmas present. He was a bit nervous that Shiro would think it was a silly idea. He supposed he could have bought any copy of the book, but it also felt more special to find a rare copy. The book could forever sit on Shiro's shelf, a reminder of the first day they met in the library. The day that had changed Keith's life forever. 

He was feeling rather giddy as he made his way back to his car. He wasn't even paying attention, thinking about Shiro and what his reaction might be when Keith gave him the book. He nearly ran not someone, starling himself. He was even more startled when he looked up and saw who that someone was. 

"Hello, Kogane," Zachery said, advancing on him. 

"Zachery," Keith replied carefully, stepping back and noticing Zachery's friends were behind him. He was cornered, aside from the alley next to him, though he wasn't sure if he'd be able to escape that way or not. His whole body felt strung, ready. He couldn't get into a fight, not now. Nothing good had ever come of it, and he was trying so hard to be better. He'd have to try to talk his way out, or escape before Zachery could do anything. However, he was also out numbered, so his odds of escaping unscathed were low. It was the middle of the day, but there were barely any people out, probably due to the cold.

"Why so nervous?" Zachery said with a grin. "Can't two old friends talk?"

"I didn't know we were friends," Keith replied, narrowing his eyes.

He didn't like the smile on Zachery's face. He'd seen it before. It told him that Zachery had not forgotten anything that had happened between them.

"Aw, is that why you and your little boyfriend ran away the other day?" Zachery asked, and Keith's heart plummeted. "I just wanna talk."

Keith took a few more steps back, into the alley. It might be his only option. At least he was a quick runner. "We don't have anything to talk about," Keith told him. "I just want to be on my way. I'm busy." He shoved the bag with Shiro's book into his pocket. 

"We'll talk if I say so," Zachery told him, and Keith turned, ready to run. He made it about halfway down the alley. He was fast, but so was Zachery's friend. He was also strong.  He caught Keith by the arm and swung him into the side of the building. Keith's head made contact with the brick with a jolt of pain, causing him to crumple to the ground. His head was spinning dangerously, and he felt a trickle of blood roll down his face. He blinked rapidly, trying to get his vision to clear, but everything was moving. 

"Fucking loser," Zachery laughed, as his other friend pulled Keith up and tossed him into the middle of the alley. Zachery kicked him hard in the side, to roll him onto his back, adding to the pain he already felt in his head. This was bad. He should have been paying more attention to his surroundings. He should have tried to run sooner. He knew better-

"What happened to the old Kogane?" Zachery asked, pacing back and forth, making Keith's dizziness worse. "At least he fucking stood up. What's become of you? Gone soft?"

There were black spots on his vision. He couldn't pass out. He had to try and do something, or otherwise-

He felt the book in his pocket, Shiro's perfect Christmas present, and felt his throat tighten. 

"Hey!" Another voice, and unfamiliar one, came from someone Keith couldn't see. 

"Oh shit!" Zachery yelled, and in a second, he and the others were gone, escaping down the alley. Keith sighed a breath of relief, and let the darkness overtake him. 

* * *

 When he came too, a paramedic was leaning over him. 

He was still in the alley, the pain, coldness and memories hitting him like a truck. He tried to sit up, but the paramedic kept a firm hand on his shoulder. It took him a second to realize she was talking to him. 

"You're alright," she was saying. "Can you tell me your name?"

"Keith," he said, his head spinning again. "Keith Kogane."

"Good. Do you know what year it is?"

"2018," he said, a but impatiently. He just wanted to get out of there. "I'm sure I'm fine-"

"Let us decide that," the paramedic told him. "You were unconscious for several minutes, and looks like you got a pretty nasty hit on your head. Do you remember what happened?"

"Um....." He looked away. "Some...guys jumped me."

"Okay," the paramedic said calmly. "We're going to take you to the hospital and get you checked out."

"You d-don't need to do that," he said at once, trying to sit up again. 

"I'd highly recommend you do," the paramedic answered. "At least to get checked over. You can prove to me that you're fine, how about that?"

He sighed. He was too tired and sore to argue. The paramedic and her partner got him onto a gurney and into the ambulance. "We can call your family when we get you to the hospital," the paramedic said. "Did the guys take anything off of you? You have your phone still?"

Keith felt the comforting weight of Shiro's book in his coat pocket. "No, I don't think so. I think they got scared off."

"That's good." She shined a light in his eyes. He turned away, the light hurting his eyes. He was tired and hurt, and wanted everyone to leave him alone. Dizziness kept coming in waves. "...hey. Keith, can you hear me?" He blinked, confused. "Try to stay with me," the paramedic was saying. "We're almost there."

It was almost Christmas. He'd just gotten out for the semester. He didn't want to deal with this. Why hadn't he run? He didn't want to have to tell Shiro what had happened. Maybe he could be in and out of the hospital quick enough. The pain in his head and chest seemed to discredit that. 

"Keith. Do you remember what happened?" the paramedic said again, but he was having trouble concentrating on her. He just wanted to be home with Shiro, and make it so none of this had ever happened. 

He must have passed out again, or zoned out a lot, because he wasn't in the ambulance again. He could hear the paramedic talking, saying something about head injuries and bruising. A nurse or doctor was talking to him, telling him everything would be okay. He was moved onto a hospital bed. They removed his jacket, his chest aching with the movement. "W-w-wait," he mumbled. "I need- the book-"

"Don't worry," someone said. "We're just removing it. Do you have anyone that we can call for you?"

There was only one person he wanted to see. He wanted Shiro. He didn't want Shiro to know that he'd been stupid and got himself hurt. What if Shiro was mad, or disappointed? He didn't want to upset him. But he also needed him. He needed to see him. He was scared and confused. 

"Sh-Shiro," Keith told the nurse. "He's- his number is in my phone. He's my- my boyfriend. Shiro. Takashi Shirogane."

It felt weird to call Shiro by his full name. How he found that funny in this moment was uncertain to Keith, but it was. 

"Okay, okay," the nurse said. "Just relax. We'll take good care of you."

Keith just wanted to go home, and see Shiro's smile. 

* * *

 

Shiro peered out the front window. Still no sign of Keith. It had been a couple hours since they'd dropped Keith off. He hadn't told Shiro where he was going or what he was doing, but Shiro couldn't help but be curious. He'd texted Keith about a half hour ago, asking him how long he would be out, but he hadn't received an answer.

"Stop looking out the window," Pidge told him. "You guys really can't be separated for more than like an hour, can you? Maybe you're smothering him."

"I am not," Shiro said at once, though her words put a little doubt in his heart. It was true they really didn’t  spend much time apart, unless it was because of their work schedule or class. But for some reason, it worried him, the thought of Keith being alone. At least if someone else was with him, he'd feel better. But he felt like when Keith was alone, he started to withdraw into himself. Shiro could only imagine the demons in his mind Keith had to fight every day, with everything he'd been through. Keith seemed to thrive when he was around Shiro, or Hunk or Pidge or Lance, but when he was alone, Shiro could see that same, quiet boy he had first noticed in the library.

Shiro's phone rang. He jumped and looked at it. He felt disappointed; it wasn't Keith, but a number he didnt know. He thought about not answering it, figuring it was a telemarketer, but for some reason, he answered anyway.

"Hello," he said.

"Hello. Is this Mr. Takashi Shirogane?"

Shiro got very nervous. "Yes," he said. "Who is this?"

"I'm a nurse from Hamilton Medical Center," the woman said, and Shiro's heart dropped into his stomach. "I'm calling on behalf of Keith Kogane. You are Mr. Kogane's boyfriend?"

"Yes," Shiro whispered. Hunk and Pidge were looking at him, frowning. "What happened? Why is he in the hospital?"

"I can't give away that information over the phone," she replied. "But he has been asking for you quite a lot. I promise we can explain once you are here."

"I...." Shiro couldn't think of words. "I...okay. I'll- come. I'll be there."

He hung up, his hands shaking.

"What happened?" Hunk said, and Pidge shut her computer, looking worried.

"Keith-" Shiro stood up, unsure of what to do. "I- Keith's in the hospital."

"What?" Hunk gasped, and the same time Pidge asked, "Why?"

"I-I- I don't know, they wouldn't tell me," Shiro stammered. "I- I have to go. I have to go down there. Oh my god."

"Hey, we'll go with you," Hunk said at once, putting a hand on his shoulder, Pidge jumping up. "What hospital?"

"Hamilton," Shiro whispered.

"Okay," Hunk said, somehow keeping calm. "I'll drive us. Come on."

Shiro let Hunk steer him out of the house, his heart pounding in his chest. He could only imagine what might have happened- a car accident, maybe?- and it hurt him to think of Keith, laying in a hospital bed asking for him, and Shiro not being there.

"I'll text Lance, maybe they can meet us there," Pidge said, pulling out her phone. Shiro didn't respond. He was too afraid.

He'd never been so afraid in his life.  


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello friends, I’m super sleep deprived so apologies if I missed editing mistakes ^^;

Shiro waited impatiently in the waiting room, tapping his foot. Hunk and Pidge were sitting next to him, looking as uncomfortable as he felt. He felt like he'd been waiting for hours, and all he wanted was to see Keith for himself. The nurse had told him that Keith was doing well and that he would be able to see him and get an update soon, but that didn't do much to calm his nerves. They still hadn't told him what had even happened or what exactly was wrong with Keith, though it was a comfort to know that he was awake and talking. Finally, a nurse came to get him, but she wouldn't let Pidge or Hunk come, saying it was better that he didn't have too many visitors. 

"Don't worry," Hunk said at once, placing a hand on Shiro's shoulder. "You just go. We should wait here anyway, since Lance and Allura will be here soon. Just let us know how he's doing when you can."

"All right," Shiro said, smiling at Hunk, though he still felt like he was about to fall apart. Hunk hugged him, and Pidge joined in as well, and it made him feel a little bit stronger as he followed the nurse into the emergency room. 

"Sorry about the wait," the nurse told him as they walked. "He was getting some tests done, and then the police wanted to speak to him afterwards."

"The police?" Shiro repeated, fear gripping his heart. 

The nurse nodded. "I'll let him explain everything to you," she said. "He's doing a lot better, now. He's much more alert than when he came in, and we have him some medicine for his pain. He has a private room, so you'll be able to talk without having to be overheard."

If her words were meant to be comforting, they weren't working. "Here we are," she said, knocking on a door and opening it. "Keith? Your friend is here."

Shiro peeked into the room. Keith was in bed, part of his forehead covered in a gauze bandage. He looked very tired, but he smiled a bit when he saw Shiro. That little smile was all it took; Shiro practically ran to his side. He wanted to grab Keith's hand or hug him, but he wasn't sure where he was hurt. "Keith," he said, feeling tears well up in his eyes. "Oh my....what...what happened?"

The nurse left, shutting the door behind her. Shiro sat down, and Keith did him a favor and grabbed his hand. "I'm okay," Keith said, though he sounded exhausted. "It's nothing, I promise."

It certainly didn't look like nothing. "What happened?" Shiro asked again, holding his hand in both of his. "The nurse said the police were here."

Keith looked away. "Nothing. It was stupid. I...." He sighed, closing his eyes. "Some guys thought they were funny is all."

"Some guys thought....?" Shiro tried to understand, and Keith still wasn't looking at him. " _Someone_ did this?"

"It's nothing," Keith said again, quietly. 

"Was it that guy, the one you told me about?" Shiro asked him. Keith just sighed, and Shiro took that as a yes. 

"What happened?" Shiro asked again. "Please, tell me."

Keith didn't answer at first, and Shiro began to wonder if he would at all. "I went downtown," he said at last. "I was...looking in a store. I came out, and they were there. They must have seen me, maybe before I went in. I was stupid and not paying attention. They...they threw me down this alley and kicked me around a bit. That's all. Someone heard the commotion and scared them away and called the police."

"They got away?" Shiro asked, and Keith nodded. Shiro sighed. He didn’t want to think about Keith ‘getting kicked around a bit’ and felt a wave of anger towards the ones who had done it. "What did the doctor say?"

Again, Keith took a moment to answer. "Nothing major. I...I have a concussion and some bruised ribs."

Maybe that was nothing major to Keith, but it sounded awful to Shiro. "Does it hurt?"

Keith shook his head, but he winced slightly. "The doctors have me on something," he said, pointing at the IV in his arm. "I swear I'm okay."

"Keith," Shiro sighed. Keith had absolutely babied Shiro when Shiro just had the flu, but he gets a concussion and bruised ribs from being assaulted in some alley and he acted like it was nothing. 

"I'm sorry," Keith whispered. "I didn't mean to scare you."

"Of course I was scared," Shiro told him. "You were hurt and I had no idea what was going on. But you don't need to apologize for that."

"Yes I do," Keith replied, looking away again. "I should have tried to get away. I...I just stood there and let them do it. I-I just was afraid of fighting back. I don't want to get into trouble again. I'm just tired of fighting."

"I know," Shiro whispered. "It's okay. You didn't do anything wrong. They were the ones who did wrong. I hope the police catch them."

Keith didn't say anything. the next moment, there was a knock, and a doctor came in. "Hello again, Keith," he said. He turned to Shiro. "Hello," he said, holding his hand out. "I'm Dr. Larson," he said to Shiro. "How are you feeling, Keith?" he asked, turning back to Keith. 

"Fine," Keith replied. 

The doctor grinned. "Well, I'm impressed. Luckily, your scans showed no internal bleeding, so that's good news. As far as the ribs go, there's not much we can do except let them heal. You'll be in a bit of pain for a few weeks, so you'll need to take an easy. Concussions are a little trickier, because sometimes symptoms take hours, or even days or weeks to show up. We'd like to keep you here overnight, just to keep an eye on you."

"No," Keith said at once, startling Shiro. "I'm fine."

"Keith," Shiro said awkwardly. "Maybe-"

"I don't want to stay," Keith said, without looking at him. 

The doctor sighed. "Even if you feel fine right at this moment, you might not feel as well in a few hours. The first twenty four hours are important in an injury like this. It's important that we keep a close eye on you-"

"I understand," Keith said at once. "But I'll be fine. I want to go home."

The doctor looked at Shiro for help. "Well, I'll let you two talk a bit," he said. "You have some paperwork you'll need to fill out anyway. Let me know how you feel when I get back, and we'll go from there."

Keith sighed but didn't answer. The doctor left. "Keith," Shiro said as soon as the door was shut. "Look, I know you don't want to be here-"

"I'm not staying, Shiro," Keith replied. 

"I think that you should," Shiro said, trying to sound assertive. "I'd rather know that you are okay."

"I am okay," Keith said stubbornly. 

"No, you're not," Shiro replied. He sighed. "Please, Keith. I just want you to be okay. He just said overnight."

Keith still wouldn't make eye contact. "I'm sorry, Shiro," he whispered. "But I can't stay here. I can't feel...I just feel uncomfortable, okay? And it's a waste of money. People get concussions all the time. I'll be fine, I promise."

God, why was he so stubborn. "I'll take an easy," Keith said softly, finally looking at Shiro. "Just please, I need to go home. I just want to go home."

He looked so scared for some reason. Shiro felt torn, because he was afraid of something bad happening if Keith didn’t  stay; at the same time, he felt bad trying to make him stay when he looked so uncomfortable. 

"I'll try to find the doctor," he sighed at last. "Will you be okay if I leave for a moment? Hunk and the others are in the waiting room, I can have them sit with you."

Keith shook his head. "I'm okay," he said quietly. Shiro was already tired of hearing 'I'm okay', but he didn’t  press it. It only took him a moment to find the doctor, at the nurses station. 

"Did he change his mind?" Dr. Larson asked, and Shiro shook his head. 

"No, sorry," he replied. "He...he won't listen to me. I think he has a fear of hospitals. What would I need to do, if he comes home tonight?"

The doctor sighed. "You'll need to watch him closely, and not leave him alone," the doctor said. "Just keep checking in on him and make sure he's still functioning okay. Ask him questions, talk to him. He can sleep, but still keep an eye out. Some pain, dizziness, and nausea is normal. With the bruising in his ribs as well, he'll need to rest for a few days. I can give him some pain medication, but that's about all we can do."

Shiro took a deep breath. "Okay," he said, knowing how stubborn Keith was. He wouldn't make it easy. "I can do that."

The doctor smiled. "Well, I'm glad he'll have someone there at least. You can call us or bring him back, of course, if needed. He'll have to sign some extra paperwork for refusing my orders. You'll  probably need to help him with it, as even paperwork might be too much for him right now."

"No problem," Shiro sighed. "Thank you."

They did indeed have a lot of paperwork, and they had a lot of paperwork to take home, as well. The doctor gave Keith a note to excuse him from work, though Keith didn't look happy about it. Shiro had to help him get his shoes and jacket on; Keith got super nervous when Shiro touched his jacket, for some reason. Keith didn't complain once, but Shiro's heart broke a little every time Keith tried to hide a wince or grimace. Hunk, Pidge, Lance and Allura were all waiting out in the waiting room for them. Shiro had texted them to let them know what was wrong with Keith, but didn't give them the details of what exactly had happened. He figured it would be better to wait, for now, unsure of how Keith felt about letting the others know. Shiro texted Hunk that they would be leaving, and Hunk said he'd get the car ready. Keith wasn't thrilled when the nurse brought him a wheelchair to wheel him out in, though when they said he couldn't leave unless he got in, he finally relented.

Keith managed a weak smile when their friends jumped up and ran over in the waiting room. He assured them he was fine, of course. They had a lot of questions, but Shiro could tell that Keith was getting a little overwhelmed, so he politely told them he'd answer their questions once they were home. He helped Keith into the car, and then got into the backseat with him, Hunk and Pidge up front. Keith was very quiet, making Shiro worry. Shiro felt like he was on the edge of the cliff and about to fall. He did his best to try and seem calm, though. He scooted into the middle seat, and Keith leaned into him, lacing his fingers though Shiro's. Keith closed his eyes, relaxing a bit. Hunk and Pidge kept glancing back at them, and Shiro knew they were worried, too. 

Lance and Allura followed them home. Shiro had to put his arm around Keith's waist, for Keith was unsteady when he tried to walk off alone. The last thing Shiro wanted was for Keith to injure himself further, so he made sure to help him all the way into the house, the others opening doors and moving things out of the way for them. Shiro was relieved when he finally got Keith into his bed, and Keith looked relieved as well. Once Keith okay and comfortable , the others all backed out of the room, telling Shiro and Keith to call if they needed anything. 

Shiro hung Keith's jacket over on the hook in his door, and then dragged a chair next to his bed. "You can sit with me," Keith told him. "I mean, on the bed."

Shiro smiled sadly. "I don't want to hurt you."

"You won't," Keith whispered, making room for Shiro. Shiro still felt nervous, but he got into the bed anyway, allowing Keith to make himself comfortable. 

"Okay?" Shiro asked, trying to avoid Keith's bruised rib, settling his hand on Keith's hip. 

"Mm-hm," Keith mumbled. "I feel a lot better already."

"Just let me know if you need anything," Shiro told him. "And I mean it."

Keith cracked a smile. "I'll be okay."

Shiro sighed exasperatedly. "Remember when I had the flu, and you wouldn't let me out of bed for three days?"

"You were sick."

"I let you take care of me. So let me take care of you."

"I suppose that would be fair," Keith said. "Thank you, for letting me come home."

"You didn't give me much of a choice."

"I'm sorry," he said quietly. "I just really don't like hospitals. I feel like only bad things happen there. People die. People get angry. People are scared." He shivered. 

Shiro thought of Keith's father. He thought of the scar on Keith's face. "I can understand that. I don't like them much myself."

Keith gripped Shiro's shirt. "I was afraid, today," he whispered. "I was afraid and all I could think about was you."

Shiro swallowed over the lump in his throat. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "I wish I could have been there sooner."

"It's okay," Keith said quickly. "I guess what I mean is....I don't know. Part of me didn’t want to call you, because I knew you'd be upset. But more than anything I just wanted to see you. Even just seeing you made me feel better. Like none of the bad stuff mattered."

Shiro blinked away the tears in his eyes. "I'm glad. I love you so much."

Keith smiled. "I love you too."

Keith drifted off to sleep a few minutes later. Shiro wanted to stay there next to him, but he was feeling overwhelmed, his heart feeling like a dam about to burst. He carefully moved off the bed, and thankfully Keith didn't wake. The tears were already streaming when he opened the door. "C-can one of you sit with him?" he asked, not even trying to hide his tears. 

"I will," Pidge said at once, standing up and setting her computer aside. She patted Shiro's arm as she passed, settling into the chair next to Keith's bed. Shiro left Keith’s room, and Lance was suddenly there, wrapping his arms around Shiro. Shiro hugged him back, letting the tears overtake him as he clung to his best friend, sobbing into his shoulder. 

"Hey," Lance said, his voice much more gentle than Shiro had ever heard it. "He's going to be okay. It's okay."

"I was so scared," Shiro whispered. 

"I know," Lance sighed. "Come on, sit down." 

Shiro let Lance steer him to the couch. Hunk and Allura were there, but they were silent, not even looking, as if they felt they were intruders. 

"I'm sorry," Shiro said, sniffling. "I just...I don't know. I want to help him."

"You are," Lance said firmly. "You are, and he knows it."

"I don't want to see him hurt."

Lance smiled sadly. "I know," he said again. "But unfortunately he is hurt. But he's going to get better, and we'll all pitch in to help him. Did the doctor say how long his recovery will be?"

Shiro shrugged. "A couple weeks, at least," he replied. 

"Did...someone hurt him?" Hunk asked, causing everyone to look at him. "I...I heard something on the news, and the police were looking for information, and...you hadn't said what had happened...."

"It was on the news?" Shiro gasped. 

"Not his name or anything," Hunk said quickly. "Just that someone was assaulted earlier today, and I guess with his injuries, I just...I just wondered."

Shiro didn't want to tell them, but at the same time, the basically already knew. He just nodded. 

"Scumbags," Lance muttered. 

"Poor Keith," Allura said sadly. "He's so sweet."

Keith had never told the others about his childhood. Shiro knew he would, when he was ready. 

"How can someone do that," Hunk said, shaking his head. 

"It scares me, to think what could have happened," Shiro whispered. 

"Don't think like that," Lance told him. "You'll just drive yourself crazy. He's going be okay. We'll all be here for him. Just try to focus on that, okay? Try not to think about all the 'what ifs'." 

Shiro just nodded. "I'll make some coffee," Hunk said, standing up. "And some muffins. Muffins sound good." That was Hunk. Baking was his answer to everything.

"I'll help!" Allura said, jumping up. "I need to feel like I'm doing something."

Shiro and Lance were left alone. "Are you going to be alright?" Lance asked him. "Do you need me to add something to your coffee?"

Shiro couldn't help but to grin. "No," he said. "Thank you. I'm sorry, I'm such a mess."

"Don't be sorry," Lance sighed. "God knows if someone had hurt Allura, I probably would have killed someone by now."

Shiro chuckled. Lance clapped him on the back, and he felt a bit better. "I'm going to get back to him," Shiro said, standing up. "The doctor said it's important to keep a close eye on him tonight, so. Thank you, Lance."

"What are best friends for?" Lance said with a smile. "Go on ahead, I’ll  bring your coffee when it's ready."

"Don't put anything in it!" Shiro told him, and Lance laughed.

"I won't, I won't."

Shiro returned to Keith’s  room, startling Pidge, who quickly let go of Keith's hand, as if embarrassed. "Hey," she said, standing up. "He was fine, fast asleep."

"Thanks for sitting with him," he told her.

She smiled and hugged him. "You okay?"

"I will be," he said, and she let go, smiling sadly at him before leaving him alone with Keith.

Keith was still asleep. Shiro sat down in the chair, taking Keith's hand in His and pressing a kiss to it. He wished for nothing ore than to take all of Keith's pain away. As much as Keith preached he was okay, Shiro knew he was lying. Shiro suddenly understood why Keith had been so protective of him when he was sick. It was hard, to see the person you love suffer. It was painful to think about Keith in that alley, those awful people kicking him around. Shiro felt a another wave of anger towards the men who had hurt Keith. Keith had been trying so hard to better himself. What if this just set him back again?

At least Shiro was there. He would be there to bring Keith back, no matter what.  

 

 

 


	11. Chapter 11

Keith awoke with a gasp, his heart hammering in his chest. 

He was in his bed, at home. He sighed in relief, his hand reaching for Shiro, but finding the bed empty. He rolled onto his uninjured side, trying to calm his racing heart. It was going on the second day since the attack in the alley. Keith had been sleeping on and off most of the time, his injuries and the painkillers making him tired. But with the sleep came dreams. He felt like he was constantly stuck back in that alley, even when he was asleep. His dreams were all the same, but all slightly different. The dream he'd just awoken from had involved Shiro. Somehow Shiro had known where to find him, showing up in the alley, and tried to save him from Zachery, but-

Keith shivered, pushing the dream away. He didn't want to think about it. He wished he didn't have to think about that alley ever again. 

He could hear conversation outside his room. He sat up, his ribs and head both aching in protest. He'd been in a lot of pain. Keith had been in fights before, but they'd never hurt this badly. But again, he had always been able to fight back before. He might seem small, and his fists had been the one way he had learned to deal with the pain in his heart. Old Keith would have been disappointed to see himself trying to run away like he had in that alley. But old Keith was also a lot more lonely, too. 

He opened the drawer of his nightstand, finding the old book he had bought Shiro for Christmas. For some reason, it brought him comfort. Despite the fact his trip downtown had caused him a head injury and bruised ribs, he was still incredibly excited to give Shiro his Christmas present. He could just imagine giving it to him on Christmas day, and seeing that smile that always warmed his heart, and it made his pain a little less. 

He got out of bed, giving waiting a moment for his dizziness to pass. He opened the door to his room, wondering where Shiro had gone to. He hadn't left Keith's side all the day yesterday. Part of Keith had loved it, and a part of him had felt rather guilty. It was their Christmas break, after all, and it was Shiro's last break before his final semester started. He hated to take up his time when he could be doing something a lot more fun. 

Pidge was sitting on the couch with her computer, as always. She looked over and saw him, and smiled brightly. He smiled back. Pidge had always been the least talkative of his new friends, spending hours on end on her computer instead, whether it be for school or for her online games. But he'd noticed that she had peeked into his room quite often yesterday to check on him and offer to get him things. She had been worried about him, even if she didn't say so. 

"Good morning," she said, setting her computer aside.

He sat next to her on the couch. Simply sitting down caused his ribs to ache- simply _breathing_ hurt. Keith felt he was going to end up going crazy before he even got better. 

"Are you alright?" Pidge asked, frowning. 

"Yeah," he sighed, curling up and getting as comfortable as he could. 

"Hurts like a bitch, doesn't it?" she asked, and he couldn't help but grin at her bluntness. He nodded, and she patted his leg. "I'm sorry, Keith. It must be super shitty."

"Yeah, a bit," he admitted.

"If I ever find the guy who did it, I'll kill him for you," she replied, and he laughed at the idea of little Pidge trying to kill anybody. But, even with her small size, he wouldn't put it past her. 

"Don't make me laugh," he said, his ribs protesting, but he was still smiling. 

"Yeah, Shiro will yell at me if I make you hurt myself," she said seriously. "And I don't want Shiro angry at me, because angry doesn't suit him well and I just make things worse by laughing."

"I don't even know if I've seen Shiro angry," Keith said thoughtfully. Annoyed, maybe, or frustrated, but not really angry.

"Well you might get to today," Pidge sighed, gesturing towards Shiro's room. "He's on the phone with his parents. If his dad says two words to him he almost always storms out angrily."

Keith frowned. Now that she had mentioned it, he could hear Shiro's voice coming from his room.

"Are you hungry?" Pidge asked. "I can get you something. There's still a ton of muffins left. I can't believe Hunk and Allura made so many."

"Sure," he said, and Pidge jumped up, returning a minute later with a whole plate of muffins. They were banana muffins, and they tasted amazing.

"Where is Hunk?" Keith asked.

"Christmas shopping," Pidge said with a grin. "But we aren't supposed to know it. But I mean, why else are we supposed to hide in our rooms when he gets back? He's so obvious."

Keith was pondering what he should get Pidge and Hunk for Christmas, when Shiro emerged from his room at last. He did indeed look as angry as Keith had ever seen him, his body tense and his expression stormy. However, when he saw Keith, it vanished, replaced with a smile, though it was still strained.

"Hey," he said warmly, leaning over and kissing Keith on the top of his head. "I didnt wake you, did I?"

"No," Keith replied, suddenly remembering the remnants of his dream, and violently pushing them away. "Are you alright?"

Shiro relaxed a bit, his smile more genuine. "I'm okay," he said, taking a muffin and squeezing onto the couch between Keith and Pidge. "I was just telling my parents I'll be staying in Pennsylvania this Christmas."

Keith had forgotten about Shiro's family being so far. "Do you usually go home for Christmas?"

"Yes," Shiro said with a heavy sigh. "I honestly dread it, because I don't like going home anymore, except to see my mother. My father has this stupid Christmas party he makes us go to every year, and honestly its just to buff his appearance of being the perfect family man to his friends." Shiro shook his head. "He's mad that I told him I was staying here this year. But it's my last Christmas before I graduate, you know? I want to be here, with you guys."

Keith was quiet, wondering if the real reason was because Shiro didn't want to leave him when he was recovering. Even though it was clear Shiro didn't want to go home anyway, Keith couldn't help but feel a little guilty.  

"Don't worry about it Shiro," Pidge told him. "Your Dad's an ass but your mom will understand. Plus, you'll see them in May anyway."

"Yeah, I said the same thing," Shiro replied. "My mom was okay, even if she was a little sad. I...I was telling her about you," he added, looking at Keith with a small smile. "I can't wait until you get to meet her."

Keith smiled, even though the thought of meeting Shiro's parents sounded terrifying. "She sounds wonderful."

Pidge's phone buzzed. "Ugh, Hunk is almost home," she said, rolling her eyes. She got up, grabbing her computer. "I'm going to go hide in my room. I don't feel like watching Christmas movies right now. " She studied Keith for a moment. "Close you eyes when he comes in," she said with a grin. 

"Hunk and his Christmas presents," Shiro sighed and Pidge disappeared into her room. He turned to Keith, and Keith had a strong urge to wrap his arms around him. He wasn't sure exactly what had been said between Shiro and his father, but Keith could tell he was still upset over it. 

"I'm gonna go start some coffee," Shiro said, finding Keith's hand and squeezing it. "Do you need anything?"

Keith wanted to say he needed to hug him, but unfortunately he wasn't in much shape for hugging. "I'm okay."

Shiro smiled. "I'm gonna get some ice for your bruising," he said, standing up. "I'll be back when the coast is clear."

Hunk returned home about two minutes later. Keith made sure his eyes were completely covered as Hunk hauled what sounded like way too much through the living room. When he finally heard Hunk say ," Okay!" and shut himself in his room, Keith opened his eyes again, and Shiro returned, icepack in hand. He sat down, pulling Keith's shirt up to reveal the dark bruising on his side. His face fell a bit at the sight, his lips pressed tightly together. He put the ice gently on Keith's side, and Keith sighed with relief that the coolness brought. 

"The bruising looks worse today," Shiro sighed, his hands shaking a bit. 

"It's not so bad," Keith told him. "Bruises will fade."

Shiro smiled appreciatively. "You aren't supposed to comfort me. It's supposed to be the other way around."

"Hm." Keith took a deep breath. "I'm sorry about your dad, Shiro."

Shiro brushed Keith's hair with his fingers. "It's okay," he said softly. "I'll get to spend Christmas here with you. That's the best present I could ask for."

* * *

Keith dozed off again, and thankfully no dreams plagued him. He woke up, Shiro still next to him on the couch, a book in hand. Hunk was watching some sort of Christmas themed baking show on the TV, and Pidge had reemerged from her room, sitting next to Hunk and watching the TV over to the top of her laptop. Keith had a blanket thrown over him, though he wasn't sure where it came from. He laid there quietly for a while, enjoying how safe he felt there, with just the mere presence of the people in the room with him. It really dawned on him in that moment how much they all meant to him. It had only been three months since he moved into the house, but they had all become like a family to him. The family he'd never had, and always wanted. 

There was a knock at the door, making him jump. The door opened and Lance and Allura came in, bundled up and carrying pizza boxes. 

"We bring food!" Lance announced, and Keith pushed himself up into a sitting position with Shiro's support. "Keith!" Lance said, shoving the boxes at Hunk. "Good to see you up." He held out his fist, and Keith smiled tiredly and fist bumped him. 

"How are you?" Allura asked, going to hug him and then stopping. "Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot!"

"It's all right," Keith said quickly. "I'm doing okay."

"We figured pizza might help," Lance said with a grin. "Pizza always makes everything better."

Pizza did seem to help a bit after all. Keith hadn't eaten much, and having some food in him made him feel a bit better. Lance started telling them a story about something that had happened at work- he worked in a retail store, and always had an interesting story to tell with the holiday season- and Keith found himself feeling quite content. Full on pizza, nuzzled next to Shiro, smiling as Lance and Hunk laughed over crazy customer stories,  while Allura shook her head in amusement,  and Shiro just sat there with his small smile. 

Keith's phone rang. He looked at it, frowning. "Hello?" he answered. 

"Hello, is this Keith Kogane?"

"Yes," he said slowly. 

"Hello, Keith. This is officer Collom. I spoke to you at the hospital."

Keith felt cold all over, despite the blanket and warm room. Shiro looked at him questioningly, and the others looked over as well. 

"Yes, hello," Keith said rather stiffly, wishing he could get up and hide in his room, but also really not wanting to move. 

"I hope you're doing well. I'm sorry to bother you, as I know it's been a rough couple days for you. I was just hoping you might have remembered something about the men who attacked you."

Keith's stomach squirmed in discomfort. "No, I...nothing new has come up."

The officer sighed. "We haven't gotten any tips in, unfortunately. And without clear descriptions, there's really not much that we can do. Are you sure there's nothing else you've been able to remember?"

Keith swallowed. "No."

"Okay," the officer said, sounding disappointed. "Well, save my number, and if anything does come up, even a small detail, let us know."

"I will," Keith said, though it was of course a lie. He had a feeling the officer knew he was lying. 

"Good," Officer Collom replied. "Well, I hope you're feeling better. I'll contact you if anything comes up."

"Thank you," Keith said quietly, and hung up the phone. He was very aware of everyone looking at him. 

"Who was it?" Shiro asked, looking concerned. 

"The police," Keith replied without looking at him. 

"Did they catch the assholes?" Lance asked, and Keith shook his head. 

"They were just calling to say that there isn't really much they can do," Keith told them. 

Shiro frowned. "You told them his name, right?"

Keith's heart hammered. "Yes," he lied. 

"Wait, you knew the guy?" Hunk asked. 

Shiro's eyes widened, and he looked from Hunk to Keith, looking scared. Shiro had told Keith the others had figured out what had happened, but he didn't tell them any details. Keith could see the regret in Shiro's eyes, and it made Keith feel bad that Shiro had been hiding his secrets for him. 

"It's okay," Shiro," he said. "Yes, I did know him," he told Hunk. "I've known him for a long time."

And Keith told them everything. He told them about his father, the picture of his flaming house forever scarred into his mind. He told them about the foster care homes, and the group homes. He told them about Zachery, about fighting, stealing, and about juvie. They all listened to him, but Keith was unable to look at them at all. He was afraid of what he'd see on their faces- fear? Disgust? The same look that everyone had always given him? Like he was too much to deal with? Like he was some sad story, the fucked up kid with no parents and only anger in his heart?

The room fell uncomfortably quiet as he finished talking, ending his story with starting his freshman year and meeting all of them. His eyes found Shiro first, who smiled sadly at him. He'd held Keith's hand the whole time, giving Keith the strength he needed to get the words out. Keith heard a sniffle, and looked over at Pidge, surprised to see that she was crying. Hunk also looked on the verge of tears. Allura looked shocked, her hand on her mouth. And Lance just stared at Keith, his expression troubled. 

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner," Keith said uncertainly. "I can understand if- if you feel....or if you don't want to...." Keith couldn't even say the words. Because they all meant something to him, now. Even though he would understand if they decided he wasn't worth their friendship anymore, it would hurt him. "I'm sorry. I moved into your house and you welcomed me in like it was nothing-"

"That's why you had no where to go," Hunk said sadly. 

Keith bit his lip. 

"I can't believe...." Pidge wiped her eyes. "I can't believe you went through all that and we didn't know. You were always so nice and...I had no idea."

"I'm sorry, Keith," Lance said quietly. "That's... I can't even imagine."

"How did you even make it through the day? Allura asked him, her eyes shining. 

"You...you aren't mad at me?" Keith asked them nervously. 

"Mad?" Hunk repeated, confused. "Why would we be mad at you?"

"Because I...I took advantage of you all," Keith said, feeling his own eyes water. "You all were so kind, and I..I wasn't...." _He didn't deserve it._

"How?" Lance said incredulously. "By making Shiro ridiculously happy?"

"And cooking dinner with me?" Hunk added. "And staying up with Pidge to play her games with her?"

"You didn't take advtange of anyone," Lance told him firmly. "You've made us all happier from the moment Shiro came home with a smile on his face."

Shiro was a little pink, but he was smiling. 

"We're your friends," Allura told him, smiling through her tears. 

"We're your _family_ ," Shiro said, speaking at last. "It's not just me that you've made happier, Keith."

Keith looked around at them all, and none of them were looking at him like he was disgusting or a fuck up. 

They really did love him, each and everyone of them. Just like he had grown to love each of them. 

"Thank you," Keith whispered, his tears spilling over. 

Pidge jumped up and hugged him, careful to avoid his bruised side. Lance patted his knee. "You aren't alone anymore," he said. "You're stuck with us, buddy."

Keith hugged Pidge back, a bit awkwardly with one arm, but a hug still the same. Somehow, in these three months, he'd gone from a kid with nothing but an old car and hope for a better future, to having a whole family who loved him and a house to call home. 

Keith had thought he would never love anyone again after his father had died. He had shut his heart off, let himself believe that it was impossible to ever find love in a such a dark and broken world. But then Shiro had walked up to him in the library that day, his little smile and awkward laugh. And slowly, without Keith even realizing it, he had learned to let himself love again. 

The world didn't feel as dark and broken, anymore. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is Christmas <3


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christmas <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh man did I struggle writing this chapter, but I hope it turned out okay in the end <3

Keith sat on the couch, watching the snow fall out the window. It had been a week since the attack in the alley, and Christmas was only three days away. 

The house was quiet. Pidge was out with her brother Matt to help with with some last minute Christmas shopping. Hunk and Shiro were both gone at work, and Keith was home alone for the first time since he'd been attacked. Shiro hadn't wanted to leave Keith there alone, but Keith had sworn up and down that he was fine, and Shiro's shift wasn't very long anyway. Keith just hated the idea of inconveniencing the others; he should be perfectly capable of taking care of himself, after all. 

But now that Keith was alone, he was realizing that he wasn't as okay as he thought he was. More than anything, he was afraid. 

Keith was used to being alone. It wasn't anything new to him, and he really didn't mind it much, either. He'd spent years alone, even in the times he was surrounded by people. And Keith had never really been afraid. He had always just taken each day at a time, and tried not to worry about things he had no control over. Fights with others never left him feeling afraid, or unsafe. He had always been too angry to be afraid. But things were different for him, now. 

He was still being plagued by nightmares, and it had gotten to a point where Shiro-and probably Hunk and Pidge, too-had realized it. Every time he closed his eyes  he was right back in that alley. And it wasn't just himself he was afraid for. It was Shiro, and Hunk and Pidge, Lance and Allura- anyone who had any connection to him. The whole reason that he had refrained from telling the police who it was who had hurt him was because he was afraid of what might happen. On the streets he had grown up in, and in the group homes and especially juvie, there had always been one agreed upon fact, no matter what: there was nothing worse than being a snitch. If you were a snitch, you might as well have a target painted on your back. As much as Keith would like to see Zachery get caught, he knew it wasn't worth it. Especially since he'd probably only end up getting locked up for a few months for assault charges. Zachery all ready hated him enough. Part of Keith wondered if Zachery wanted him to rat him out, just for the excuse to come after him again. 

Keith wasn't exactly afraid of Zachery coming back after him. What he was afraid of was someone else getting hurt because of him. 

Keith closed his eyes, his heart pounding. He'd been sitting at the window, so he could see outside, just in case. He doubted Zachery knew where he lived, but it also wouldn't be the hardest thing to figure out. He was hoping, that because Keith hadn't told the police anything, that perhaps this would be it. Maybe they were finally even after all these years. 

His head pounded. Christmas was almost here, and he was a mess. Allura and Lance were coming over tomorrow for their little family Christmas celebration, since everyone, aside from Shiro and Keith, was going to be busy with their families over Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. He had been quiet the past couple days, mostly trying to pull himself together enough for the holiday. He was trying to push past his fears, push pass the pain in his body and be _better_. But at the same time, he felt like the more he tried to push it away, the worse it got. 

It made Keith feel ashamed, and guilty. He didn't want to be this weak, scared person. He wanted to forget that the attack in the alley had ever happened. He wanted to ignore the bruises on his body and pretend it didn't bother him. He wanted to be as happy as he had been on the last day of the semester, throwing snowballs and hanging Christmas decorations. All he felt like now was a burden.

Keith felt the tears threatening him, and his throat burned as he fought them back. Not for the first time, and not for the last, he wondered if him being with Shiro was a good idea. Somedays it seemed like the only outcome was that Keith would just drag Shiro down. As much as Shiro made him happy, Keith would rather be alone than ever bring Shiro down.

* * *

Shiro stared out the window, distracted. The library was empty, and they were mostly just doing busy work until closing. But Shiro couldn't stop thinking about Keith. He was okay leaving him as long as Pidge or Hunk were home with him, but he just couldn't stop worrying with him being there alone. Keith had been preaching that he was fine from the moment Shiro had arrived at the hospital that day, but Shiro knew Keith wasn't fine. Keith seemed far from fine, especially the past couple days. Shiro had hoped that after Keith had talked to their friends, and realized how much they all cared for him, that things would be better. And for a day or two, it had been that way. But Keith had started to close up again. Shiro could only imagine how hard it must be for him, even knowing he had those who cared for him. All Shiro wanted to do was make everything better. But he also wasn't sure how to help him. 

"Hey." Romelle leaned on the book cart, waking Shiro from his thoughts. She smiled sadly at him, resting her chin on her hand. "You doing okay?" she asked. 

"Yeah." Shiro sighed. "No."

"You're worried about him," she guessed.

Shiro nodded. Romelle took the book from out of his hands. "Go ahead. Go home."

Shiro was startled. "What?"

"I already asked Mrs. Ruth if I could stay and finish for you, and she said yes," Romelle told him. "Go home to Keith. He needs you more than the books. Plus, you've just been staring out the window with the same book in your hands for fifteen minutes."

Shiro felt a rush of affection for Romelle. "Thank you," he told her, and she hugged him tightly. 

"Merry Christmas," she said with a small smile. "Now go."

* * *

 

When Shiro arrived home, Keith was asleep, sitting up and leaning against the couch cushions in front of the window. Shiro sat down, reaching over and gently pushing Keith's hair back out of his face. The cut on his head was healing, though it still looked bad, now surrounded by a ring of bruising. Shiro wondered if it would scar. Keith already had enough scars. 

But scars and all, he was still beautiful to Shiro. 

Keith's eyes fluttered open and he started. Shiro was able to see the fear flash in his eyes, and saw the way his body tensed, before he realized it was Shiro and relaxed. 

"I'm sorry," Shiro said, his hand falling away. "I didn't mean to scare you."

Keith rubbed his eyes. "You're back already?" he asked. 

"They let me go early," Shiro told him. "I wasn't really needed. They're closed after today anyway, and no one's really been around since the semester let out."

Keith just nodded. "What were you up to?" Shiro asked him, noticing the TV wasn't on, and the house was silent. 

"Just...watching the snow," Keith said with a one shouldered shrug. 

Keith wasn't looking at him. Shiro could feel him pulling away again, like there was a physical wall separating them, even right next one another. He thought of Keith crying out and thrashing in the middle of the night, and Shiro having to wake him up as Keith gasped and sobbed. Shiro felt afraid, like Keith was slipping and he wasn't sure how to catch him, before he fell and broke to pieces. 

"Do you want to get out of the house for a bit?" Shiro asked him. Keith had been stuck home for days, and perhaps simple a little fresh air and freedom would help him feel a bit better. "We can look at Christmas decorations around the neighborhoods!"

Keith looked around at him, and a small smile came to his lips. "Sure," he said. 

Once they were both bundled up, they made their way to Shiro's car. Keith kept his eyes out the window, and he was quiet. Shiro reached over and grabbed his hand, and Keith squeezed it, but didn't say anything. Shiro turned the radio on, which was basically only playing Christmas music now, and they drove around as the sun went down, the streets and houses lighting up. Keith started to relax a bit after a while, and even started pointing out houses and displays to Shiro. They stopped to get hot chocolate at a place across from the college, and Shiro could feel the wall starting to come down a little. 

"Can we walk for a little bit?" Keith asked him. 

"Are you feeling well enough?" Shiro asked him, and Keith nodded. "All right. But not for too long, and let me know if you need to stop."

Keith smiled and hugged Shiro's arm. They crossed over to the campus, walking around the familiar path they had walked when they first started talking. The campus was quiet, the snow untouched. It was rather peaceful, even if it was cold, and the hot chocolate was delicious. They walked in silence, but it wasn't uncomfortable. Mostly, it was relaxing, and even Shiro felt a bit more clearheaded with the cold air and quiet. They had only made it about halfway through their path around campus when Keith asked if they could head back, and so they did, Keith leaning on him a bit more. 

"Are you okay?" Shiro asked when he helped Keith into the car, and Keith just nodded and tried to reassure him with a smile. Shiro got into the car as well, starting it and turning the heat on to warm up. 

"Shiro," Keith said suddenly, grabbing Shiro's wrist as he went to take the car out of park. "Can we...wait here for a second?"

"Sure," Shiro said, and Keith let go of him. He could tell Keith wanted to say something to him, but he was trying to find the words to say. 

"Thank you," Keith said at last. "This...it helped." He looked at Shiro, and he could see Keith's pain in his eyes. "When I'm with you, things...they aren't as bad. But....But I'm afraid, Shiro."

"Of what?" Shiro asked him, feeling a bit afraid himself. 

Keith shook his head. "Just...everything, right now."

Shiro reached out and grabbed his hand again. "You're safe here with me."

Keith tried to smile, a tear escaping his eye. "I know," he whispered. 

Shiro would do anything to take away every fear in Keith's heart, and every ounce of pain, but he couldn't, and he hated it. 

"I'm trying," Keith said, wiping his face. "I'm trying to be better. I'm trying to believe it will be okay."

"Keith," Shiro whispered, as Keith squeezed his hand so hard it was painful, but Shiro couldn't care. "It's...it's not going to happen overnight. It takes time to heal, not just physically. It will be okay. But you can't get angry or blame yourself if you aren't okay. It's okay to feel hurt, or angry, or afraid. That's part of what it means to be alive. And you have every reason to feel that way. You don't have to try and pretend, or whatever. Sometimes the only way to move on from something is to acknowledge that it hurt you. If you try to pretend it didn't, it'll just grow inside of you until it's unbearable." He reached out placed his hand on Keith's face. "I know you want to be better, and you will be. Because I'll be here, and so will everyone else."

Keith placed his hand over Shiro's and nodded again, tears still falling. Shiro reached over awkwardly and hugged him, wishing they weren't sitting in the car, and Keith hugged him back, until he said, "I'm sorry Shiro, but this hurts," and Shiro let go immediately, apologizing. 

Pidge and Hunk were home when they got back, both of them seated in the living room in their usual spots. Shiro and Keith took their usual spot on the couch, wrapping up in blankets, holding on to each other and not letting go. 

* * *

 

Keith looked at himself in the mirror, feeling nervous. Christmas music was blaring in the living room, and the house was full of the smell of Hunk's Christmas dinner cooking. Keith had dressed up the best he could, in a white button up and black jeans, tying his hair back the way Shiro liked it. The cut on his head was ugly, and he had circles under his eyes from days of restless sleep, but it was the best he could do. Allura and Lance would be there any minute. Keith had been trying to help Hunk in the kitchen most the day, trying to be useful and keep his mind off things. He was trying to be excited for their Christmas get together. It was his first real Christmas since his dad had been alive, and he wanted it to be a good one, especially for Shiro and his friends. 

There was a knock at his door. "Come in," Keith called, and Shiro stepped in, looking adorably festive in a red sweater and santa's hat. "Allura and Lance just pulled up," he told him, a small smile coming to his face. "You look great."

"I tried," Keith sighed, looking back at the mirror. "I still look a mess."

"You look wonderful," Shiro told him, wrapping his arms around Keith's shoulders and kissing his cheek. Keith already felt much better. 

Lance and Allura came in, holding bags of gifts. They all hugged one another, chatting happily, and Keith felt his anxieties starting to strip away again. Hunk served them an amazing Christmas feast, as they all sat in the living room together, squeezed together on the couches and yet never uncomfortable. Keith ate his whole plate of ham and potatoes, eating more than he had in the whole week put together. Allura had brought some sort of cranberry cheesecake for dessert, and Keith could have happily eat the whole thing, as full as he was. Once their food had settled, everyone settled on the floor, passing out the gifts they had gotten one another. Shiro's gift was still safely in Keith's bedside table; they had already agreed to give one another their gifts on Christmas day. 

Keith felt rather embarrassed to open his gifts from the others. It had been such a long time since he was a kid, happily ripping through wrapping paper as his dad watched. The first gift he opened was from Hunk. He'd gotten him a box of chocolates and a snow globe, which Keith had fun shaking and watching the snow fall. ("So you can have the snow all year round!" Hunk told him.) Pidge had gotten him a new set of headphones, which he found funny. When she had seen the once he used, held together by tape, she had looked appalled and vowed to get him nice headphones. Allura had hand knitted him a sweater, and it was so soft and warm he pulled it on right away, causing her to smile brightly. Lance's present surprised Keith; it was two tickets to a play the college was hosting next semester. Keith had seen the posters before break and had mentioned he wanted to go, since he'd never been to play before. "I figured you and Shiro could use a night out together," Lance told him with a grin. 

The evening left him feeling warm. At the end of the night, Lance pulled out his phone and they all took a photo together in front of the Christmas tree. Lance sent them each the photo, and Keith looked at it a long time, a smile on his face, knowing that he'd always remember that night- how even though in the hardest of times, he'd been able to smile and laugh with his friends by his side. 

* * *

 

Shiro woke up on Christmas day, and Keith was already awake, watching him. 

"Merry Christmas," he told Shiro with a smile as Shiro sat up, yawning.

"Merry Christmas," Shiro said sleepily. "How long have you been awake?"

"Not long," Keith said with a shrug. "I realized it was Christmas finally, and I was excited."

Shiro smiled. Keith got up off the couch. They'd fallen asleep there together last night, watching Christmas movies on TV. "I'm going to get your present," he said, and disappeared into his room. Shiro chuckled and got up to grab Keith's gift as well. Keith was waiting for him in the living room when he returned, holding a badly wrapped package in his hands. "Sorry I suck with wrapping paper," he said, grinning.

Shiro chuckled. "Not a problem." He held his gift out to Keith, and Keith took it, looking nervous. "Merry Christmas, Keith."

Keith smiled at him and ripped open his gift, gasping. Shiro watched as Keith pulled out the picture frame, his fingers trailing over the photo. It was the picture of Keith and his father, that they had pulled out of his ruined house.

"I hope you don't mind," Shiro said as Keith stared at it. "I scanned your photo, and then I had it touched up a bit so you could see it a bit better, and bigger. And framed it, of course."

"Shiro...." Keith looked up at him, and then hugged the photo frame, his eyes shining. "I...thank you."

"You're welcome," Shiro told him, and Keith hugged him tightly. They broke apart after a moment, and Keith looked back down at the photo, a small, sad but loving smile on his face. He wiped his eyes and then handed Shiro his poorly wrapped gift.

"Merry Christmas," he told Shiro.

Shiro opened his gift, and his heart fluttered a bit when he saw the title of the book in his hands. "1984," he said, unable to keep the smile off his face, the memories of meeting Keith in the library that day flooding back to him. The closer he looked at the book, he realized how old it was. He flipped the book over in his hands, almost puzzled. "Is-is this-?"

"First edition," Keith said with a big smile. "I thought it would be good for your book collection."

"Keith," Shiro gasped, just wondering how much money a book like this could have cost him, and opened it. Keith had put a post it note on the inside of the book, rather than writing in it.

" _If you loved someone, you loved him, and when you had nothing else to give, you still gave him love_ ," Shiro read out, and by the time he got to the last word, he too had tears in his eyes. 

"You've given me so much," Keith told him, his finger's tracing his father's happy face. He looked back up at Shiro. "You've given me so much when I had nothing to give you but myself. And I can never tell you how thankful I am for you every day. I felt like I was drowning for so long, just barely keeping my head above the water. Sometimes I still feel like that. But then you are there, and I can breathe again. And I don't know if I can ever properly explain to you what it means to me. I wish that I could give you something the way you have for me."

"Your love is the best thing I could ever have," Shiro told him, and he kissed Keith, their tears mixing together. Shiro hoped that some day, Keith would believe him when he said those words. He hoped that some day  Keith would realize how much Shiro needed him, just like Keith needed Shiro. Shiro felt like he could face anything as long as Keith was there at his side. 

"So do you like it?" Keith asked when they broke apart, and Shiro laughed. 

"Yes," he said, pulling Keith into his arms. "I love it, and I love you."

Keith smiled. "I love you. Merry Christmas, Shiro."

"Merry Christmas, Keith."

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "If you loved someone, you loved him, and when you had nothing else to give, you still gave him love," is of course a quote from George Orwell's 1984. 
> 
> <3


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> New Years <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry my posts have been slower lately, I've been quite busy!! Hope you enjoy the chapter <3

"All right, I know this is going to sound crazy," Lance said, pausing to take a deep breath, "but...I'm going to ask Allura to marry me."

Shiro choked on his drink, and Keith just stared. They were sitting at their normal booth in Sara's diner. Shiro had assumed, when Lance asked him and Keith to meet him at the diner, it would be to talk about some sort of crazy New Years plans, since New Years Eve was just two days away. The last thing he was expecting to hear from his best friend was that he was about to propose.

"You think I'm crazy," Lance said, looking defeated.

"No," Shiro said quickly. "I'm just...surprised. I mean...are you sure that you guys are ready for that?"

"I think that we are," Lance said with a shrug. "I mean, we've known each other for what, three years? And we've been dating for over a year, and we live together....I don't know, it just feels right. It's about to be a new year, and it's the year we finally graduate. New beginnings, right? And I know that I want to be with her. I can't picture my life without her."

Shiro looked at Keith, who was smiling at Lance. "Well," Shiro said, "I love Allura, and I know you both make each other happy. So, I support you in this."

"So do I," Keith put in. "Allura is great, and I know she loves you."

Lance looked so happy, Shiro couldn't help but smile. "Thanks guys," he said, looking a bit relieved. "I know we're young and all, but it feels right. Plus we probably won't actually get married for a while, especially with the semester starting and graduation."

"When are you going to ask her?" Keith asked.

"On New Years," Lance said. "I've been saving up for months to get her a ring." He pulled it out and showed it to them. It was gold, with a small white diamond. "It's not very fancy," Lance said, blushing a bit. "But Allura's never really cared for extravagance anyway. I think she'll like it."

Shiro couldn't help but feel proud of his best friend. He'd come a long way since their crazy partying in freshman year.

"Anyway, Shiro, I hope you'll be my best man," Lance said, putting the ring back in his pocket.

"Of course," Shiro said with a smile.

Lance looked like he could cry. "And Keith,” he said, “if you would be one of my groomsmen, along with Hunk.”

”Me?” Keith asked, pointing at himself and looking around as if there was another Keith. 

Lance rolled his eyes. “Yes, you. You are part of the family, remember. Unless you’d rather be one of Allura’s bridesmaids.” 

Shiro laughed, and Keith went a bit pink. “Yes, I will,” Keith said. “I mean, be a groomsmen. I’d be happy to.” 

Lance grinned. “Thank you, guys. I’m happy you’ll be up there with me. Do me a favor and just keep it between us for now. I’m gonna tell Hunk and Pidge as soon as I can see them.”

“Your secret’s safe,” Shiro promised. “I’m proud of you. And I can’t wait to see you two get married.”

Lance got up and hugged them both. “You guys are the best,” he said, and Shiro was sure Lance was crying now. 

After they ate Keith and Shiro headed back home. Shiro was honestly still a bit shocked by Lance’s proposal idea, but he was happy, and excited, and quite honored to be his best man. He couldn’t keep the smile off of his face. 

Keith had seemed a bit quiet, lost in his thoughts. “What are you thinking about?” Shiro asked him. 

Keith looked around at him, giving him a small smile. “Just thinking about Lance and Allura,” he said. “And, well...I don’t know. It’s a bit crazy to me to see how they’ve planned their future. I’ve never really thought about the future that much.”

 “Me neither, honestly,” Shiro admitted. “I haven’t really thought too much about it, aside from finishing school and having an idea of where I’d like to work.”

Keith looked away again. “So...what’s going to happen, after you graduate? And Pidge and Hunk...I mean, do you all plan on staying together at the house?”

 Shiro shifted in his seat. “Well, we haven’t really talked about it yet. I guess we were just planning to figure it out as we go. It’ll probably depend on where we get work, and whatever else happens.”

Shiro pulled into the driveway, and they both sat there for a moment. “I guess that makes sense,” Keith said with a sigh, not looking at him. “I just...I know that I’ll be here, with school and all. I just...feel like it won’t be the same without you all.”

Shiro frowned. “We’ll still all be friends, even if we aren’t in school anymore,” he said. “And I’ll still be here with you. I don’t plan on just leaving you behind.”

Keith looked at him, and Shiro realized that was _exactly_ what Keith had been thinking. 

“Keith,” Shiro said, grabbing his hand. “ I don’t know what the future will bring right now. Maybe we’ll live in a different house. Maybe I’ll get a good job, or maybe it’ll take months for me to find something. I don’t know those things. But I do know that I want to be with you. That is one thing I’m sure of.”

Keith smiled at him. “Okay,” he said at last. But there was something in Keith’s voice that told Shiro that Keith didn’t believe him. But Shiro could see that he wanted to. 

* * *

 “I feel so much pressure right now,” Hunk said nervously as he pulled a cake out of the oven.

 “Why?” Keith asked, leaning against the kitchen counter. 

“I want the night to be perfect!” Hunk exclaimed, carefully sitting the cake down. “It’s not every night two of your best friends get engaged!”

Keith smiled as he watched Hunk fret. It was New Years Eve, and Lance and Allura would be over in a couple hours. Hunk had decided to make a cake to celebrate, and they had all decorated the living room with New Years decorations. They had gone out and gotten a good amount of alcohol as well, though Keith doubted they needed so much. Everyone seemed a bit nervous, and Keith had to admit he felt it himself. It was exciting, to think about Allura and Lance getting engaged. He’d never been to a wedding before, but the thought of it was beautiful to him. He had never thought about marriage himself. But he could imagine Allura all made up in a white dress, and Lance’s goofy grin as she walked down the aisle toward him, and it made Keith’s heart soar. He was touched that Lance had asked him to be a part of it. 

Pidge was getting things ready as well. Lance had asked her to put together some music, as well as recording the proposal. She had set up a tripod in the living room, and had been playing around on her computer making a playlist. Keith felt awkward, not sure what to do with himself, and Shiro was getting ready. He wandered back to his room, and sat down on his bed. His eyes fell on the framed photo of him and his dad, which he had sat on his bedside table. He picked it up and studied it. 

Keith had never really thought about the future because the future had never been promised. Obviously, his dad hadn’t expected to die so young, and to leave his son without a family or a home. When Keith was growing up, he never really thought of a life outside of group homes and school. As he’d said on his birthday, he hadn’t even been sure if he’d be around this long. Perhaps it was his father’s early death, and Keith’s habit of getting himself into trouble, but he’d always just sort of assumed that life was short, and he just lived moment to moment. 

When he applied to college, and turned eighteen, it was the first time he’d ever imagined anything in the future. He certainly hadn’t believed he would be where he was now, in a real home with people he loved. But he had wanted something better. But even then, he had still taken everything a step at a time. Applying to college. Buying a car. Saving money to get a roof over his head. He couldn't even pick a major. He was planning for his future to be better, and that was all. 

But now, he found himself thinking even farther into the future. He was starting to think about what exactly he wanted to do with his education. He was thinking about future jobs he might want to have. He wondered if he’d leave Pennsylvania, and move somewhere new and exciting. And he thought about Shiro. He thought about them a year from now, or two. Would they be like Lance and Allura, getting their own place? Building their future together? 

It seemed silly to think about, but it also made Keith happy. 

He looked at his father’s happy face. He wondered if his father would be proud of him. 

It frightened him, to plan for a future, like it would jinx things or something. But at the same time, it felt rather exhilarating. 

Shiro knocked on the door, leaning in the doorframe and drying his hair with a towel. "Was helping Hunk too much?" he asked with a grin. 

Keith chuckled. "I wasn't really helping," he admitted. "Hunk was pretty in the zone with his baking."

Shiro joined him on the bed. "Have you thought about your New Years resolution?"

Keith snorted and shook his head. "I've never really done that. I always thought it was kind of pointless. You?"

Shiro grinned. "I always say something every year, but I never really follow through with it."

"What are you thinking for this year?" Keith asked. 

"Hmm." Shiro looked at the ceiling, thinking. "I guess just to make sure I graduate and have good grades. Maybe to find a job. Like, a real job."

"I don't think you'll have any problems," Keith told him. "Your grades from the last semester were good, and you know you'll graduate with good grades. I bet you'll find an awesome job, too. Any place would be lucky to have you."

Shiro smiled. "Let's hope my future career choices think that way," he laughed. "I'm thinking about doing some volunteering this last semester, since my classes shouldn't be too time consuming."

"What kind of volunteering?" Keith asked. 

Shiro smiled a bit nervously. "I was thinking of looking into a youth program."

Shiro always seemed a bit nervous mentioning certain things around Keith, like he was afraid he would offend him or bring up a bad memory. But honestly, it just made Keith love Shiro more to know that he cared about things like youth programs. Keith had always felt like no one cared when he was younger. It would have helped to have a friendly face like Shiro. 

"Well," Keith said, "I mean, I know of some places that you could look. There's this community center I used to go to that always looks for volunteers. A lot of kids hang out there, especially when they are trying to do good. I could get you the information."

Shiro's smile was warm as always. "I'd like that." He stood up. "I'm gonna finish getting ready. It should be safe to come out now, I think everything is about ready."

Shiro was almost out the door when Keith called after him. "Hey, Shiro?"

He stopped and looked back. "I don't know if this counts as a resolution," Keith said, feeling a bit embarrassed. "But...I want start thinking about the future more. Maybe pick a major at least."

Shiro grinned. "I think that counts."

* * *

 Keith ended up on his phone, scrolling through degree programs the school offered. There were so many to choose from, and a lot that looked interesting to him. He was bookmarking different programs when there was a knock at his door. He jumped, lost in his own little world. He realized it was getting close to time for Lance and Allura to arrive, and he hadn't even changed yet. 

"Uh- come in," he said, jumping out of bed and looking through his clothes. 

The door opened and he glanced to see who it was. He was surprised to see Veronica poking her head in. 

"Hey," she said with a grin. "Can I come in?"

"Yeah," he said, a shirt in each hand. She came in and sat down on his bed. He hadn't seen her since before his attack, and he felt a bit self conscious around her. 

"The black one is better," she said, and he realized she was looking at the shirts he was holding out. 

"Cool," he said with a nervous grin, and put the other one away. "I didn't know you were coming. I should be ready by now, but I got distracted."

"You have time, I'm a bit early," she told him. "I wanted to see you before the party started."

"Oh." He sat down, throwing the black shirt back down on his bed. "You wanted to see me?"

She rolled her eyes in a very Lance-like way. "Yes, I wanted to see you. I haven't seen you since break started. I mean, I heard what happened, but I wasn't sure...anyway, how have you been? Are you feeling better?"

He nodded, trying to ignore the anxiety bubbling in his chest. "I'm better," he told her. I'm...some days are better than others. My ribs are a lot better, and only really hurt if I move the wrong way or do something I shouldn't, or it's first thing in the morning. My head will just kind of hit me out of no where, even if it feels fine for days." He shrugged. "It could be worse, so."

"That's one way to look at it, I suppose," she said with a dry laugh. "Have you talked to Coran about coming back to work?"

Keith nodded. "I'm going to start back next week. I'm going to just work some short shifts, and still be on light duty, but I'm hoping I'll be able to work my way back to where I was."

"I'm glad," she said, and she looked it. "I've been worried about you. It's a little sad, you not being there."

"Really?" he asked. He never really talked to anyone at work, and he really didn't think that they would care if he was there or not. 

Veronica laughed. "Of course! You're one of the nicest people there, and you are a hard worker. I've been having to work with Albert since you've been gone, and you know how awful he can be."

Keith grinned. "I'm looking forward to coming back, and school starting as well. I've kind of been stuck here, and....I really haven't had anything to do, or keep my mind off...things. Shiro's great, of course, and Hunk and Pidge. But...."

"You need the distraction?" she guessed, and he nodded. "I understand. I'm hoping work, and school will help. And I'll be there, at work, if you need anything. Coran too. I know he understands. You can always talk to me if things start getting tough."

Keith had always liked Veronica; she'd been one of his only coworkers to not treat him like he was weird or even scary. He hadn't really realized that she had liked him as well, and it made him feel a little bit better to know that he'd have another person on his side. He wasn't sure what to expect in going back to work and school after everything that had happened, but at least he knew he wasn't alone.

"Thanks, Veronica," he told her, and she smiled and stood up. 

"No problem. I'll let you get ready." She hesitated there for a moment, and then bent down and hugged him. He hugged her back, and the anxiety in his chest lessened. 

Once he was dressed and ready, he joined the others in the living room. Shiro smiled widely when he saw Keith, and Keith went straight into his arms. You would think that living together, they would have been tired of each other, but Shiro never failed to smile when Keith walked into the room. 

Pidge and Hunk were there as well, and Veronica. Hunk had made some amazing buffalo chicken dip in addition to his cake, and they were all sitting around, eating it. Lance and Allura arrived about twenty minutes later, Lance looking nervous, dressed up a bit in dress pants and a button up with a bowtie. Allura looked beautiful in a golden dress that sparkled in the light, and Keith couldn't help but feel excited. Hunk poured them all some champagne, and Lance pretty much chugged his, and Veronica had to scold him. Allura seemed quite oblivious to Lance's nerves, distracted by telling them about her Christmas holiday with her family. Keith started to wonder if Lance was chickening out, as the night went on and it was getting closer to midnight. He tried to catch Lance's eye and give him a thumbs up. Lance smiled rather weakly and returned a shaky thumbs up. 

"Allura," he said at last, more loudly than needed. "I need to talk to you."

Pidge rolled her eyes and fiddled with her computer, putting on the music he had requested. 

"Britney Spears?" Allura said with a laugh, looking around at Lance. "This is the song we danced to the night I met you at that party, remember? The 90's party freshman year?"

"I do remember," he replied with a grin. He looked at Shiro, who smiled and nodded, pressing record on the camera. 

"You were so funny, and drunk," Allura laughed. "But I knew I liked you. No one had ever made me laugh like you did."

Lance took a deep breath. He simply looked at Allura a moment, her smile bright, and he seemed to relax. 

"I knew I liked you, too," he told her. "I never thought a girl as beautiful as you would like me, but you did. And then, you even grew to love me. Sometimes I look at you and wonder how I could have ever gotten so lucky, to find someone who loves me the way that you do."

"Lance," she said softly, and her eyes widened as he stood up, pulling her with him, and got down on one knee. She gasped, her eyes watering, placing her hands over her mouth. 

"I know that we're young," he said, "but this year coming up is all about change. And even though things are changing, one thing I am sure of is that I want you by my side, every day. Allura, you've made me a better person that I ever knew I could be. You make me happy, and you put up with me when I'm ridiculous, and you never stop loving me. You're...you're my everything. You're my family, and I don't that to ever change. I love you, Allura."

"I love you too," she whispered. 

He smiled, and pulled the little golden ring out of his pocket. "I want to spend the rest of my life with you," he told her, taking her hand. "So...will you marry me?"

Keith realized he was holding his breath, squeezing Shiro's hand. The whole room seemed to be holding their breaths and watching, Veronica with tears streaming down her face. 

"Yes," Allura said, with a laugh, wiping her eyes. "Yes, of course I will."

Lance grinned widely, slipping the ring on her finger and the standing up and twirling her in the air, as everyone cheered. Shiro pulled Keith close to him and hugged him, and Veronica and Hunk were hugging each other and crying as Pidge clapped. Keith felt so happy, he was sure his heart would burst with the amount of excitement in the room. Soon Lance was hugging him and Shiro both, crying " _She said yes_!" and then Allura came and hugged them, unable to stop smiling or crying. Everyone was hugging one another excitedly, and Keith was filled with a new sense of hope, like love could conquer anything as long as you had the people who loved you by your side.

"It's almost midnight!" Hunk cried, and they all filled their glasses again. "To Allura and Lance!" he cheered, and they all raised their glasses as they counted down the seconds.

Five, four, three, two, one....the clock stuck midnight, and they all cried "Happy New Year!" Shiro leaned in and kissed him, and Keith felt like he was above the clouds.

His friends were getting married, he had the one person who he loved more than anything at his side, and a new year pull of new possibilities was in front of them.  It was like nothing bad could touch them in that moment.  


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is sort of a filler chapter, but I hope you enjoy nonetheless <3

Keith packed up his backpack, feeling nervous. The first day of the semester had finally come, and his first class started in about an hour. He'd been up super early, unable to sleep in like he had wanted to. He looked at himself in the mirror. He had bags under his eyes from not getting enough sleep. The cut on his head had healed enough that when he moved his hair, it wasn't even noticeable. He didn't look too bad, so maybe he wouldn't attract too much attention. He wanted nothing more than to quietly slide into his classes, sit in the back, and avoid contact with others as much as possible. He wasn't sure exactly why he felt so nervous; it's not like everyone knew what had happened to him, or even cared. He just wasn't sure what to expect from himself. He felt okay when he was home with Shiro, or Pidge or Hunk. He'd returned to work a few nights ago, and had been okay there as well, though Veronica had been there with him. 

But he couldn't be around the ones he knew and trusted twenty four/seven. He'd need to learn how to be okay on his own again, and the only way to get to that point was to try. 

"Hey." Shiro appeared in his door, his bag over his shoulder. "Do you want to head in together?"

"I thought your classes weren't until the afternoon?" Keith asked him. 

"They aren't," Shiro replied. "But I'm heading into the library. They asked me to come in and help out, and I figured I had the time." 

Keith smiled, feeling a bit relieved that Shiro would be there at least for a few moments. He picked up his backpack, and Shiro stepped across the room in a couple long strides, taking it for him. 

"You aren't supposed to lift heavy things!" Shiro scolded him, when Keith looked at him with a raised eyebrow. 

"It's not that heavy," Keith responded, trying to grab it from him. "And it's not like you can carry my books between every class anyway."

Shiro sighed as Keith pulled the bag out of his hands with a grin. "You are stubborn," he said, shaking his head. 

"So are you," Keith replied, and Shiro smiled and pulled him into his arms. Keith wasn't expecting it, but he relaxed into the hug easily, wrapping his arms around Shiro. 

"Are you okay?" Shiro asked him. 

Keith sighed. "I will be."

Shiro kissed the top of his head. "You can text me or call me anytime. I don't care when."

Keith wished he could just stay there with Shiro all day, but he knew he couldn't, and reluctantly he let go. "I will," he told him, though Keith probably wouldn't. How was he ever supposed to pull himself together if he had to text or call Shiro every five minutes? Shiro already had enough to deal with, especially with this being his last semester. 

Pidge and Hunk were both still home when they were leaving. Hunk gave him a bag full of cookies, letting him know he had more in the kitchen. Pidge offered to meet him on campus later, even though she usually just went straight home after class. Keith wasn't expecting their kindness, but he was grateful for it. He had hoped he'd been hiding his anxiety over returning to classes, but apparently he hadn't hidden it as well as he thought he had. 

The sun was out, reflecting off the snow and making it sparkle. Keith thought about the first day the snow had fallen, and how he had twirled in the yard in excitement. It at least made him smile. It already seemed like so long ago. 

Shiro walked him all the way to his class, until they were outside the classroom. "Well, good luck," he said with an encouraging grin. "Biology isn't so bad, and from what I know the teacher is pretty cool."

That really didn't help Keith feel better, but he appreciated the effort. "Thank you for coming with me," he said. "I'll text you when I'm out."

Shiro smiled and squeezed his hand. Keith took a deep breath and headed inside the classroom, trying his best to ignore the anxiety building up inside of him. He sat in the back of the classroom and pulled out his book and a notebook. No one paid him any attention, and that helped a bit. He looked out the window and tried to focus on calming himself with deep breaths. Before he knew it, the classroom filled and the professor started to speak, telling them her name and her information, passing out a syllabus to them all. Keith looked over the syllabus. It looked standard enough, though this was his first class that required lab time. The teacher then asked them to open their books, and dived right into her first lesson. 

Keith had spent some time reading over the break, but he found that he'd never been able to concentrate well enough and often gave up after a few minutes. He hadn't really thought much of it, with everything that had happened. But he began to realize as the class went on that the same thing was happening. He understood what he was reading, but it was as if the information left as soon as it came. He wasn't retaining anything he read or the teacher said. The anxiety in his chest was building, making it painful to breathe. He tried to close his eyes and calm himself, but it didn't help. By the time the class ended, he basically pushed his way out of the room, probably angering his classmates, and ran until he found a quiet spot away from others. He leaned against a wall, feeling ashamed as tears welled up in his eyes. 

Great, this was just how he wanted his first day back to go. He felt alone and afraid, surrounded by people. He couldn't get his brain to focus on anything, and his panic was taking over. He had hoped class would be a good distraction, but it ended up being just the opposite. He'd never had issues with his comprehension before. Learning had been the one that had always come easy to him. And now he felt like he was losing that, too. 

"Keith?"

Keith flinched as if the sound of his name pained him. Lance stood in front of him, looking concerned. Keith had no idea where he had come from or how he knew Keith was there, huddled at the end of the hallway near a staircase. 

"What happened?" Lance asked him. 

Keith just shook his head, hugging his backpack to him. Lance sighed and looked around. "Do you- do you want me to call Shiro?"

"N-no!" Keith gasped, grabbing Lance's arm. "Don't call him. I'm fine."

Lance raised his eyebrows. "I don't think you are 'fine.' I saw you running down the hall like someone was chasing you." He sighed. "Come on. Let's find somewhere to sit."

Keith followed Lance, keeping his head down and trying not to look at anyone. They found some armchairs on the first floor of the building, and no one was around. They were in front of a window, the sun shining in on them. Keith sat down and hugged his backpack to him. Lance sat as well, leaning forward. 

"What happened?" he asked again. 

Keith shrugged. "I just...I get nervous," he said, feeling stupid. "I can't really explain it."

"Since...since the attack in the alley?" Lance asked carefully, and Keith nodded. 

"Only really when I'm alone," Keith said. "When I'm with you guys I'm okay. It just...I don't know why it happens."

"Well, given what you went through, it's not that surprising," Lance told him. "I can imagine how on-edge you just feel."

"And I can't...concentrate," Keith told him, squeezing his backpack harder. "The teacher was talking, and I was reading along, and I have no idea what she was talking about. I understood, but I...I don't remember. I don't know."

He groaned and buried his face in his hands. He felt Lance place his hand on his shoulder. 

"Look, Keith," he said. "Like I said, you went through a lot. You also banged your head up pretty bad, so I'm sure that isn't helping anything. Maybe you should talk to someone. Have you been to the doctor recently?"

Keith shook his head. "Well, I think you should consider it," Lance said. "It's nothing to be ashamed of."

If only it was that easy to not be ashamed of feeling so weak. Keith looked back up at Lance, already feeling exhausted, and the day had barely started. 

"Do you have another class?" Lanced asked him. 

Keith nodded. "In like forty minutes."

"Okay." Lance leaned back. "I'll sit with you until you have to go."

Keith felt his face flush. "You don't have to."

"I know I don't," Lance replied. "But I want to."

Keith sighed. He suddenly remembered Hunk's cookies, and pulled them out of his bag. They were a bit squished, but still tasted good. He offered them silently to Lance who took one and ate it in one bite.

"I love Hunk's cookies," he said with a small grin, and Keith returned it. He was feeling a bit better, but he had no desire to walk inside another classroom. He knew that he had to. He didn't want to miss the first day of any classes, even if they barely went over anything. Perhaps it would get easier, every class he went to. Perhaps his troubles with concentrating were just due to his anxiety.

"Have you talked to Shiro about it?" Lance asked.

Keith sighed and gave a half-hearted shrug. "Not really. I...I don't want to worry him."

Lance snorted. "He's going to worry even if you are perfectly fine. He's always been a worrier. He cares too much for his own good. But I guess that's why we love him." Lance smiled. "You should talk to him."

"I will," Keith said automatically. "When...when I'm ready."

Lance sighed but didn't push it. They sat there eating the cookies until it was time to head to his next class. Lance even walked with him, and clapped his shoulder before he left. "You think you'll be okay?"

Keith smiled tiredly. "I'll try. Thanks, for sitting with me."

"Anytime," Lance said, and Keith turned away, trying his best to ready himself for another hour long class. 

Perhaps the cookies helped, or perhaps it was because he was more prepared, but Keith's second class wasn't as bad as his first. He still felt uneasy, and he also still had difficulty trying to comprehend things. He had to read sentences several times over, writing them out, for them to start to make sense. It was incredibly frustrating, and it left him feeling mentally exhausted. When the class was finally over, he escaped as quickly as he could, feeling a bit relieved. He didn't have any other classes that day, and didn't have to be anywhere until the evening for his work shift. 

Shiro had texted him while he was in his class. At first Keith was worried Lance had said something, but Shiro was just letting him know he wasn't out of class until one o'clock. Keith still had about an hour, so he headed to the library, finding his usual spot. He folded his arms and lay his head down, using his backpack as a cushion. Perhaps Lance was right; maybe he should go talk to a doctor. He hated doctors, hospitals, medicine- any of it. But he also hated feeling this way. He sighed, closing his eyes. At least no one would bother him, here. The quiet and the comfort the library brought him helped him relax. 

He must had relaxed too much, because the next thing he knew, Shiro was there, his hand on Keith's shoulder. "Hey," he said quietly, with a small smile. "I've been looking for you."

Keith sat up and blinked. He had just barely laid his head down, or so he had thought. "What- what time is it?"

"About one-thirty," Shiro replied. He brushed Keith's hair back with his fingers. "How did it go?"

Keith sighed and rubbed his eyes. "Could have gone better."

Shiro sat down. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Keith swallowed and shook his head. "I'm okay. I'm just ready to get out of here."

Shiro still looked concerned. Keith hated when Shiro worried over him. He felt like he was always worrying him these days. 

"Can we go for a drive?" he asked Shiro. "I can show you that rec center I was talking about."

Shiro smiled. "I'd like that."

* * *

 Keith felt strange as they arrived in the neighborhood he spent most of his teenage years in. They were on the east side of the city, a good forty minutes from their comfy little house. The neighborhood was a little rough here; the houses were run down and the streets were unclean. As ugly as it was, it was still the only home that Keith had known. 

They pulled up in front of the rec center, Shiro looking a bit nervous. Keith stepped out of the car, feeling like he was young again. It hadn't even been that long since he'd been back here; he'd lived in the group home until he was eighteen. But he felt older. He felt different. The person he was today was different than even the eighteen year old who had left these streets a year ago.

"The group home I lived in was just down this street," Keith said as Shiro stood next to him. "I used to spend a lot of time here after school, and then walk back to the group home from here. I liked the rec center, because, usually, no one bothered me. I was able to escape a bit, I guess. The staff would talk with me, sometimes. They were always pretty cool."

Shiro smiled at him. "I'm glad you had a place to go," he told him, taking Keith's hand. Keith smiled, too. He had been afraid coming back here might be painful, but he actually felt quite nostalgic. He led Shiro up the sidewalk and into the front of the building. Keith realized with a jolt that the man at the front desk was someone who'd worked there when Keith used to come. His name was Iverson, and he looked intimidating, but had always been really nice to Keith. 

"Well I'll be," Iverson said when he saw Keith standing there. "Keith, my boy! How have you been?"

"Uh- good," he said, blushing a bit. "Nice to see you still work here."

"Of course I do," Iverson said with a grin. "What have you been up to?"

"College," Keith said, and he felt a bit proud to say it. "I just started my second semester today."

Iverson grinned widely at him. "I always knew you'd do good," he said, coming around the desk and pulling Keith into a hug. "I still think about you, from time to time, and I was hoping you were doing well. I'm proud of you."

"Thanks," Keith said awkwardly, though he was pleased. Iverson let go of him and held out his hand to Shiro. 

"Who's your friend?" Iverson asked. 

"Takashi Shirogane," Shiro said with a smile. "I told Keith I was interested in volunteering for a youth program, and he brought me here."

"Nice to meet you," Iverson said, shaking his hand. "My name's Iverson, and I'm always happy to see a new volunteer. Are you a student?"

"Yes, I graduate this spring," Shiro answered. 

"Are you looking to volunteer as well?" Iverson asked Keith. 

"No," Keith said quickly. "Not...not right now, at least. I'm a bit busy."

"No worries," Iverson said, patting him on the shoulder. He went around the desk and pulled out some papers. "Well, our youth program runs from two to seven every afternoon," he said to Shiro. "And we have morning hours on the weekends. Ages are seven and up. We have a bunch of games, TVs, sports, even cooking classes. Let me show you, though I'm sure Keith could give you the tour himself."

Keith and Shiro followed Iverson around. Keith did know the center well enough to give a tour of it. He remembered watching TV, sitting away from the other kids. He would shoot a basketball around in the basketball courts, always alone, but never minding it. He'd even tried the cooking classes before, but he hadn't enjoyed them too much. He kind of felt like he'd grown up there, and as rough as things had been for him, he realized that most nights, he'd been quite happy there. It really had been his escape, the couple hours after school he'd spend there every day. 

When the tour was over, Iverson gave Shiro an application. "You can bring this back anytime," he told Shiro. "Even if it's only a couple hours a week, it's still something. We'd be happy to have you."

"Thank you," Shiro said with a smile. "I'll fill this out tonight."

"Good," Iverson said. "And Keith, I'd like to have you here someday as well, if you can fit the time in."

"I'll keep it in mind," Keith told him, and Iverson seemed satisfied. They said their goodbyes, and trekked back out to Shiro's car. 

"He was pretty awesome," Shiro said as they got in. "Thank you for bringing me. I think this will be a good start for me."

"I'm glad." Keith smiled at him. "It is a pretty cool place to be."

Shiro smiled as well. He reached out and tucked Keith's hair behind his ear. It was always the small gestures, the gentle touches, that Keith loved most. Shiro started the car and the pulled off onto the street. Keith watched the familiar streets pass, and his heart felt both heavy and light at the same time.

"I always hated it here," he told Shiro as they drove. "But now when I look at it...it was all I had. And I can't really hate it anymore."

Shiro found his hand and squeezed it. "It made you who you are today, after all."

Keith hadn't really thought of it that way. But it was true. All of his struggles, his anger and pain, had led him to be the person he was today. And he _had_ changed. He wasn't the angry kid with the broken heart anymore. The pain was still there, at the edges of his heart. But there was love there now, as well. 

"I struggled today," he told Shiro. "I had some sort of...anxiety attack, I guess, during my first class. And....And I'm having trouble concentrating on my work. I had to keep reading things over and over to understand them."

Shiro frowned. "I read that some people have cognitive issues after head injuries," he said with a sigh. Of course Shiro had researched about his head injury. "And the anxiety...well, after what happened...." Shiro's grip tightened on the steering wheel. "Maybe we should talk to someone at the school, see what we can do to make it easier on you."

Keith didn't fail to notice that Shiro used _we_ instead of _you_. Even though it wasn't Shiro's problem, he was still there and ready to help him. 

"I love you," Keith said, without really thinking about it. Shiro looked at him, a small smile on his face, and Keith felt his cheeks go red. 

"I love you, too," Shiro replied. "We'll figure this out, okay? Don't worry."

Keith's heart fluttered in his chest. He was always afraid of sharing his troubles with Shiro, not wanting to place any unneeded burden on him. But Shiro never treated him like a burden. He was always so calm and reassuring, like no battle was too hard. He worried, yes, but he never panicked or lost his cool. Keith admired Shiro's strength. Just another one of the many things that made him love Shiro more and more, every day. 

Later that day, Keith called and set up an appointment with his neurologist. He sent a couple emails out as well to his professors, letting them know his situation. Shiro sat with him the whole time, his steady support calming Keith's nerves. "I'm proud of you," Shiro told him as he shut the laptop with a sigh. 

"For what?" Keith asked him incredulously. 

Shiro smiled. "For learning when to ask for help."

Keith chuckled. "I don't think that's something to be proud of."

Shiro intertwined his finger's with Keith's. "Sometimes the bravest thing a person can do is admit they need help," he said softly. He kissed Keith on the forehead. "Especially someone who is as stubborn as you."

Keith laughed, but his heart soared. He'd never thought of himself as being brave, and he'd felt quite the opposite lately. But Shiro thought he was brave. 

Somehow, Shiro only ever saw the best in him. And it just made Keith want to be even better. 


	15. Chapter 15

Shiro stood in the library, watching Keith work. He was supposed to reorganizing the bookshelf in front of him, as people kept throwing books everywhere except where they were supposed to go. But he couldn't help but watch Keith, who was oblivious to everything around him, his brow furrowed in concentration. It had been a couple weeks since the semester started, and things had been going pretty well for them. Thanks to help from his doctor, his professors, and the on campus counseling services, Keith had been able to find a system that was working for him. So far it he was doing a lot better. One thing that seemed to help was recording his lectures. Keith would spend his evening re-listening to his professors, re-reading over notes and his textbooks. He still got frustrated often, but it was getting easier for him. His anxiety seemed to have lessened as well. Shiro had been doing his best to support Keith, and Pidge and Hunk had been helping as well, especially when Keith was struggling to understand something they were familiar with. They basically had big roommate study parties, and Keith seemed to love it.

Things weren't perfect, but they were living with it, and they were doing okay. 

Keith was still taking short shifts at the diner. He had wanted to take on longer hours, but Shiro had told him it was best that Keith focus more on his schoolwork right now, and reluctantly, Keith agreed. Shiro felt like he was seeing Keith less than he had the previous semester, even though they still lived under the same roof. Shiro had a lighter class load for his last semester, which was nice. But he still had his work at the library, and now he was working a few hours a week at the rec center. Shiro had enjoyed his first two shifts there. On his last shift, he had fun working in arts and crafts with some of the younger kids, making Valentines Day decorations to put up around the rec center. Shiro found he really did enjoy working with the kids, and was looking forward to going back. But he hated that he had less time to spend with Keith, especially when things had been so difficult for him lately. Keith seemed to be doing okay though, and they still found time to spend together when they could. 

"I wish I could get paid to stare at my boyfriend all day," Romelle whispered in his ear, making Shiro jump. Romelle giggled. 

"I wasn't...I was just checking on him," Shiro said defensively. 

"Well at least try to look like your working, before Mrs. Ruth bans him from the library for being too much of a distraction," Romelle said with a grin. "Is he doing better, then? He seems to be working hard."

"He's doing better," Shiro said. "He's not where he used to be, but he's getting there." Shiro turned back to the bookshelf. "I don't get to see him as much, though, with the new volunteer work and everything."

"Is that why you have taken to staring at him in the library?" Romelle joked, and Shiro didn't answer. "I'm just kidding. Maybe you should plan a day out with him, then. Get away from work and school for a bit. Try to plan a time every week that's just for the two of you. Maybe even plan a trip somewhere or something."

Shiro considered it. It wasn't a bad idea, and it would give them both something to look forward to. "I might try that," he said, looking back at Keith again, a small smile on his face. 

Romelle sighed. "If I ever find someone who looks at me the way you look at him, I'm never going to let him go."

* * *

 "Oh god this is awful," Pidge laughed, her nose smudged with flour. 

"It's just a cake, how hard can it be?" Keith replied, but they were both so terrible at anything involving the kitchen that it was possible that it could turn out quite terrible. 

It was Hunk's birthday. Shiro was at his volunteer job, and Hunk was in a late class, so Keith and Pidge were doing their best to get things ready for Hunk's birthday party. Decorating had been easy enough, and Keith had figured that baking a cake would be easy enough as well, but so far, he had been mistaken. 

"We should just ask Lance to buy a cake on his way here," Keith finally sighed, looking at the goop that was supposed to be their cake dough. 

"A store bought cake for the baker," Pidge said with a snort. "He's going to judge us."

"I'm sure he will appreciate that we tried," Keith said with a laugh. "At least we know not to try next time."

"I'm going to need Hunk to live with me the rest of my life, so I don't starve," Pidge sighed as she threw the goopy dough in the trash. 

"Maybe we should have Hunk give us lessons."

"I'd rather he just keep cooking for me."

Keith laughed. He was excited for another birthday party with his friends. They hadn't all gotten together since New Years, thanks to everyone's conflicting schedules. Even Keith had to leave early tonight, because he had to go to his shift at the restaurant. The past couple weeks had been an adjustment. He was spending a lot more time studying than he ever had in his life. The school had been very helpful in try to find a system that works for him, and the doctor had told him that things should get easier as time passed. Keith wasn't sure if it was really getting easier, or he was just getting used to it. But at least he didn't panic in the middle of his classes, and although his grades weren't as high as they had been the last semester, he was still doing okay. 

He really missed how easy things had been before Christmas break. He could only imagine that things would get busier, at least for his friends, as the semester went on and their graduation came closer. Sometimes Keith forgot that soon, he'd be the only one left attending classes and worrying about assignments. It made him sad to think that he wouldn't be seeing the others on campus anymore. The month of January had already flown by, and he could imagine that these last couple months would fly by as well. 

Pidge did end up asking Lance to pick up a cake for them, and after making fun of their failed attempt at baking, he did so. He and Allura arrived before Shiro or Hunk got home, bringing not only a cake, but snacks and drinks as well. Shiro arrived home shortly after, looking apologetic. 

"I made it home as fast as I could!" he told them. He wrapped his arms around Keith. "I need to talk to you about something."

Keith hated when someone said that. "What?" he asked worriedly. 

"Nothing bad!" Shiro said quickly. "Well...I was just talking to my mother on the way home. She wants me to come home for spring break, and she said you are welcome to come."

Keith stared at him. "To California?" he said, and Shiro nodded. Keith had been curious about Shiro's home, of course. He wanted to see the house he had grown up in, and the places he had hung out as a kid. But mostly Keith was a bit afraid to meet Shiro's parents, particularly Shiro's father. Shiro seemed to sense what Keith was thinking. 

"My dad has a business trip that same week, luckily," he said with a grin. "He'd be there the day we arrive, but we'll leave soon after, so we won't have to deal with him most of the trip. My mom really wants to meet you, and you wouldn't have to worry about paying for a ticket."

"I...I don't know," Keith said uncertainly. "I'd feel bad to have someone else pay for me, and...I've never travelled before...."

"Please?" Shiro begged him. "It would be a whole week we'd get together in California, and I really want you to come."

Keith sighed, unable to say no when Shiro looked at him like that. "Okay, I'll go," he said at last, and Shiro hugged him excitedly. At least a week with Shiro in California sounded like a wonderful idea, and Keith had always wanted to travel outside his home state. 

"I can't wait to tell my mom," Shiro said, beaming at him, and Keith couldn't help but feel a little excited, as well. 

 Hunk came home shortly after, grinning and hugging them all. He didn’t even seem to mind the store bought cake, though he did find it quite funny when Pidge told him about their cake failure. Keith was only able to stick around for one game of Pictionary before he had to get ready for work. He felt bad leaving, but he also was trying to stay on his boss’s good side after being out of work for so long, so he grudgingly pulled on his work uniform and tied his hair back. At least his shift was only four hours, and would go by quickly enough. 

He said goodbye to his friends and got into his car, taking the short trip to Sara’s diner. Now that the holidays had passed, things were pretty quiet again at the diner, and Keith was grateful for it. He mostly spent his nights these days washing dishes and cleaning tables, but he didn’t mind. It was easy, and somewhat relaxing for him, and he was able to do his own thing and get lost in his own thoughts. Some nights he even just listened to his recorded lectures as he worked, and it helped a lot. The diner was quiet when he got there, only a few customers, and mostly just regulars. Veronica was there, and greeted him with a big grin. 

"How was Hunk's birthday?" she asked. 

"Good, though the cake we tried to make didn't work out," he said, and she laughed. He got to work and started cleaning tables, collecting dirty dishes and taking them back to get washed. He fell into a comfortable rhythm, and started thinking about going to California with Shiro. Spring break was the first week of March, right after Shiro's birthday. The more Keith thought about it, the more excited he got. He'd always wanted to travel somewhere far and different, and he'd always seen California on TV and thought it looked nice. Plus, that would give him a whole week to hang out with Shiro, and hopefully learn even more about him. Keith was still nervous about the idea of meeting Shiro's father. He didn't like him much, from the way Shiro talked about him, and he wasn't sure if he'd be able to keep his mouth shut if he said the wrong thing to Shiro in front of him. 

Keith was so lost in his thoughts as he wiped a particularly messy table down, that he didn't realize the woman sitting at the next booth down was staring at him. It wasn't unusual, to get stared at; the long ugly scar on his cheek often got stares from the customers. He looked at her, trying to make it obvious that he had caught her staring. Usually people looked away in embarrassment, but this woman didn't. She stared right at him, looking almost as if she wanted to cry. 

Keith was suddenly struck by curiosity. The woman, with her dark hair and eyes, looked familiar for some reason. He thought at first maybe he had seen her there at the restaurant before. But then, a memory hit him out of no where like a truck. 

_He was just a child, maybe seven or eight years old. His dad was going through some of the boxes in their attic, trying to clean things out. Keith, of course, had wanted to help, and was having fun looking through the boxes to see what he could find. In one of the boxes, he finds a small photograph. The photograph is of a woman, with dark hair. She is very pretty, and she has a nice smile._

_"Dad?" he asks, frowning at the photo. "Who is in this picture?"_

_"Let's see," his father said, taking the photo from him. A strange look comes across his face as he studies the photograph, and he looks quite sad. Keith feels a bit guilty, because he doesn't like it when his dad is sad. But he also is even more curious now._

_"I haven't seen this photo in years,"his dad sighs, smiling sadly._

_"Who is she?" Keith asks._

_His dad slips the photo into his pocket. "Someone I used to know, and like very much," he says. "But we don't talk anymore."_

_"Why?" Keith insists, even though he can tell his father doesn't want to talk about it._

_His father ran his fingers through his hair, sighing heavily. "Sometimes, you can love a person a lot, but you change, and they change, and sometimes, things just get too hard. You realize that you have to go your separate ways."_

_"That's sad," Keith says with a frown._

_His father chuckles. "Yes," he agrees, ruffling Keith's hair. "But that doesn't mean it's not for the best."_

Keith is brought back to the present, leaning heavily against the table, his heart beating like a hammer in his chest. He looked back up at the woman, and realized that she was the same as the woman in the photograph. His father had kept the photo after that day, and Keith would see it when he snuck into his fathers room to look for hidden snacks. He had never asked his father about the woman again. But Keith was sure the woman in front of him was the same. She was older, perhaps, but looked the same. 

"Keith," she whispered, and his heart was gripped by some sort of strange fear, and he knew who the woman was without her having to say anything else. It all made sense, now. The way his father had looked at the photo, and kept it next to his bed. The speech about things not working out even when you love someone. Her dark hair and eyes weren't very different from Keith's, and she knew his name, without him even wearing a nametag. 

As a kid, he had dreamed of what it would be like to have a mother from time to time. But his father had been amazing, and he had been enough family for Keith. By the time his dad died, Keith had given up on some long lost mother coming to rescue him. He figured, if he hadn't met her by that time in his life, it was never going to happen. It hadn't really bothered him, because how could he miss or want something he had never had in the first place?

"Keith," the woman said again, standing up. Keith felt as if he was frozen, the dirty rag still in his hand. "Do you...do you know who I am?"

Oh god, he couldn't do this. He wasn't ready. She took a step towards him, her eyes shining with unshed tears, and Keith was running before he even had a chance to think about it. He heard someone call out after him, but he ignored them running straight out the door and into the cold night air. 

 

* * *

Shiro was getting sleepy, sitting on the couch and listening to his friends talk without really listening. It had been a long day for him, having worked that morning, went to class and then went straight to the rec center afterwards. He liked being busy, because he liked being productive. But at the same time, it was quite exhausting. He had assumed he would be able to juggle everything, but he was beginning to doubt it now. Perhaps he'd have to cut back his hours at the rec center and only stop by on the weekends. The last thing he needed in his last semester of college was to overwork himself and cause his grades or his health to plummet. 

His phone rang, and he looked at it. Veronica was calling him. Shiro immediately got a bad feeling, and answered quickly. 

"Hello?" he said nervously. 

"Ah, Shiro." Veronica sounded relieved. "I'm glad you answered."

"What happened?" he asked, knowing she wouldn't call unless something happened with Keith. His friends all fell quiet, watching him. 

"I'm not sure, exactly," Veronica said nervously. "Keith...he sort of just ran out of the diner."

"What do you mean?" Shiro asked, confused. 

Veronica sighed. "Something upset him, I guess. He was talking to this woman, and he just sort of ran out. He didn't take his car or his things, and I have no idea where he went."

Shiro tried to keep calm, though his fear was threatening to take over. "Okay, I'll...I'll try to find him. I'll head over that way."

"Okay," she said, and he hung up. Shiro looked around at his friends, who were waiting for him to tell them what was going on. 

"I need your help," he said, gripping his phone tightly. "We need to find Keith."

* * *

Shiro stared out the window silently as Hunk's truck slowly made its way down the street. It was already after ten p.m., and the streets were silent and cold. Lance and Allura were out looking as well, though they hadn't seen anything yet either, and Pidge was back at the house, waiting there in case Keith showed up at home. Shiro was trying his best to stay calm, but he was afraid. It was cold and dark out, and Keith didn't have his phone or even a jacket on. It had already been nearly an hour since he'd ran out of the diner, and Veronica hadn't seen him return or come anywhere near the diner. Shiro had no idea what had set Keith off that badly, especially when Veronica mentioned someone woman he was talking to. Shiro could only guess that it was someone Keith had known, or someone just said the wrong thing to him. Whatever had happened, all Shiro could think about for now was finding him. They could deal with whatever had happened once he knew Keith was safe. 

They drove around for another ten minutes, a very agonizing ten minutes, before Shiro finally spotted him. "There!" he yelled, causing Hunk to slam on the breaks. Shiro was out the door before the car was even in park. Keith was walking, his arms folded, staring at his feet. Keith barely looked up as Shiro ran to him, throwing his arms around him, the tears finally escaping his eyes. Keith felt absolutely frozen in his arms, and he seemed out of it. 

"Shiro?" Keith said, not even returning his hug. Hunk came running now, too, and Keith's eyes flickered to him briefly before looking back at Shiro. 

"We've been looking everywhere for you!" Shiro cried, as Hunk pulled his jacket off and draped it around Keith's shoulders. Keith didn't seem to react to it at all. 

"Let's get in the car," Hunk said, putting his hand on Shiro's shoulder. Shiro just nodded, and Keith said nothing. He put his arm around Keith and led him back to Hunk's truck, helping him inside. Hunk put the heat on full blast, and Shiro jumped in the back seat with Keith. Hunk sent a message to Lance, Veronica and Pidge, letting them know that Keith had been found. Keith was still silent, not looking at Shiro, shivering underneath Hunk's jacket. Shiro pulled Keith into his arms, trying to help warm him, but also because he needed Keith in his arms. After a couple minutes, Keith turned and buried his head into Shiro's shoulder. 

They stopped back at the restaurant. "I'll go in and grab his things," Hunk offered, and Shiro smiled and nodded thankfully. Shiro really wished that Keith would talk to him, and tell him what had happened, but Keith was not in the talking mood. Shiro just held him, and thankfully Keith seemed to be warming up at least. Hunk came back after a couple minutes, carrying Keith's jacket. He got into the truck and handed it to Shiro. 

"His phone is in the pocket," Hunk said, and Shiro realized he was holding a piece of paper as well. Hunk looked a bit nervous as he handed it to Shiro. "Veronica said that some woman left this for him, as well."

Shiro felt Keith tense a bit in his arms. Shiro took the piece of paper and looked at it. It was just a phone number, and a name. 

 _Krolia Kogane_. 

 


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith and Krolia talk <3

Keith lay on his bed, the little piece of paper in his hands. He'd been staring at it for a long time, trying to make sense of what it was and what it meant. 

Never in a million years had he expected that woman to show up, in the tiny diner in the tiny college town where he lived. He had no idea how exactly she had found him, or why. He supposed that's why she had left Veronica her number, so he could ask her. What was he supposed to do now, though? Just pick up the phone and call her? Say, hey, Mom, thanks for being absent for nineteen years?

Keith groaned and rolled over on his bed, burying his face in his pillow. He hadn't wanted to deal with this at the diner, and he didn't want to deal with it now. 

Keith heard his bedroom door open. He picked up his head and looked around to see Shiro poking his head in. 

"You're awake," Shiro stated, opening the door more. 

"So are you," Keith replied, glancing at the clock. It was nearly two in the morning. 

Shiro came in to his room, sitting down on the edge of the bed. "I was thinking about you," Shiro sighed. 

Keith sat up, hugging his knees to his chest, the paper still in his hands. He'd barely spoken to anyone after they arrived home, even when Pidge and Allura hugged him, even with everyone asking what had happened. He apologized for worrying them and locked himself up in his room, trying to process what had happened.

"So...." Shiro seemed nervous. "So, that woman, in the diner? She's...your mother?"

It was so weird, the word _mother_. A foreign word, for Keith. "I think so. I guess...I actually recognized her."

Shiro frowned. "I thought you'd never met her before?"

"I hadn't," Keith replied, leaning back into his pillow. "But my dad had a picture of her when I was growing up. He never told me who she was, and I never really thought about it when I was a kid. But when I saw her today, it just...I don't. It just made sense all of a sudden." He held the paper up. "She has his last name still." 

"What are you going to do, now?" Shiro asked him. 

Keith shook his head. "I don't know. I don't know what to do." He threw the paper down on his bed. "I'm sorry," he said, looking back up at Shiro. "I didn't mean to scare you, or ruin Hunk's party. I just...I sort of freaked out, and I didn't know what to do. I just needed to get away from there."

Shiro sighed, a small smile on his face. "You did scare me," he said. "It was very scary, not knowing where you were or how to find you. But I guess I can't blame you for running. I don't know how I would have handled it, if I were you."

Keith climbed into Shiro's arms, and Shiro hugged him, making him feel safe and warm. "I know it's scary," Shiro told him. "But I think you should try and talk to her, at least hear what she has to say. I think that you will regret it if you don't."

Keith knew that Shiro was right. He would have to at least hear out what she had to say, and he had a million questions he wanted answered now that she was here. It wasn't like he had anything to lose, at this point. He didn't want anything from his mother, except perhaps to try and understand why she was never there. He didn't have any hopes and dreams of her suddenly becoming the parent she never was. 

"I'll message her in the morning," Keith said at last. "I guess I could just try to hear her out."

Shiro smiled. "I'm glad. At least you might be able to get some answers."

* * *

 The next morning, Keith sent Krolia a text message, simply stating he was willing to meet up and talk. She messaged him back almost immediately, as if she had been waiting. They agreed to meet up at a coffee shop across from campus that afternoon. 

Keith could barely focus on his classes that day, his mind constantly wandering as he tried to prepare himself for meeting his mother. He wondered what they would talk about, and what she would say. He wondered if she regretted leaving him behind. He wondered if he would be angry, or if he would be able to feel anything at all. How was he supposed to prepare himself for facing a mother who had never been there for him? 

Shiro met up with him before he had to go meet her. He straightened Keith's jacket and tried to tame his hair, looking quite nervous himself. "You'll be fine," he said, resting his hands on Keith's shoulders. "Remember, you're just talking, and trying to get answers. But if it gets to be too much, you can always call me and I'll come get you."

Keith grinned appreciatively. "I won't go running out into the cold and disappear again."

"That's not funny," Shiro said sternly. "I mean it, just call me and I'll be there."

Keith sighed. "I'm sorry. I promise, I'll call you." He leaned in and kissed Shiro, and Shiro smiled, and it was enough to make Keith feel calmer. "Okay, I guess I should go."

"Good luck," Shiro told him, squeezing Keith's hands. Keith didn't want to let go of him, but he knew he had to do this alone. He crossed the street to the little café, and looked back at Shiro, who was still there, watching him go. Shiro waved, as if to tell him, _go on, you got this_ , and Keith took a deep breath, stepping through the cafe's doors. 

The café was small and cramped, overrun by college students and staff. It took Keith a moment to find Krolia, sitting in the back corner of the café at a tiny table. She waved, and he raised his hand to show he'd seen her. He took his time ordering a coffee, trying to calm his racing heart. It was so hard to not run out the door again. Running seemed so easy, much easier than facing the truth. But he stayed, picking up his coffee cup and forcing his legs to walk to the back of the café and sit across the table from his mother. She looked a bit nervous as well, a small smile on her face that almost looked like a grimace. 

"Hello, Keith," she said, her hands on her cup in front of her. "Thank you for agreeing to meet with me."

Keith wasn't sure what to say, so he just nodded and took a drink from his coffee. 

"I'm sorry if I startled you the other night," Krolia continued. "I honestly didn't expect you to recognize me at all."

"I almost didn't," he admitted. "But then I remembered seeing your picture before."

Krolia straightened up. "You saw a picture of me? From your father?"

Keith nodded, his throat tightening. "Did he tell you who I was?" she asked, and he shook his head. She deflated a bit, as if she was disappointed. 

"It kind of dawned on me, when I saw you in the diner," Keith told her. "And then I saw your name on that piece of paper....You were married then?"

Krolia sighed heavily, and nodded. "I met your father when I was a teenager," she began. "It didn't take me long to fall in love with him. He proposed to me, when we hadn't even known each other for a year. I was nineteen. And I was so excited, and in love, so of course I said yes."

It was strange to think that his parents were his age when they got married. "We were happy, your father and I," Krolia continued, a sad smile on her face. "We were young, and poor, but it didn't matter. Nothing mattered to us because we had each other."

Keith thought of Shiro, and his heart squeezed painfully. He often felt that way about Shiro, after all. He had nothing to give him, but he loved him, and that seemed to be enough. But obviously his parents had thought that, as well. 

"Then what happened?" Keith asked, and Krolia took a moment to answer, looking down at her mostly empty coffee cup. 

"Well, things were okay for a while," Krolia said, not looking at him. "We were able to buy a house, though it wasn't the best. We dreamed of fixing it up to be our perfect family home. I loved the big front porch, and the maple tree in the front yard." Keith realized she was speaking of the same house he had grown up in, and it was strange to think about. "Your father had to work a lot, but he said it was worth it. I was working, as well. And then...and then I found out I was pregnant."

She smiled, though she was looking past Keith, lost in her own memory. "Your father was so excited. He wanted a baby so badly. He asked me to quit my job and stay home, so I did. He was so excited, planning how to decorate your room and what we would name you. But me, I was scared. I wanted to be a mother, but at the same time, I was afraid that I wouldn't be good at it." She laughed, without humor. 

"I remember the day you were born. Your father cried when he saw you. I remember being amazed at how tiny you were. I was so afraid that I would hurt you, or do something wrong. Your father was definitely a natural. He never seemed nervous even once. We were suddenly a family of three. It was like everything was falling into place. I mean, that's what you are supposed to do. Fall in love, get married, by a house, have baby. It's everyone's dream. But then, after we brought you home, things...they started to change. I started to change."

She paused, swirling the coffee around in her cup. Keith waited, unable to find anything to say. 

"I was unhappy, though I didn't know why," Krolia finally said, sitting the cup back down. "I wanted to be happy, and to be a good wife and mother. But I just...I couldn't. I couldn't even get out of bed some days. And then, I started drinking, to make myself feel better. But I didn't really feel better, not for long. It mostly just numbed me for a while, and I just started to feel worse. Your father, he...he tried to help me. But nothing he said or did made it better. And I realized that I was making him unhappy, too. And...I couldn't...."

She was crying, now. Keith felt highly uncomfortable, but he had no way to comfort her. "I couldn't even hold you," she whispered. "I realized, one day, that I wasn't good for you, or your father. I was just bringing you down. I was bringing him down. So...I left."

She wiped her eyes. "I thought I was doing the right thing, in leaving. I thought he would be better off without me, and you as well. I let him take everything, the car, the house, you. I let him have it all, and I moved away to my mother's. I continued drinking. I wouldn't answer your father's calls, and one day, he just gave up and stopped calling.

"I was sort of stuck for a couple years, living off of my mother and drinking too much. And then my mother got sick, and I realized...I needed to change. I needed to be better, for her, for myself, and for you and your father. It took a long time, and a lot of set backs, but...well, I haven't drank in years, so that's something, at least."

"But you never came back," Keith said, and saying the words out loud were more painful than he expected. 

She looked up at him, her face crumbling. "No, I didn't," she said. "I...I felt like I couldn't. I guess I was ashamed of the way I had acted, and I believed you were both better off without me."

Keith wanted to be angry at her. He wanted to be angry because she had left him, and left his father, who had loved her enough to keep her photo next to his bed until the day he died. But at the same time, he understood the way she felt. He often felt the same way, after all. 

"Do you know," Keith said slowly, "about...what happened to my dad?"

She nodded, and Keith felt a bit relieved that he wouldn't have to  be the one to tell her. "I found out recently," she said, wiping her eyes. "I had assumed all these years that you were both okay, and together. One day, I finally felt that it was time to look for you. I tried to find your father, first. I didn't expect to find old newspaper articles about...about his death." She gripped her cup so tightly it crumpled. "He was gone all these years, and I didn't even know it. I didn't know that you...."

Keith felt tears coming and tried to blink them away. Any sort of anger he had felt towards his mother was draining away as she sat there in front of him, silently crying. As hard as things had been for him, he could see that things had been hard for her, too. He knew how much his own pain had affected his life, and still did. He was starting to see that he and his mother were a lot a like. A lot of the fears she held were the same fears that he was always fighting in his own heart. He knew how it felt to be insecure, to doubt himself, to feel like he only made things harder for those he loved. 

"How did you find me?" Keith asked her. "How did you know I would be at the diner?"

She smiled, sniffling. "Luckily, this thing called the internet exists, and kids these days love to post all of their lives on their social media accounts. I...I just kind of looked you up and found your profile. It was crazy, how easy it was to find you."

Lance had forced Keith into making his first social media accounts just a few months ago. He had thought it was a silly idea, and had barely used them- mostly he just looked at pictures his friends tagged him in. 

"You look happy, in your photos," Krolia told him, a small smile on her face. 

"I am happy," Keith told her. "I've met some really amazing people this year."

Silence fell upon them for a moment. "What would you have done if I hadn't wanted to talk to you?" he asked her, out of curiosity. 

Krolia shrugged. "I honestly wasn't expecting you too. I know I'm nineteen years too late. But even if I would have just been able to see you, and see that you were doing okay...that would have been enough."

Keith wanted to tell her that he hadn't been okay for a long time. He hadn't started to feel better until he met Shiro in the library. But for some reason, he couldn't say it. He realized he just didn't want to hurt her. 

"I know I missed out on so much," Krolia whispered. "I know it's a lot to ask from you, to ask for your understanding or even your forgiveness. I can't change the things I've done in the past. All I can do is hope for a better future. I'd like to get to know you, if that's what you want. If it's not, I understand. You can walk out that door and never look back, and I won't bother you again."

The choices weighed heavily on Keith. He was used to turning around and running away. It seemed easier, and safer. He had wanted to run away from Shiro, too, in the beginning. But Shiro hadn't let him, and Keith was forever grateful that he didn't. His mother had made a lot of bad choices. She'd broken his father's heart, and she could have possibly saved him from a lot of pain during his childhood. But she was right. They couldn't change what had already happened. They could only hope for a better future; that's what Keith had been doing every day. 

"I don't want to walk away," he told her, and although the words scared him, he looked her straight in the eye, and he meant it.  

Krolia broke out into a huge, tearful smile. "Okay," she said with a little laugh, as though she'd been holding her breath and expecting the worst. "Okay."

They both looked at each other, smiling a little awkwardly. "I don't really know where to go from there, though," Keith admitted, and she laughed again. 

"Me either," she confessed. "But I guess we'll just figure it out along the way."

* * *

 Keith walked into the house, kicking the snow off his boots. Pidge and Hunk were home, Pidge behind her computer and Hunk watching TV. Pidge waved without looking at him, and Hunk smiled at him. 

"How did it go?" Hunk asked, and Pidge looked at him from over her computer. 

Keith felt strange inside, a feeling he couldn't quite describe, stuck somewhere between fear and excitement. "It went okay," he told them, smiling. "It went...it went well, actually, I think."

They both smiled back at him. "I'm glad," Hunk said. "Shiro's been waiting for you to come home."

Keith nodded and made his way to Shiro's room. He knocked and pushed the door open. Shiro was sitting on his bed, and Keith was happy to see him reading the copy of _1984_ he'd gotten him for Christmas. 

"Hey!" Shiro said, jumping up and throwing the book on his bed. "I didn't hear you come in-"

Keith ran to Shiro and threw his arms around him. Shiro was startled, but hugged him back. "Are you okay?" he asked, resting his hand on the back of Keith's head. 

Keith took a deep breath. "I'm okay. I'm just...I'm just happy to have you here."

Hearing his mother talk about what she'd gone through had reminded Keith that nothing was permanent, and anything could change, for better or worse, at any time. He wasn't sure where he would be in a month or a year or five years, but for now, he had Shiro, and his friends, and an opportunity to get to know the mother he had never had. He wanted to hold onto all of these things so tightly and never let go of them. Because in that moment, he really was happy. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> <3 
> 
> Next chapter will include valentine's day <3


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happy Valentines Day :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> woooo chapter 17! 17 is my favorite number!! xD
> 
> There are a couple songs that helped me write this chapter, and I recommend giving them a listen because they are good songs and my heart <3 <3 <3 
> 
> Human-Dodie  
> I Get To Love You- Ruelle
> 
> (You can thank Ruelle for every story I write I swear her music is my writing anthem lol).

February dawned on them, just as cold and snowy as January had been. Everyone on campus was getting excited as they started to make their spring break plans, even though spring felt a million miles away under the piles of snow. Keith was actually looking forward to his trip to California with Shiro, who promised that L.A. would be snow free and much warmer. As much as he loved the snow, Keith was looking forward to the little break away from it. 

So far, he'd met with Krolia one more time, this time at Sara's diner. He discovered that she actually lived nearly an hour away, so making multiple trips, especially in the snow, wasn't the easiest. They had decided to make their meetings a weekly thing, so they could have time to sit down and talk and start to get to know one another. So far, Keith had learned that his mother had no other children, though she was with a new guy, and she seemed to be happy with him. She was a nurse and worked at a hospital in the town she lived in. It was hard to imagine, his mother living only an hour away all these years, and he had never known it. He hadn't opened up much to her, yet. He was still trying to get more comfortable around her, though did mention Shiro to her, and the fact that he lived with him and some other friends. Someday soon, he would open up to her about what his life had been like, but he wasn't ready for that, yet. 

So much had happened in such a short period of time. From meeting Shiro, moving in with him, becoming friends with Hunk, Pidge, Lance and Allura, falling in love, meeting Zachery in that alley, struggling to recover, and meeting his mother- it felt like more had happened in those few short months than had happened in his whole life. But even with all the bad that had happened, and the days and the moments in which he struggled, Keith still found himself to be quite happy. After years of living day to day, waiting and wishing for something to happen, Keith welcomed all the new changes in his life. He felt like he was really living for the first time. 

"Hey," Shiro said to him one morning, as Keith sat on the couch between Hunk and Pidge, who were trying to help him with his biology homework. It was Saturday, and Shiro was off to the rec center to put in his weekly hours. He'd had to cut back to only Saturday morning, in able to effectively balance his schedule. Keith was happy, because it meant that he was able to see Shiro a little more. "Do you work Thursday night?"

Keith thought about it. "No, I don't think so." He was still surprised he had a job at all, after running out on his shift the night Krolia had appeared. But his boss seemed to like him, and offered to give him another chance, as long as he didn't make a habit of running out every night. 

Shiro smiled, his cheeks a bit pink. "Okay, good. Don't make any plans. We're doing something that night."

"O-okay," Keith said, a bit embarrassed by Pidge's smirk, but pleased nonetheless. 

"Okay." Shiro leaned in and kissed him quickly, like it was a habit now. "I'll be back later."

"Don't we get a kiss goodbye?" Pidge teased, and Shiro blushed and ran out the door, making Hunk chuckle. 

"It's adorable how flustered he gets over you," Hunk told Keith, and Keith wanted to sink through the cushions and disappear to avoid them. 

"So, what are you going to get him?" Pidge asked. 

Keith frowned. "For his birthday? I- I don't know yet."

She rolled her eyes. "No, for Thursday. Valentine's day?"

Keith dropped his biology book with a loud _thunk_. "V-Valentine's day?"

"Oh my, you didn't even realize it was coming up, did you?" Pidge laughed. 

"I...I haven't thought about it," he said truthfully, picking his book back up. "I've never celebrated it before. Um...what...what am I supposed to get him?"

Pidge snorted. "Don't look at me, I don't know. Plus, he's your boyfriend."

"I can help you make him some cookies," Hunk suggested. 

"Cookies?" Pidge repeated, and eyebrow raised. 

"What's wrong with cookies?" Hunk said defensively. 

"Nothing, I suppose," Pidge sighed. "Look, Keith. You don't even have to buy him anything. Shiro's not that materialistic, after all. Even a gesture or something like that would make him happy. He loves you so much, you could make him a goopy cake and he'd eat the whole damn thing."

Keith was left to ponder what he could possibly do for Valentine's Day. He'd been stressed enough over trying to think of the perfect birthday gift, and Valentine's Day was never something he'd even thought or cared about since he was old enough to know better. But at the same time, it seemed like Shiro had something planned for them, and so Keith had to figure out something. Pidge was right in saying that Shiro wasn't the materialistic. He'd have to try and think of something outside a normal gift. 

When it was clear that Keith wasn't paying proper attention to his homework anymore, Hunk and Pidge gave up trying to help him with it. Pidge disappeared behind her computer again, and Hunk went to the kitchen to start dinner. Keith thought about all the things he could say or do for Shiro, but nothing really sounded good enough. He knew how he felt about Shiro, but he wasn't quite sure of how to express it. It seemed like such a simple thing, yet Keith felt pressured that he would mess it up. It was his first Valentine's Day after all, and he wanted Shiro to know how much he meant to him. 

* * *

The next morning was Sunday, and it was the day that Keith and Krolia had decided would be their weekly meeting. They made plans to have brunch at Sara's diner, and Keith was actually looking forward to it. Now that the initial awkwardness was wearing off, he realized he was quite excited to get to know his mother. He'd always believed that he didn't care about her growing up; but now that she was there, he realized he'd been lying to himself. It had been easier to believe he didn't care than to think of another thing he'd been missing in his life. 

Krolia smiled at him when he arrived, already seated at a booth next to the window. He smiled and made his way to her, waving at Veronica as he passed. "Hey," Krolia said as he sat down. "How are you?"

"Fine," he replied. "Thanks for coming up here again."

She chuckled. "Trust me, you have no need to thank me. Thank you for giving me your time."

He smiled, and opened his menu, even though he already knew the menu by heart. He just needed something to do with his hands. Veronica came and poured them some coffee without him even asking, and he'd never been more grateful to her. "You want the usual, Keith?" she asked him, a small smile. 

"Sure," he said, and Krolia said, "So will I, whatever it is."

Veronica smiled at her. "It'll be up soon."

She walked away, and Krolia asked, "So what is your regular?"

"For breakfast, blueberry pancakes," he replied. 

Krolia's smile was warm and a little sad. "Just like your father."

"Yeah, we used to make them together when I was a kid," Keith said, and then felt a bit awkward afterwards. He'd never spoken to her about his childhood, after all, even the good parts. He felt like he was just reminding her of things she'd missed out on. 

"Can I ask you a question?" he asked, hoping to change the subject. 

"Of course," she replied. 

He asked her the first thing that came to his mind. "What do you get someone for Valentine's Day?"

He felt his cheeks get warm, and Krolia just blinked and started laughing. 

"I'm sorry," she said as he hid behind his menu. "I just wasn't expecting that kind of question." She studied him, a smile on her face. "But as for the answer, it really depends on the person. Some people like to go to dinner, or have a movie night in, or some kind of sweets."

"He's already planned something for us to do, I guess," Keith sighed, still feeling embarrassed. "I want to do something nice, something that let's him know how I feel about him. But I don't know how to say what I want to say."

"You could write him a letter," Krolia suggested. 

"A letter?" Keith repeated skeptically. 

She grinned. "You'd be surprised what sort of affects words have on a person. Sometimes, it's hard to say something out loud, but writing is easier. When...when me and your father were younger, he would write me letters. I kept them, and I would read them over and over, especially when I was having a bad day."

Keith supposed it wasn't a terrible idea. "Do you still have the letters?" he asked. 

She smiled, a bit misty-eyed. "Some of them. And I'm glad I've kept them. Because even though we didn't stay together, it wasn't because I didn't love him. I'll always love him, and it's nice to remember that he loved me, too."

They fell silent for a few minutes, drinking their coffee. Keith stared out the window, wondering if he could even get his feelings out on paper or not, and wondering what Shiro could have planned for them.

* * *

 Shiro was waiting for Keith outside after his last class Thursday afternoon. Keith hadn't been able to see him all day, and he basically jumped into his arms, causing Shiro to laugh. 

"I missed you too," Shiro said when Keith finally released him. "And I'd love to stand here in your arms all day, but we have somewhere to be, and don't have much time."

"Why is that?" Keith asked, but Shiro just smiled. 

"You'll see when we get there."

"But- we're leaving now?" Keith asked as Shiro started walking away. 

Shiro nodded. "I want to get there in time."

Keith looked down at his clothes. "Am I dressed okay?"

Shiro chuckled. "Yes, you look fine."

Shiro wouldn't give him any more hints, so Keith was forced to sit there and try to guess as Shiro drove with a small smile on his face, amused by Keith's curiosity. They drove for almost twenty minutes, snow falling lightly. Finally Shiro pulled up in front of a small house on the outskirts of town. Keith had no idea where they were or why they would be there. 

"We made it in time," Shiro said in relief. "Apparently they had somewhere to be at four, so I promised we'd be here before that."

"And _where_ are we?" Keith asked as Shiro opened his door. 

Shiro got out of the car. "Come with me and you'll see."

Keith had never been so curious in his life. He followed Shiro up to the front door of a single story home with a large backyard. And old woman answered the door, looking them up and down. 

"Hello," Shiro said politely. "We talked on the phone a few times. My name is Takashi."

"Right," the woman said, letting them in. Her kitchen was warm and cramped. "I was hoping you'd be here soon. I was starting to think you'd changed your mind."

"Sorry," Shiro apologized. "I got here as soon as I could." He handed the woman an envelope. She looked in and nodded. 

"No problem, I'm glad you're here," the woman sighed, tucking the envelope away. "We've had this one a while, and I was beginning to lose hope that we'd find him a family."

She walked out of the room as she said it. Keith looked at Shiro, his eyes wide, and Shiro just grinned. 

"She owns a rescue," Shiro said, and a second later, a shaggy black dog came barreling at them, sniffing and licking their hands excitedly. 

"We call him Kosmo," the lady said, a small smile on her face. "Up to you if you keep it that or not, but he's all yours."

Keith felt like he could cry. He'd always wanted a dog, ever since he was a kid. His father had never let him, and he really hadn't had the chance to get one in the foster homes or group homes, either. He knelt down and put his arms around the dog, hugging him, and the dog thumped its tail excitedly. "He's ours?" Keith asked Shiro, looking up at him, like it was too good to be true. 

Shiro smiled. "He is. Hunk and Pidge say that they are okay with it, as long as we take care of him."

"He's a pretty good dog," the woman explained. "Doesn't bark too much, and he likes attention. Needs a little work on the leash, but he's young enough still that you can train him up a bit."

"I love him," Keith said at once, patting Kosmo's head. 

They were given a leash and a small bag of food, and then ushered out, the woman reminding them she had somewhere to be. Keith felt like this was some sort of dream, like he was a kid again and he finally got the dog he had always wanted. Kosmo jumped into the backseat of Shiro's car and curled up, tail wagging in excitement. 

"Happy Valentines Day," Shiro said, wrapping his arms around Keith's neck. 

"I can't believe you got me a dog," Keith said, smiling up at him. "This is the best thing ever."

"Better than me?" Shiro teased, and Keith kissed him, still standing out in the driveway, the snow falling in their hair. 

"Thank you," Keith said as they broke apart. 

"I'm glad you're happy," Shiro said cheerfully. "And I think we could use a dog around the house, anyway. Add some excitement."

They stopped at a local pet store on the way home, and Keith had way too much fun picking out toys, dishes and a collar for Kosmo. Shiro seemed highly amused by his excitement, but Keith couldn't help it. Hunk and Pidge were waiting when they got home, excited to pet and play with Kosmo as well. They spent most the evening playing with him, taking him outside to run in the snow. Keith really did feel like a kid again, running around in the snow with Kosmo and laughing, Shiro watching him with his smile and warm eyes. Eventually Shiro made them come inside, and they warmed up with blankets and hot chocolate as Kosmo curled up by their feet. 

"So you want to keep his name Kosmo, then?" Shiro asked Keith as the sat on the couch together, wrapped up in blankets, though Shiro's arms were warm enough. 

"I think so," Keith answered. "He seems to like it."

"I like it, too," Shiro said. "I think it fits him."

"I can't believe you got me a dog," Keith chuckled, thinking about his boring letter. "Oh yeah! I...I did something for you too, but...it's not as exciting."

Shiro grinned. "What is it?"

Keith disappeared into his room, feeling a bit embarrassed. He'd already written it, so there was no going back. He went back out into the living room and gave the folded up paper to Shiro. "It was Krolia's idea, so."

Shiro took it, opening the paper. Keith watched him as he read it, patting Kosmo's head nervously. Shiro's face softened as he read, and Keith was afraid for a moment that he might even cry. 

"Sorry it's not much," he said awkwardly. "I wanted to do something to show you how much you mean to me, but I wasn't sure what or how. Krolia told me sometimes writing is easier, and I sat down and...it all just sort of came out I guess."

Shiro finished reading, sitting down the letter on the couch. He actually did have tears in his eyes, but they didn't fall. "Come here," he said, making Keith get up off the floor and rejoin Shiro on the couch. Shiro pulled him into his arms, pressing a kiss against his temple. Keith couldn't help but to grin, his stomach fluttering. 

"I love you so much," Shiro whispered. "Thank you. Getting to love you is the best present I could ever ask for."

"You don't think it was stupid?"

Shiro chuckled. "Not at all. Not even close."

Keith grinned, laying his head on Shiro's shoulder. His first Valentine's Day had been successful, and it had definitely been one of the best days he'd had so far. He couldn't think of one thing he could ask for to make him any happier than he was sitting there on the couch with Shiro, Kosmo curled up at their feet. 

* * *

 

  _Dear Shiro,_

_So I don't know much about Valentine's Day. I remember being a kid and getting little cards to hand out at school, and I'd get candy. But that's about as much as I ever did. I honestly didn't even think about Valentine's Day at all until Pidge was nice enough to remind me. I wanted to give you something for Valentines that meant something. I wanted to be able to show you what you mean to me, but honestly, I wasn't sure how to. So I guess I'm just going to try and put my feelings on paper, and hope it doesn't sound ridiculous._

_When I first came to this school, I didn't know what to expect. I wanted to make friends and meet people, but I wasn't really sure how. I'd never really had a friend before. I was alone, living in my car and surviving off fast food. I started to think that maybe I was crazy for even believing I'd ever be able to be someone other than that quiet, angry kid with no family._

_But then one day you walked up to me in the library. I thought you were going to play some sort of trick on me, or make fun of me. But you didn't. You just talked to me. Looking back on that day now, I had no idea how important that moment was for me. I had no idea that the awkward library worker would end up being the person I'd fall in love with, but here we are._

_I try to look back and remember when it was exactly that I fell in love with you, but I don't really know. It was kind of like I fell in love with you a little more each day. Every time I saw you, my heart would race and I'd feel happy. Just seeing you made me happy. It was weird at first, because I'd never experienced anything like it before. That night I told you the truth about who I was, and what I had done, I was sure that things would be over for me, for us. I was sure that no one could love me, knowing who I was and where I had come from. But you still accepted me, and you wanted me to stay._

_You were the first person to ever want me around._

_I don't know if I can ever tell you what that meant to me. For years I had been pushed from home to home, written off as a problem child. No one cared about me. I didn't even care about myself. I saw the world as this ugly, cold place. I hadn't been like that, as a kid. My father hadn't been like that either. But somewhere along the way, the child my father had raised was forgotten, and I became someone else._

_I think one of the things you have taught me was not only how to open my heart to others, but myself as well. It might seem like a simple thing, but it hasn't been for me. I still struggle with it, from time to time. But then you're there. You look at me, or smile at me, or hold me in your arms. You believe in me, and then I begin to believe in myself, as well._

_I never really understood what it meant to love someone. But you've taught me what it means. It means to stand by someone on their hardest days. It means to worry about someone other than yourself. It means to that you'll laugh, and you'll cry, and you'll get angry, and you'll get scared. It means trusting your heart, your soul to another person. It's scary, and it's wonderful._

_You smile, and I feel like I'm top of the world._

_You hold me, and I feel safe._

_You don't even have to say anything. Just being near you, just seeing you across a room makes everything brighter._

_That's what it means to love someone._

_I know things haven't been easy. I know I've come with a lot of crazy stuff, and it's been hard on both of us. But you still believe in me, and every day, I want to be better. For myself, and for you. You make me want to be a better person, and I want nothing more than to make you proud._

_I don't know if any of what I've said has made sense, and this is really long already. But I just wanted to say thank you, Shiro. Thank you for letting me love you, and thank you for loving me in return. Thank you for the life you've given me, and the life I hope we have in the future. Because if I know anything right now, it's that I want to stay by your side._

_Happy Valentine's Day._

_I love you._

_Keith._

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be Shiro's birthday, and then they'll be off to California :D


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shiro's birthday <3

"So, California this coming weekend," Krolia said as they sat at the diner, blueberry pancakes in front of them. "Are you excited?"

Keith leaned back. "Yes, and no. I have to meet his parents, after all. And from what he's told me, his dad isn't a great person."

"Hm." Krolia sipped her coffee. "Well, it might not be as bad as you're making it out to be in your head."

Keith sighed. His upcoming trip had basically been the only thing on his mind lately. He was wondering why he'd ever agreed to go with Shiro. Meeting new people in general was a bit terrifying to Keith; even first meeting Shiro's friends had given him anxiety. He couldn't help but stress about the idea of staying in Shiro's childhood home with his parents, on the other side of the country.

But perhaps Krolia was right. He'd been able to make it through meeting Shiro's friends, and even meeting his own mother after nineteen years. Surely a week with Shiro's family would be okay?

Keith was tired of thinking about it. He suddenly remembered the photo sitting in his jacket pocket, and pulled it out.

"I almost forgot," he said, looking at the photo fondly. "I have something for you."

He handed the old photograph to her across the table. She took it, her eyes widening. It was the photo of him and his father. It made Keith a little sad to give it away after holding it close for so long; it was the one thing he'd kept with him all these years, after all. But for some reason, it just felt right to give it to Krolia. He had the copy Shiro had given him for Christmas next to his bed still. And the more time he had spent with Krolia, the more he realized how much sadness she still held inside of her over the family she had lost. She never really said anything, but he could see it in the way she looked at him when she thought he didn't notice. It was there, in her eyes. The grief, the regret, the uncertainty. 

Krolia's eyes watered, but she smiled, tracing his father's face with her fingers much like Keith himself would do. "I've had that photo a long time," he told her. "I don't know exactly when it was taken or where, but it survived the fire at the house and was given to me. I...I kept it with me, in the foster homes I went to. And when I was in the group homes, and...even when I went to juvie."

Krolia looked up at him, his words catching her by surprise. He hadn't told her anything about his childhood, yet, after all. She only had her assumptions of what his life had been before he met her. "I kept it with me throughout it all," he said. "It was all I had left from my life with my father." He looked down at his plate. "I used to feel like there was a clear before and after in my life. Before my father died, and after. But now, I guess it's sort of happened again. Starting over. I guess life has many chapters."

"Keith," his mother whispered, bring the little photo to her chest as if she was hugging it. "I...." She took a deep breath. "Thank you, for the picture. Are you sure it's okay that I have it?"

He smiled. "Yeah, I want you to have it."

She smiled too, trying to discreetly wipe her eyes. "I...I didnt know, about- about what happened to you-"

"It's okay," Keith said at once. "We don't...we don't have to talk about it now. Not yet."

She fell silent, nodding in understanding. She looked back down at the photo, the love and pain she was always trying to hide evident in her eyes. "Thank you, again," she said.

"We were happy," he told her. "We were together and happy, for a while. I wish it could have been for longer, but I happy for the memories that I do have."

She nodded again, unable to say anything. Keith took a bite of his pancakes. They weren't as good as the ones he had made with his father, but they still reminded Keith of him. He smiled to himself. For the longest time, thinking of his father was painful. All that he could think of was the pain of his loss, and everything that had happened because of it. Of course, it still made him sad to this day. He'd do anything to see his father one more time. But he also found that his memories brought him a lot of joy now, as well. A lot of love. He was speaking the truth to Krolia. He was grateful for the memories and the time he'd had with his father.

He was grateful that he was finally becoming the person his father had always wanted him to be. His father had always told him he could be or do whatever he wanted in the future, as long as he was happy. That's all his father had wanted.

They were mostly quiet as they finished their pancakes, both of them lost in their own thoughts and memories. Keith walked Krolia out to her car after they were finished, the skies gray and air cold. It was hard to believe he'd be going away on spring break in a week when spring seemed so far away.

"Well, I hope you have a safe trip," Krolia told him, smiling over her scarf. "I look forward to hearing all about it when you get back."

"Thanks," Keith said with a grin. "Maybe...maybe I can bring Shiro one of these days, so you can meet him."

"I'd like that," Krolia said, putting her hand on his shoulder. They stood there awkwardly for a moment, as Keith wondered if he should hug her or not. They'd definitely gotten more comfortable around one another the past month, but they were still a little nervous as well. He was saved from having to thinking about it much longer by a car tearing out of the parking lot, tires screeching on the road. They both jumped and looked around. Keith felt a momentary jolt of fear. For a second, he was sure he knew who was in the car looking at him, but it was gone before he had the chance to really see.

"Some people," Krolia huffed, and Keith couldn't help but grin, already pushing the thought away.

"Have a safe drive back," he told her. "I guess I'll see you in two weeks, since I won't be here next Sunday."

Krolia looked a little sad, but she smiled. "I look forward to it. Thank you, again, for the picture. It means a lot to me."

He just nodded. She got into her car, and he waved as she drove away, his thoughts once again returning to his anxiety over his upcoming trip with Shiro, which would be the day after Shiro's birthday party.

* * *

 Shiro was woken up by Kosmo jumping on his bed, licking his face excitedly. 

"Kosmo," Shiro heard Keith scold, and Shiro chuckled, patting the dogs head as he rubbed his eyes tiredly. He sat up with a yawn, and was surprised to see Keith standing there with a tray in his hands, smiling nervously. 

"Happy birthday," Keith said, handing him the tray. "I-I made you breakfast. Hunk had to help me a bit, but I did most of it by myself, so sorry if it tastes terrible."

Shiro looked down at the tray, complete with a plate full of food, coffee in his favorite mug, and orange juice. There were pancakes vaguely in the shape of something, a face made out of fruit. 

"What's it supposed to be?" Shiro asked.

"Kosmo, of course," Keith said defiantly, like it was the most obvious thing in the world, and Shiro burst out laughing, causing Keith to blush furiously. 

"I hope you know I woke up really early to do this," Keith said, folding his arms. Shiro sat the tray carefully to his side, and got up out of bed, pulling Keith into his arms. Keith tried to fight him half-heartedly, but gave in after a second. 

"Thank you," Shiro told him, his heart already feeling like it was about to overflow, and he'd only been awake for two minutes. "I love it."

"You better," Keith said, but he smiled and kissed Shiro. "Now eat, before my hard work goes to waste. And I have something for you, but I couldn't carry it too, so I'll be right back."

Shiro did as he was told, sitting back on the bed and taking a bite of his food. The pancakes were actually quite good, even if they were a little over cooked. And somehow Keith knew the exact way Shiro liked his coffee- just a little cream and sugar, the perfect amount. Kosmo sat next to his bed, tail wagging as he waited for scraps. Keith returned, grinning brightly at the sight of Shiro eating his breakfast. 

"You like it?" Keith asked hopefully, and Shiro nodded, Keith sighing in relief. 

"It's really good," Shiro assured him. "Maybe Hunk is rubbing off on you."

"Let's hope," Keith laughed. "I was going to give this to you later at the party, but-" He shrugged, sitting down on the bed and handing Shiro a rectangular box tied in ribbon. "Happy birthday, Shiro."

"You didn't have to get me anything," Shiro fussed, undoing the ribbon and opening the box up. Inside was a photo album. Shiro smiled and opened it. Keith had filled it with quite a few pictures already- from his birthday, Halloween, Christmas, New Years, and all the days in between. There were pictures of Lance, Allura, Pidge, Hunk, Romelle- even some of Kosmo already. Some of the photos Shiro hadn't even seen before, though some were familiar from various social media accounts from his friends. 

"I remembered how you used to keep albums, but then sort of stopped," Keith said. "So I figured, since this year has been pretty memorable, and it's your senior year, that you should have a new one. And I left some blank pages too, so, you can add more photos if you want. You don't have to, of course, but I think you should. Photos...I think they are important."

Shiro looked back up at him and smiled. "This is wonderful," he said, and he was again struck by how much he loved Keith. His smile, often a little unsure. His hair tied back in a little ponytail. His eyes alive with so many feelings. Shiro reached out and touched Keith's face. His forehead had a small scar from that night in the alley. Shiro trailed his fingers over it, down the side of Keith's face, the scar across his cheek he'd had since he was young. Shiro was amazed by him every day. The sheer amount of pain and fear and uncertainty Keith had gone through in his life, and yet he still had the biggest heart that Shiro had ever known. 

Keith blushed a little. "What?" he said, and Shiro let his hand fall. 

"Nothing," Shiro said simply. "I was just remembering how much I love you."

Keith blushed even more, but he smiled. Keith was always saying how Shiro's smile grounded him; Keith's smile made Shiro's heart light up like the sun. 

After he'd finished his breakfast, Shiro went out into the living room and was surprised to see that it was already decorated for his birthday, complete with streamers and balloons and a _happy birthday Shiro_ banner. Pidge and Hunk were up, tackle hugging him. Shiro had barely even started the day, and it was already feeling like the best morning of his life. 

"Happy birthday Shiro!" Hunk cried. "I'm going to be making your cake as soon as I'm out of class today."

"Lance and I made you a birthday slideshow," Pidge added. "But you can't see it until tonight."

"Guys," Shiro said, feeling like he was going to cry. "Thank you."

"Keith did most the decorating on his own," Hunk said, patting Keith on the back as he blushed again. "I'm pretty sure he didn't sleep last night."

"I'm surprised you didn't hear him throwing a fit every time he messed something up," Pidge said with a laugh. 

"I-I just wanted it to be perfect," Keith said defensively, and Pidge hugged him. 

Shiro smiled. He already never wanted the day to end. 

* * *

 Keith was waiting for Shiro when he finally got out of his last class. He was leaning on the side of the building, looking lost in his own thoughts. But when he saw Shiro, he smiled and jumped up, like all his troubles had melted away. "Hey," he said, wrapping his arms around Shiro tightly. "How was class?"

"Not short enough," Shiro answered with a grin. 

"Well, everyone is already waiting back at the house," Keith replied. "Lance is having fun getting Kosmo to chase after the balloons."

"Of course he is," Shiro said with a chuckle. They made their way back to his car, and Shiro was struck with a thought that saddened him- this was his last birthday while attending school. The last few years had definitely been the best years of his life, even with the ups and downs. He had made not only friends, but a family. It was sad to think that next year, they might not all be together on his birthday. He would have to make sure he enjoyed his night to the fullest. 

Lance was stilling playing with Kosmo when they arrived home, Kosmo yipping excitedly as Allura giggled. Romelle was there as well, watching them in amusement. Pidge looked up from her computer as Keith and Shiro walked in. 

"Finally," she said exasperatedly. "I thought I'd have to listen to Lance tease the dog all night."

"It's like...three o'clock," Shiro laughed, and Lance jumped up and hugged him. 

"Tonight's going to be your best birthday ever," Lance told him, slinging his arm around Shiro's shoulders. "I know you have to leave tomorrow and everything to go see your family, but for tonight, you are ours."

Pizza was delivered, and Hunk brought out a ginormous layered cake. They watched the slideshow that Pidge and Lance had made while they ate. It was long, too- nearly ten minutes, and had photos dating all the way back to freshman year. It was crazy to watch as the photos went by. They had all changed so much in the four years that they had been friends. So much had changed just from the beginning of the current school year. Shiro could even notice how much happier he looked in photos once Keith had appeared at his side. It was like everything had finally fallen into place for Shiro, and he couldn't ask for anything to be more perfect. He was almost done with school, he had the best friends that he could ever ask for, and a boyfriend he loved more than he had ever loved anyone. Even his love for Adam had been different. With Adam, Shiro had always felt like he had to work to make things happy. He would try and try and try, and something would always come up. But with Keith, he never had to try and be someone who he wasn't. He was able to be himself, and it felt so natural, like they had always been meant to be together. 

Shiro wasn't sure what he had done to be so blessed by his life, but he was grateful for all of it, especially all the people in the room with him. 

"Shiro," Keith whispered, a small smile on his face, and Shiro realized he was crying as the slideshow ended, and everyone was looking at him. He felt highly embarrassed and tried to laugh it off, but Keith was hugging him, and then Lance, and then everyone, basically smothering him, but he didn't care. He just wanted to stay there in that moment, his heart overflowing with love for the family he had found in this silly little small town. 

Once he'd pulled himself together, Shiro pulled out pictionary and they all began to play. Lance of course had to bring out his specialty drinks, and Shiro even let himself have a little more than he usually did. It was his birthday, after all, and they were all laughing and having so much fun that he really didn't care. Everyone apparently felt the same, and soon enough Pidge had put on her favorite dance playlist, and they were all up dancing with one another and laughing. Hunk twirled Romelle around the living room like they were ballroom dancers. Lance and Pidge started to mimic them comedically, and Allura wouldn't stop laughing. Shiro pulled Keith up and made him do the same, and although he turned red, he did it anyway, and by then end, they were all laughing. 

Unfortunately, Keith and Shiro did have a rather early morning tomorrow, as they'd be leaving for California. As much and Shiro could have happily danced with his friends all night, he needed to be somewhat rested in order to face his family tomorrow. Lance, Allura and Romelle said their goodbyes, giving lots of hugs and birthday wishes. Allura promised to get them home safely, having been the only one who didn't indulge in Lance's punch. Keith made sure to remind Allura twice before she left that she and Lance promised to help Pidge and Hunk take care of Kosmo while he and Shiro would be away. By the time Shiro finally flopped over on his bed, he was exhausted, but happy. Keith came and crawled into bed with him, also looking exhausted, and Shiro remembered how he'd been up super early to make breakfast and decorate for Shiro's birthday. 

"Thank you, for today," Shiro told him, pressing a kiss to Keith's forehead as Kosmo jumped up on the bed to cuddle with them. 

"No need to thank me," Keith murmured, already falling asleep. "I take it you had a good birthday?"

Shiro smiled. "The best I could ever ask for," Shiro replied, and Keith smiled too, laying his head on Shiro's chest.

Shiro would always remember that day as one of the best he ever had.

* * *

"All right, I think that's everything," Keith sighed and they packed their suitcases away into the back of Shiro's car.

Pidge and Hunk stood outside with them, Pidge holding Kosmo's leash.

"Have a safe trip, you two," Hunk said, hugging Shiro and Keith in turn. "Send me lots of pictures so I can be jealous of you."

"Yeah, make sure you rub it in," Pidge added as she hugged them too. "You can even FaceTime us as you walk on the beach."

Shiro chuckled. Keith bent down and hugged Kosmo.

"Don't forget to feed him, and take him out on his walks," he told Pidge. "And make sure you give him lots of hugs while we're gone."

Pidge rolled her eyes. "He'll be fine, Keith. It's only a week."

"A week is a long time for a dog," Keith pouted.

"Just go, before you miss your flight," she said with a laugh. "I promise we'll take very good care of him while you're gone. Lance is super excited to come play with him."

Keith sighed and stood up. "Okay. Be good, Kosmo. Pidge will FaceTime with us so we can see you."

Shiro chuckled. "Thank you, guys, for watching him. And we'll send you lots of pictures."

"Yeah, yeah," Pidge said with a grin. "Have fun."

"Text us when you get there," Hunk added.

Finally, Shiro and Keith got into the car, waving at Hunk and Pidge one last time. Shiro started the car, looking over at Keith. Keith had been a bit frantic all morning, and Shiro could tell he was nervous.

"Are you ready?" Shiro asked him, and Keith looked over and nodded. Shiro took his hand and squeezed it. Shiro was a bit nervous, too. But there was no going back, now.

"All right, let's go." 


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> California time!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one a bit long aha ^^ ;
> 
> Also, the feels...yeah there are going to be a lot of those as we head into the end of this story, so...just be aware xD Im estimating that there will be five more chapters after this, but we shall see :D

Keith looked out the airplane window as they finally touched down in LA. Flying had definitely been a new experience for Keith. He found he really didn't mind it; it was actually quite fun, and the views had been beautiful. Airports, and luggage, and running around was not very fun, however. He was glad that they were finally there. Night had already fallen in California, even though they had gone back a couple hours thanks to the time difference. They'd been stuck in a four hour layover on the way, but luckily Keith had Shiro there with him, so they basically just walked around the airport and drank overpriced coffee as they waited.

Now that they were actually in California, Keith was starting to feel nervous about meeting Shiro's parents again. Shiro was nervous as well, even though he didn't admit it. He kept trying to be reassuring for Keith, yet Keith could see clear as day on Shiro's face that he was just as nervous. They were both exhausted and on edge as they got off the plane and went to find their luggage. Keith texted their friends to let them know they had arrived safely in LA as Shiro tried to get ahold of his mother. Keith was smiling at photos of Kosmo Pidge had sent him when a warm voice said "Takashi," from behind him, making him jump.

Shiro's face brightened and he hugged his mother tightly. His mother was quite beautiful, her dark hair streaked with white, a smile much like her son's on her face. Keith watched a bit awkwardly as she held her son tightly.

"How I've missed you," she said as they broke apart, looking up at Shiro lovingly. "You look so good, and strong."

Shiro smiled. "I've missed you too, Mama."

Keith couldn't help but smile at Shiro calling his mother _Mama_. She looked at Keith, and smiled just as brightly. She pulled him into her arms as well, and Keith froze up a bit, unsure of what to do. Shiro smiled embarrassedly over his mother's shoulders, mouthing _sorry_.

"You must be Keith," his mother said, apparently unaware of Keith's awkwardness. "I'm so happy to finally meet you, Takashi has told me so much about you." She finally pulled away, to Keith's relief, and he smiled uncertainly at her. "I have a feeling you are the reason my Takashi looks as well as he does. He's practically glowing."

"Okay, Mama, that's enough," Shiro said, turning red. "We should get going, you know." He looked around. "He didn't come with you?"

Mrs. Shirogane smiled sadly. "No, your father's trip got moved up a day, so he left this morning. He will be back right before you leave."

Shiro opened his mouth to say something, but changed his mind and shut it. Shiro had told Keith that he often wishes his mother would leave his father, but for some reason she won't have a word of it. He often has to be careful about what he says about his father around her, and had to bite back his words. 

They followed Mrs. Shirogane out of the airport. Keith felt relieved to breathe in some fresh air after being stuck in airports all day. They found the car and packed their things away. Keith felt a bit lonely as he got into the backseat of the car, and Shiro got up front with his mother. They made some small talk, talking about Shiro's classes and work, as Keith stared out the window. It was dark, but the city was still very alive. He was excited to see what it looked like in the daytime. He was going to see the ocean for the first time, and Shiro was going to be there with him. Meeting Shiro's mother definitely was not as scary as Keith thought it had been, though he did still feel out of place. And at least Shiro's father wouldn't be around for most of the trip. Keith was actually a bit excited now that they were actually there to have this time with Shiro. 

Keith felt like they were driving forever, and he had almost fallen asleep by the time that they pulled up to Shiro's family home. Keith couldn't help but to stare up in shock at the gigantic house. He'd never even been in a house so big before. Shiro looked a bit embarrassed again as Keith stood there with his bags, gaping up at his home. It was gleamingly white and the lawn was perfect, like something out of a storybook.

"I know, it's a lot different than where we live now," Shiro said with a shy grin. 

Keith looked at him, sill gaping. "I didn't realize you grew up in a house like this."

Shiro shrugged. "I was always normal to me."

Keith's childhood home would have been an embarrassment next to Shiro's. They got inside, and Keith again was blown away by how _perfect_ it looked. He felt like he had just walked into some sort of catalog. He remembered Shiro mentioning how his parents had been very neat and orderly, but he didn't realize it was to this extent. He felt like he didn't belong here at all, like his mere existence was dirtying it.  

"Takashi will show you to your room," Shiro's mother said, smiling at him. "Are you boys hungry? I can order us in some dinner."

"Sure, thank you," Shiro answered. He took Keith's hand and led him up the staircase, leaving Keith to just smile at her awkwardly. 

"I'm sorry about her," Shiro said as they walked down the hallway. Keith studied the family photos on the walls; Shiro, looking rather unhappy, his mother, hand on his shoulder, and a man who Keith could assume was Shiro's father, looking a bit terrifying even in photos. Keith felt like he was being judged by a photograph. 

"It's fine," Keith answered, looking away from the photo. "She seems really nice. I can see a lot of similarities between you two."

Shiro smiled. "This is one of the guest rooms," he said, pushing the door open and turning on the light. Even the unused bedroom looked perfect. "Unfortunately, as nice as my mother is, she might frown upon us sleeping in the same bed together. But my room is right down the hall here."

Keith didn't even want to think about Shiro's mother walking in when they were laying in bed together. 

He put his bags down carefully, as though his bags would surely break something in the room. "I want to see your room," he told Shiro, and Shiro grinned. 

He led Keith down the hall and into another room. Shiro's room was a lot more livable than the others. He had posters covering the walls of singers and night skies. He had two bookshelves overflown with books, and more books stacked on a desk. "I haven't been back here in a while," Shiro sighed as he sat down on the bed. 

"You really do have a million books," Keith mused as he studied the bookshelves. "I thought you had a lot back at the house."

"I just brought my favorites," Shiro said with a grin. His smile faded, and he sighed. Keith turned to look at him, and he realized Shiro looked quite sad. 

"What's wrong?" Keith asked him, sitting down on the bed as well. 

"Nothing," Shiro said. "I just...I don't like being back here. I could never be myself when I was here, and if I was...." He sighed and shook his head, trying to smile again. "I'm sorry, don't mind me."

"It's okay," Keith said at once, reaching over for Shiro's hand. "You can tell me anything."

Shiro smiled appreciatively. "I was a little selfish, bringing you here," he admitted. "I know it's not the coziest place, and my family isn't the most...functional. I did really want my mother to meet you, but mostly...I was just afraid to come here alone."

Keith couldn't help but feel a little guilty. He had known that coming home was hard for Shiro, and yet he really hadn't been thinking about Shiro's anxiety that much at all. He scooted closer to Shiro, opening up his arms. Shiro chuckled and leaned into him, letting Keith wrap his arms around him. 

"I'll do whatever I can to make it better for you," Keith told him. 

"You already are," Shiro sighed. "Thank you for coming with me."

"I'd follow you anywhere," Keith told him, and it was the truth. 

They sat there quietly for a little while, nearly falling asleep again, until Shiro's mother called them down for dinner. It was such a strange feeling for Keith, following Shiro down stairs and taking a seat at the dining room table. It felt so proper, so family-like. 

"So, Keith," Shiro's mother said, watching him with a little twinkle in her eyes. "What are you going to school for?"

"Oh- um...I'm not sure yet," he told her. "I've just been getting some general classes out of the way while I try to figure it out."

"That's smart," she replied fondly. "It's better than wasting your time on something you don't want to do."

Keith smiled, feeling rather pleased. He normally just felt stressed by his lack of decision making. 

"What about your parents? What do they do?" she asked. 

_Oh great_ , Keith thought. He felt Shiro get a bit tense and grab his hand under the table. 

"My...my mother's nurse," Keith told her, which wasn't a lie. She didn't have to know that he'd barely met her a few weeks ago. "And my father died when I was twelve."

"Oh." Shiro's mother looked mortified. "I'm sorry, Takashi never told me about your family. I'm so sorry to hear that."

"It's fine," Keith said automatically, studying the chicken and rice on his plate. 

Mrs. Shirogane cleared her throat and brought her smile back. "Well, I can tell that you've done wonders for Takashi. I haven't seen him looking so well, and so happy, in a long time. I always worry about him, being so far away. But I can tell that he's been doing just fine with you."

Shiro blushed again. "He makes me happy, as well," Keith said, smiling at him. 

"My Takashi has always been a gentle boy," his mother said fondly. "Ever since he was a little boy. He found a love for books, and for helping others. My husband would try to get him involved in sports or hunting, but Takashi wouldn't have it. But you put a book in front of him, or take him out to gaze at the stars, and he would just light up."

"Oh god," Shiro muttered, but Keith was quite delighted to imagine a little Shiro looking up at the stars. 

"Don't be embarrassed Takashi, it's not a bad thing," his mother told him. "You have a big heart. What I'm trying to say is that I'm happy that you've found someone who appreciates it as much as I do."

Keith couldn't help but feel a bit warm and fuzzy inside. He decided that he liked Shiro's mother quite a lot. Shiro smiled embarrassedly at him, but Keith could tell that he was pleased as well. 

After they finished eating, they went back up to their rooms, too tired from the long day of traveling. "Well, you know where to find me if you need me," Shiro said, pausing outside of the guest room. "You can text me too."

Keith laughed. "From the next room over?"

Shiro shrugged. "Why not?"

Sure enough, when Keith got into bed and plugged in his phone, he had a message from Shiro waiting for him. 

_Goodnight. I love you._  

* * *

 

The next day, Shiro's mother held a late birthday celebration for Shiro with just the three of them. She got Shiro another cake, and made him sit there and blow all of his candles out. He opened gifts from her, which included a new sweater ( "since Pennsylvania is so cold" ) and some books that she'd been picking up for him. She then had a fun time going through old photos with Keith, showing him pictures of Shiro when he was a child. Keith found it quite adorable, though Shiro practically hid behind a book the whole time. She took them out to dinner that evening at some fancy restaurant that was apparently tradition for them. Keith could tell that it wasn't Shiro's favorite, but he smiled anyway, to make his mother happy. 

Keith realized that Shiro had probably grown up with the goal of making everyone around him happy, without putting much thought into what had made _him_ happy. At least, back in Pennsylvania, he had a bit more liberty, and friends that had helped make him his own person. But Keith could tell that Shiro was much more reserved, even with his mother.  He decided that they would need to get out on their own for a bit, so Shiro could breathe a little easier. 

They spent the next couple days being as touristy as possible. Shiro took Keith around his neighborhood and showed him the places he'd frequent growing up; a nearby park, the library, his school, his favorite coffee shop. Keith loved getting these little glimpses of Shiro's life, and picturing a young Shiro with his books and cappuccinos. The weather was perfect, and it felt great to be out in the sun after months of gray skies. 

Keith let Shiro drag him to all the tourist traps in LA, though Keith didn't really care about that kind of thing. It was still fun to at least say that he had gone and seen it. And Shiro was there beside him, so there was no way that he could not enjoy it. They took selfies in Hollywood and sent them to their friends back home, posing with the Hollywood sign in the background. 

What Keith was most excited about was seeing the ocean, and finally they made their way down to the beaches in Venice Beach. Shiro's house was actually quite close, and Keith scolded Shiro for not taking him there right away. The palm trees and sand under his feet made Keith feel like he was in a different word entirely. It was alive with people all times of day, with many shops and restaurants around. Keith even picked himself up a Venice Beach T-shirt, which Shiro found hilarious. Keith tried to put his feet into the water, against Shiro's warning, but the water was indeed cold, much colder than Keith would have expected. 

"I tried to tell you," Shiro laughed, but at least Keith had been able to put his feet in the water at all. 

They made a habit of coming down to the beach every evening during the week. The sun would set right over the water, the sky glowing with hues of orange and pink. They would sit side by side on the short cement wall, their feet in the sand and watch as the sun sank lower and lower into the vast ocean in front of them. Keith found that he treasured these moments more than any other. Sitting there next to Shiro, watching the sunset, Keith felt a peace and happiness that made any worry in his heart go away, at least for a little while. 

"My dad will probably be back when we get home," Shiro said on their last night in California, as they sat in their usual spot. Keith was a little sad that he wouldn't be able to come here with Shiro again and again. 

"Are you worried?" Keith asked him, and Shiro nodded. 

"My dad...." Shiro sighed. "He only cares about himself and what's best for him. He doesn't care about anyone's feelings." Shiro looked at Keith, frowning. "I'm praying with every fiber that he's at least somewhat cordial with you. Hopefully we will only have to see him at dinner. But if he does say anything to you, just...please don't take it to heart. Never let his words hurt you."

"The way his words have hurt you?" Keith guessed, and a look passed over Shiro's face- almost like shame. 

"I did let his words hurt me," Shiro admitted. "When you grow up with someone like him, and you hear the things he says...I don't know, you start to believe them. That's why I knew I had to leave. That's why I can't be happy about coming back." Shiro sighed. "I only come here for my mother, and since I can't talk her into leaving him, I put up with him. For her. But I don't let his words hurt me. Not anymore. So...just try to remember that."

Keith smiled and leaned against him "I'll keep it in mind. I'll just look at you all through dinner."

Shiro chuckled. "I'm sure he'll love that."

They were silent for a few moments. "I wish we could stay right here, forever," Keith said with a sigh. 

Shiro kissed his head. "So do I. Maybe someday we can move and live next to the ocean. Just not here."

Keith laughed. "I'd like that, I think. Though it can't be too far from the snow, either."

"Maybe we can move to the Northeast," Shiro suggested. "We can live in Boston, or New York, or even just a small town by the ocean. We can have the snow in the winter, and spend all summer on the beach."

Keith smiled. It sounded perfect, to him. "Maybe when I'm done with school. Or maybe I can just find another school to transfer to. I wouldn't mind it, as long as I was with you."

"We can go anywhere you want," Shiro told him. 

"Kosmo would like the beach," Keith said thoughtfully. 

Shiro laughed. "I can picture him already."

The thought of him and Shiro finding their own little home in a new place sounded awfully refreshing to Keith. They would be able to really start over, with no expectations hanging over them. He could gladly imagine spending the day at the beach, or cold nights next to a fire place, and all the in between, with Shiro right there next to him.  

It started to get dark, and they decided it was time to head back. Keith could tell that Shiro didn't want to return to his house. Keith suggested they just stay out the rest of the night, but Shiro shook his head. "He'll wait up for me to come home, and then tell me I'm a bad son for not coming home for dinner," he said with a sigh as they pulled up to the house. "It's better to just get it over with and hope for the best. I'm going to try and avoid a fight with him at all costs."

Keith couldn't help but feel a sense of foreboding as they walked into the house. Shiro's mother came to greet them as they took off their shoes. 

"Your father is home, and dinner is almost ready," she said to Shiro, straightening his clothes and patting his hair. Even she looked a little stressed out, and she had been calm and lovely for their entire visit. She turned to Keith and tried to straighten him out as well, though his hair was less manageable than Shiro's. Mrs. Shirogane smiled at him, as if to say _I'm sorry you have to deal with this_ , and patted his shoulder. 

Shiro's father was already sitting at the dinner table when they arrived. He was wearing a business suit, his graying hair slicked back. He reminded Keith of a shark for some reason. He smiled at them as they joined him at the table, but it wasn't a genuine smile. "Takashi," he said to his son with a nod. "It's good to see you."

"You as well," Shiro replied, and it was so tense and awkward that Keith could surely cut the air with his dinner knife. 

Shiro's father turned to Keith, looking him up and down. _Judging him_ , surely. "And you must be Keith," he said, offering his hand. Keith shook it, his hand getting a bit squished by Shiro's father. "It's nice to finally put a face to the name. My wife has said my son talks a great deal about you."

"Nice to meet you, sir," Keith said awkwardly, relieved when he got his hand back. 

"Takashi, it's almost time for your graduation," Mr. Shirogane said, apparently done with Keith. "I take it you are prepared?"

"As much as I can be," Shiro answered. 

"Have you gotten any internships?" his father asked. 

Shiro wasn't even making eye contact. "I've been doing some volunteer work."

"Hm." His father looked at his phone. "Any plans on moving out of Pennsylvania?"

"Not sure yet," Shiro said, and Keith reached under the table to grab his hand. Shiro looked at him and smiled, though it was almost a grimace. 

His father sighed. "You should really have a solid plan by now, Takashi. You can't live with those kids you're staying with forever. Plus, you're never going to find a good paying job in that market. It's better if you move, maybe at least somewhere like Philadelphia-"

"Dinner is ready!" Shiro's mother said a bit loudly, bringing plates of food out. Keith stood up to help her. 

"She doesn't need help," Shiro's father said, his eyes on Keith again. 

Keith stood there awkwardly, unsure of what to do. Shiro's mother smiled at him, and Shiro said nothing. Keith sat back down. 

The silence was horrible as they started to eat. Shiro's mother had made some sort of pot roast, which was delicious, but the anxiety in the room was making him sick to his stomach. Shiro also barely ate his food. 

"You can eat, you know," Shiro's father said, watching them. "My wife worked hard to cook this meal."

Keith hurriedly took a big bite of food; a bit too big, actually, and he nearly choked on it. Shiro's father looked at him in disapproval as he coughed, Shiro patting his back. Great, now his father _definitely_ hated him. 

Keith searched his mind for something to say to make dinner a little less terrible, but he came up with nothing. Shiro looked like he was going to snap any second, which was weird for Keith. Shiro was always the picture of calmness, and he never got truly angry. But Keith could feel the waves of hatred coming off of him, and he was sure Shiro's parents could, as well. 

"Well, it's nice that you came all this way to visit," Shiro's father sighed. "Since we weren't able to see you on Christmas and all. The asked about you, Takashi, at the holiday party."

"I'm sure that they did," Shiro replied. 

His father's eyes narrowed. "It was hard, going without you. Though I should be used to the disappointment by now."

For the first time that night, Keith felt an actually surge of anger course through him. Shiro said nothing, staring into his plate. Keith's hands were shaking. Shiro's mother was quiet. She didn't come to her son's defense at all. 

"I'm finished with my dinner," Shiro said, standing up. He nearly ran out of the room. Shiro's mother stood up and ran after him, leaving Keith alone at the table with Shiro's father. Keith wanted to follow Shiro, and make sure he was alright, but at the same time, he wanted nothing more than to punch his father squarely in the face. 

"Shiro is not a disappointment," he said, his heart hammering in his chest and he used all his self control _not_ to punch anything. 

Shiro's father smirked. "I take it you know him so well, after what, six months?"

"I do know him," Keith said forcefully. "I know him much better than you do."

His father laughed. "That's funny. I know my son, Keith. I know exactly why he is so infatuated with you. My son has always had a knack for trying to save things. My wife was always too soft with him, that's why. He tries to save every one and everything, and he kills himself in the process. I remember when he was a child, and he brought a bird into the house with a broken wing, begging my wife to help it. She, of course, promised to help him take it to some whack job veterinarian. But I was the one that told him that you can't save everything. A bird with a broken wing is as good as dead, isn't it?"

Keith gripped the table. "I don't think so."

"Of course you don't," his father replied. "You're an orphan, and a criminal. What, you think I don't know?" he laughed when Keith's eyes widened in shock. "Do you think I'm not going to look into my son's newest plaything? I know who you are, Keith Kogane. I know exactly where you've been and what you've done. I'm sure my son thinks he can make you a better person. _Save you_. But both you and I know that it will never happen. You're only going to bring him down, because people like you, Keith- there's no saving them. You're just like a bird with a broken wing. There's no point to it."

Keith couldn't get his brain to work. He half wanted to rush forward and strangle the man in front of him, and half wanted to run away and never look back. He felt as if his own heart had been ripped out, as Shiro's father laughed. He stood up and walked away without another word, wishing to never look into that man's face ever again.

* * *

 Shiro knocked on the guest bedroom door and opened it without waiting for an answer. He breathed a sigh of relief when Keith was there, sitting on the bed. Part of Shiro was sure that Keith had ran out the front door and not looked back. Shiro wouldn't have blamed him at all if he had. 

"Hey," Keith said, a sad smile. 

"Hey," Shiro replied, sitting down on the bed. "I'm...I'm so sorry you had to see that. I'm a liar, saying that I don't let his words hurt me. They always hurt me. I just like to tell myself I don't care."

Keith sighed. "I'm sorry that you had to grow up with a man like that. I don't think I would have been able to handle it."

Shiro studied him. "You didn't come up after I left. You didn't say anything to him, did you?"

Keith tensed up a bit. "Um...no, not really. I just...I told him he was wrong, and then...and then I left. I figured your mom was talking to you, so I just came in here."

Shiro sighed. He had been worried about what his father might have said. "Well, we'll be leaving in the morning, and then we won't have to see him anymore. I honestly can't wait to get back and see everyone, and sleep in my room again." He looked up at the ceiling. "This place is where I grew up, but it isn't my home."

Keith cleared his throat. "Well, we should probably get to bed, since we have to leave in the morning."

Shiro looked at him, frowning. Keith wasn't looking at him. "I can stay here, for a while," he offered, though he really just wanted Keith to hold him for a little while. 

Keith smiled, but it was strained. "I don't think we want to upset your parents anymore. We should just go to bed."

"Oh." Shiro tried to pretend that it didn't hurt. "Okay. You're probably right." He stood up. "Are...are you okay?"

Keith nodded. "I'm just tired."

Shiro didn't believe him. Maybe Keith was second guessing everything, after all. He should have never brought Keith here. He should have known that his dad would ruin things, just like he'd tried to ruin every good thing in Shiro's life growing up. 

"Okay, well, I'll let you get to sleep," Shiro said awkwardly, trying to ignore the fact that his heart felt like it was being crushed. "I'll see you in the morning. I...I love you."

Keith finally looked at him, and his eyes looked so sad. "I love you too," he whispered. 

Shiro wanted to hug him, to make him feel better, to make _himself_ feel better-but he didn't. He couldn't. He just turned walked out of the room, shutting the door behind him. 


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just wanted to say a big thank you for all the views, kudos and reviews I've gotten this far! This story has been so fun for me to write, and I want to thank for you coming along for the journey <3

Shiro barely slept that night, feeling incredibly alone as he tossed and turned. He wanted to go see Keith, but he didn't want to at the same time. Shiro couldn't help but feel like this was all his fault. He had asked Keith to come here with him, knowing full well what his father was like. Shiro had hoped that they could get through one dinner-just _one dinner_ \- without it blowing up in his face. But he should have known better. He didn't like being in the same room with his father for thirty seconds, let alone a whole dinner. 

The majority of their trip had been amazing. But just like that, his father had ruined the whole thing. 

Shiro was exhausted the next morning when his alarm went off. He must have just barely fallen asleep. He went to wake Keith up, but Keith was already awake as well, looking as rested as Shiro felt. They were both quiet as they finished packing up their things and headed downstairs. His mother was awake, brewing them coffee, and luckily his father had already left. 

"Thank you both for coming," his mother said, pulling Shiro into her arms and hugging him tightly. "It was a pleasure to have you here." She let go, a sad smile on her face, and turned to Keith. "And you too, Keith. I'm happy I was finally able to meet you."

"I am too," Keith said, though he sounded exhausted and looked like he'd rather be anywhere else. "Thank you for having me."

They drank their coffee in silence. Shiro kept trying to catch Keith's eye, but Keith didn't seem to want to look at him. They loaded their things into his mother's car, and soon they were off to the airport again. Shiro could only hope that once they were home, and surrounded by their things and their friends, that he could try to sit down and talk to Keith. He had to at least properly apologize for his selfishness in bringing Keith along in the first place. He had hoped that Keith being there would have made things better, but Shiro felt it made things even worse. 

They were quiet as they waited for their plane to come, and as they boarded, and even as the plane took off. Shiro couldn't stand being this close to Keith, and yet so far away at the same time. The only time they talked to one other was over useless things, like the weather and their flight plan and what they would eat for dinner. They were both stepping around the thing they actually needed to talk about. 

They were on their flight back to Pennsylvania when Keith fell asleep, his head falling on Shiro's shoulder. Shiro sat as still as he could, afraid of waking him, but his eyes watered before he could stop them. 

They could talk when they were home, and things would be okay again. 

* * *

 "He missed you," Pidge said with a grin as Kosmo jumped up on them, tail wagging excitedly. "I'm pretty sure he sat by the door waiting for you to come home ninety percent of the time."

"Awww, we missed you too," Keith said as he hugged Kosmo tightly. "I'll try to never leave you that long ever again."

"How was your flight?" Hunk asked, helping Shiro with his bags. 

"Long," Shiro said, forcing a smile. "I'm just glad to be home."

Hunk smiled uncertainly. "Did it go okay, with your dad?" 

Shiro looked over at Keith, who was still hugging Kosmo. "It never goes okay with him," Shiro muttered, leaving Hunk looking lost as Shiro hauled his things into his room. 

Shiro had never been more excited to flop over on his bed. His bed had never felt more welcoming. His head already felt a bit clearer than it had before, though he was still exhausted. The farther away he was from California, the better he felt. He was back in the place he felt safe, and loved. He was back surrounded by all the people who never failed to support him. 

He loved Keith, and he knew Keith loved him. This was just a little bump in the road. They would just need to sit and talk about things, and work things out together. He and Keith had never really had a fight or disagreement before. Though this wasn't exactly a fight, it was definitely something that Shiro didn't like. But he could fix it. 

He closed his eyes. 

The next thing he knew, Kosmo was an inch from his face, staring at him. 

Shiro sat up so quickly he almost fell of his bed. It was already dark, though it had still been somewhat light out when they got home. He looked around for his phone and saw that it was already nine o'clock in the evening. He'd been asleep for nearly four hours. 

"Shit," he said, jumping up. He was supposed to be talking to Keith and fixing whatever it was that had happened. He ran out into the living room, Kosmo at his heels. Hunk and Pidge were out there, but Keith was not. 

"W-where's Keith?" Shiro asked, as Hunk and Pidge looked over at him. He went toward's Keith's room, but Pidge stopped him. 

"He's not in there."

Shiro's hand hovered over the doorknob to Keith's room. He turned and looked at them. "What? Where is he?"

Pidge and Hunk looked at one another, and Shiro got a sinking feeling in his chest. 

"We don't know where he went," Hunk said sadly. "He just got up and said he needed some time to himself, and he got in his car...and he hasn't come back yet."

Shiro didn't move. "How long ago was that?"

"Like...a couple hours ago?" Hunk said uncertainly. 

"We tried to talk to him," Pidge added. "But...he didn't seem to be in the talking mood. I feel like we just made it worse."

Shiro pulled out his phone. He didn't have any messages or calls from Keith. He dialed his number, but there was no answer. Shiro wasn't expecting him to pick up, but he had hoped. 

"What happened, Shiro?" Hunk asked. 

"I...I don't know," Shiro said, his shoulders sagging. "Everything was fine, the whole trip. And then my father had to come home. He was...he was just being his usual self at dinner. You know, letting me know what I disappointment I was and telling me all the things I'm doing wrong in my life."

"Shiro," Pidge said softly, and Shiro just shook his head. 

"I shouldn't have put Keith in that situation," Shiro sighed, rubbing his eyes. "I shouldn't have asked him to come. It was stupid of me."

"Wait...did your dad say something to him?" Pidge asked. 

Shiro looked at her. "No," he answered, but then he realized, that may not be the truth. He certainly hadn't heard his dad say anything, and Keith had said that he hadn't said anything, but Keith also was one of those people who would lie in that situation. 

 "I guess we just kind of assumed," Pidge said, frowning. "I mean, it's definitely not like Keith to turn his back on you if your dad was being an asshole."

Shiro's phone rang, and he looked at it quickly, but was disappointed when he saw it was his mother calling, and not Keith. "Hey, Mama," he said tiredly when he answered. "I'm sorry I didn't call you when I got home, I actually fell asleep."

"That's okay, Takashi," his mother answered. "I know you had a long day, but I'm glad you got in okay." She cleared her throat. "Is everything okay, with you and Keith?"

Even his mother had noticed something was wrong? "Um...I don't really know, honestly."

His mother sighed. "I was hoping...your father mentioned that he had a talk with Keith last night."

Shiro's stomach churned. "What kind of talk?" he asked as calmly as he could, though he knew no word that came out of his father's mouth was good. 

"I...I'm not sure, he didn't really say," his mother said nervously. "And I remembered you both seemed a bit distant this morning...anyway, I can tell that you really care about one another. I'm sure it will be fine."

Shiro took a deep breath. "It will be. I'm sorry, I have to go now."

"Okay," his mother said, a bit anxiously. "Take care of yourself, Takashi. I love you."

"I love you, too."

He hung up the phone. Pidge and Hunk were watching him nervously. Shiro felt as if he could run his fist straight through the wall. He should have known last night. He should have realized exactly what Pidge had realized- that Keith wouldn't turn Shiro away so easily. He had been stupid, letting his father's words get to him and make him distrust everything, even the person he was in love with. 

"Shiro?" Hunk asked. "Are you-?"

"I need to call my father," Shiro whispered. "For the last time."

* * *

Keith waited nervously on the front steps. He had driven around for a long time, before finally feeling too tired to even drive anymore. But he hadn't wanted to go home quite yet, either. So he went the only other place he could think to go. 

Allura answered the door, looking surprised. "Keith!" she said with and smile, pulling him into a hug. "I wasn't expecting you to stop by! Did you just get home?"

"No, I got home a few hours ago," he said, hugging her back half-heartedly. 

She let go and looked behind him. "Is Shiro with you?"

Keith swallowed hard. "No," he whispered. "I...I was wondering if I could stay here for a little while. I just don't want to be home right now."

A surprised look passed Allura's face- followed by a worried one. "What happened?" she asked. 

Keith shook his head. "I...I don't really want to talk about it right now. I just...I just needed somewhere to go."

Allura frowned. "Okay, she said, stepping aside to let him in. "Lance is in the bedroom, watching TV," she said, leading him to the couch. "I'll let him know you are here. Do you want a drink, or something to eat?"

Keith just shook his head. "I'm fine. I'm just tired."

Allura's face softened. "Well you are always welcome to stay here whenever you need," she said, reaching out and squeezing his hand. "You are like family to us, you know." She stood up. "I'm going to go let Lance know you are here. Feel free to watch something, or take a nap or whatever. Do you...do you want to talk to Lance instead?"

Keith shook his head again. Allura sighed. "All right," she said. "Just make yourself at home."

She looked confused, but when it was clear he really wasn't going to be doing much talking, she disappeared down the hall. Keith could hear her talking to Lance, but he didn't hear what they were saying, nor did he care. He pulled the blanket off the top of the couch and kicked off his shoes, curling up on his side. He was exhausted, and confused. He'd been trying to clear his head all day, but it hadn't helped. He could still hear Shiro's father's words echoing in his head. 

_An orphan, a criminal._

_A bird with a broken wing._

_As good as dead._

 Shiro had warned him, of course. He had warned him not listen to a word his father said. But the problem was that the things that Shiro's father had said to Keith...well, they were all true. He was an orphaned criminal. It was true that those things would never leave him, no matter what he did. And Keith had been worrying constantly that he was pulling Shiro down. He thought about that time that they were out walking downtown before Thanksgiving, when they had come so close to running right into Zachery and his friends. Keith had nightmares for weeks after the attack in the alley where Shiro would get hurt or even killed right in front of his eyes. He had pushed all those thoughts away over and over, but they never went away for long. It didn't take much for the doubt to seep back in. And to have someone other than himself-even if it was Shiro's asshole of a father- see it too...well, that made it even worse. Keith couldn't push it away as just being his own anxiety if he wasn't the only person who was thinking it. 

 _He tries to save everyone and everything, and kills himself in the process_. 

Keith rolled over, pulling the blanket over his head, his eyes wet with tears. He didn't want to think anymore. He just wanted to sleep.

* * *

Shiro sat outside on the steps of the front porch, Kosmo by his side. The night air was cold, much colder than it had been in California. But Shiro welcomed it. He welcomed everything about the place he had made his home. Adrenaline was coursing through him as he looked down at his father's phone number in his phone. He had dreamed about cutting his father out of his life many times, but he'd never had the strength to do it. He had put up with his father's abuse for so long. But he would not stand by and allow it any longer, especially if his father had turned it onto Keith. 

He took a deep breath, and hit dial. 

"Takashi." Even the sound of his father's voice made his insides boil. "I'm surprised to be hearing from you."

"Dont worry," Shiro said, trying to keep his voice even. "I will make this quick. What exactly did you say to Keith last night after I left?"

His father had the nerve to _laugh_. "What, was he crying to you about it?"

Shiro could feel his nails digging into his palm. "What did you say to him?"

"Nothing," his father replied. "I just told him the truth. I told him I knew about his past, and that he was no good for you."

"You- you know-?" Shiro wasn't sure why it came to as a surprise to him. Of course his father knew about Keith. His father lived for finding everyone's dirty dark secrets, and using them against them. 

"That's right, I know," his father said, sounding bored. "And if he left you, you are better off without him."

"You're wrong," Shiro said, his voice rising. "You always have been wrong, and you always will be wrong. Keith is good for me. He's been the best thing that has ever happened to me, and if you knew anything at all about me, you'd know that that is the truth. But you don't know me. You've never even tried to know me. Once you realized I wasn't the son you wanted me to be, you threw me aside like a used rag."

"Takashi-"

"Let me speak, goddammit!" Shiro yelled. "Ive been listening to you my whole damned life, the least you can do is listen to me!"

Shiro breathed heavily, waiting for his father to say something. He half expected his father to just hang up, but he didn't. 

"You've made me doubt myself my whole life," Shiro told him. "You made me feel like I was worthless, like I was some burden to you and to everyone I've ever met. Why do you think I chose a college so far away, _Dad_? To get away from you. That's all I ever wanted was to be as far away from you as possible. I came back when I had to, for my mother's sake. Never for yours. I would have been happier if I'd never had to see you ever again. But I realized something, tonight. I'm an adult now. I've made my way through college. I have friends and a boyfriend who love me, and support me for who I really am. Not some person they want me to be. And I have no reason to keep letting you be a part of my life."

Angry tears slid down his face. "You've taken so much from me throughout my life. I'm not going to let you take anything more from me. I'm not going to call you, ever again. I don't want you coming to my graduation. And I'm not coming back home again if you are there. I'm done."

"You say that now," his father said, unperturbed. "But as soon as you need something, or need money, you know I'll be the first person you call."

"I'd rather starve then ask you for anything," Shiro spat. "And I won't have to worry, because I know I have people who will be there for me if I need it. They are my family. You might be related to me by blood, but _you_ are not my family."

"You're ungrateful, you always have been, Takashi," his father hissed. "I hope that you fall so hard you can't get back up."

Shiro didn't even care what his father said. "I'm going to hang up now, and then I am going to block your number. I hope someday that you realize how badly you fucked your own family up. Goodbye."

Shiro hung up the phone, and blocked his father's number. 

He'd never felt so free in his life. 

"I did it," he said, and Kosmo looked up at him. Shiro wiped his eyes, and patted Kosmo on the head. "It's going to be okay, buddy," he said. "I'm going to go find him now, and everything is going to be okay."

Shiro's phone rang again. He half expected it to be his father, calling from another phone. But it wasn't. It was Lance. 

* * *

 "Hey," Lance said, opening the door and stepping outside before Shiro could rush in. 

"Is he okay?" Shiro asked, as Lance obviously was blocking his way. 

"He's okay," Lance said. "He's actually asleep. He told Allura he was tired and apparently he wasn't kidding, because he passed out in like two seconds."

Shiro sighed. "My father said some things to him," Shiro told Lance. "I still don't know exactly what was said, but something about Keith not being good enough for me. And apparently my father snooped around knew about Keith's past."

Lance's mouth hung open. "What a dick," he said, and for some reason it made Shiro happy to hear. "Sorry, I know he's your dad and all, but-"

"No need to be sorry," Shiro said. "Right before you called me, I called him and told him I was done. I told him I never wanted to see or hear from him again.'

Lance gaped even more. "No kidding," he said, looking impressed. "It's about time you stood up for yourself, Shiro." Lance clapped his shoulder. "There's no need to keep people like that in your life."

"I know that, now," Shiro said with a tired grin. "I'm never making that mistake again. I just wish I would have realized it before he'd said those things to Keith."

Lance sighed. "Allura said he would barely talk to her," he said. "He just showed up on our doorstep and asked to hang out here."

"I'm glad he came here at least," Shiro replied. "It's better than him running off and wandering on the streets alone."

Lance nodded. "I'm glad he came here, too," he said with a smile. "I guess that means he's really starting to trust us."

Shiro smiled too. Lance opened the door. "You'll have to wake him up," Lance said, leading Shiro inside. "I'll go into the bedroom with Allura so you guys can talk. He's more than welcome to stay if he still wants to, but I'm hoping that he still wants to go home with you."

"You and me both," Shiro said, as they stopped in the living room. Keith was indeed fast asleep, curled into a ball on the couch. Lance patted Shiro's shoulder and disappeared into his bedroom, where Allura was waiting. She waved at Shiro before shutting the door to give him some privacy to talk to Keith. 

Shiro kneeled down next to the couch. He pushed Keith's hair back out of his face. He felt guilty, waking him, but Shiro didn't want to put off talking any longer. Keith groaned and opened his eyes. He blinked, squinting at Shiro as if he was unsure of what he was seeing. 

"Shiro?" Keith said groggily, sitting up. "What- what are you doing here?"

"Lance called me," Shiro said with a half grin. "He wanted to know what I had done to you."

Keith furrowed his eyebrows, probably still half asleep. "Did you just get here?"

Shiro nodded. "I talked with Lance for a moment outside." Shiro sighed. "I know about what happened between you and my father. What he said to you."

Keiths eyes widened. "He told you?"

"Sort of," Shiro replied. "I woke up at home and you weren't there, and Pidge and Hunk said you'd been gone for a while. And then my mom called and told me my father had spoken with you. So...I called him myself."

Keith frowned. "You didn't have to do that."

Shiro grinned. "I did, actually. I had to say a lot of things that I've been meaning to say to him my whole life." 

"What did you say?" Keith asked, looking worried. 

"Well...I told him he was wrong," Shiro said. "I told him he was wrong about you, and wrong about me. I told him I was done putting up with everything that he had put me through, and I told him that I wasn't going to see him or talk to him anymore."

Keith stared much like Lance had. "You said all that to him?"

"I did," Shiro said, with a shaky laugh. "I honestly, I wish I would have done it years ago. He's never once did a kind or supportive thing for me, and I still tried and tried and gave him so many chances. But what he said to you...that was crossing the line." Shiro sat next to Keith on the couch, reaching out to brush Keith's hair back. "I'm so sorry, Keith. I'm sorry that I ever let you be in the same room as him. I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault," Keith whispered. 

"It is," Shiro said, his hand falling away. "I may not have said the words, but I put you in that situation, and I knew what he was like. I was selfish, because I was afraid. And I'm so sorry."

"Shiro," Keith whispered. 

"And whatever he said about you not being good for me, it's not true," Shiro said firmly. "I've told you this many times. I know you're afraid, and I know it's hard for you to accept, but you are a good person, Keith. You are the best person I've ever known."

Keith's eyes watered. "You remember the nightmares, after that night in the alley?" he whispered. 

Shiro's breath caught in his throat, and he nodded. 

"I kept dreaming that you would get hurt, or get killed," Keith whispered. "You'd try to come save me, but then I wouldn't be able to save you."

Shiro thought of Keith, waking up in the middle of the night, hysterically crying, and it shattered his heart. 

He wanted to promise Keith that no one would ever hurt them ever again, but he knew that was something he couldn't promise. Keith had lost his father; he'd seen and lived through things that Shiro could only imagine. Telling him that nothing bad would ever happen would be an empty promise. 

"When I graduate," Shiro said, wiping away a stray tear on Keith's face, "we'll do exactly as we planned on the beach. We'll find some coastal city, or town, somewhere with a good school for you. You, and me, and Kosmo, we'll start somewhere new and fresh. Somewhere where my father won't follow me, where Zachery can't find you, and we'll be together. How does that sound?"

Keith sniffed. "It sounds perfect."

Shiro smiled and pulled Keith into his arms. "I don't care where my future is, as long as it's with you," Shiro told him. "We'll go somewhere where no one knows us, and we can both be free from the pasts that haunt us. And Lance and Allura and Pidge and Hunk will all make trips to come see us, and we'll get together for holidays and we'll FaceTime every day."

Keith chuckled through his tears. "I'd like that."

Shiro pulled away, wiping Keith's tears as he smiled. "We have a couple months to start looking," Shiro told him. "I graduate in May."

Keith just looked at him. "We can really do this?"

Shiro smiled. "Yes. I want to more than anything."

Keith smiled, too, and threw his arms around Shiro. Shiro held him tightly, and he the freedom he felt was overwhelming. He felt like he was finally in control of his own life. He didn't have to worry about being a disappointment anymore. He wasn't ever going to let go of Keith. They had their whole lives ahead of them, where they could do anything they want and be the people they were truly meant to be. 

He was more excited than ever to get to graduation. 


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a lot of talking, but it's talking that needs to happen, so :D 
> 
> I'm going to add another note at the end of this chapter, that will talk a little about the last couple chapters of the story. Please look it over <3

Keith pulled his car into the parking lot of the diner, feeling nervous. Rain was falling on his windshield. It had been raining a lot lately, though it had still been cold, and often the rain froze overnight, making everything covered in ice. But Keith had braved the weather anyway, with Shiro sitting beside him, because he had already made the plan to finally introduce his mother to Shiro that morning. 

"Are you freaking out?" Shiro asked, probably wondering why they had yet to get out of the car. 

"No," Keith said at once. "Okay, a little bit. I just...I just really want you guys to like each other."

Shiro chuckled. "I'm sure that we will. But we have to go inside if we are ever going to find out."

Keith sighed. "I suppose that's true." He grinned nervously at Shiro. It had been a week since they came home from California. They'd been busy, with classes starting back up, as well as their jobs. Keith really hadn't had much time to spend with Shiro, which had been hard, because he felt like he needed time with Shiro more than ever lately. Everything had just felt so fragile, and Keith was afraid that one more wrong thing would happen and he really would lose everything. 

He wasn't really afraid for Krolia and Shiro to meet one another. He knew that they would get along fine. What he was more afraid of was opening his life up to his mother even more, and perhaps opening more of who he was to Shiro, as well. 

Finally, Keith got the courage to open his car door. He and Shiro ran into the diner, trying not to get too soaked with cold rain. Krolia was waiting already in her usual booth, a cup of coffee in her hands. She waved at them, and Keith waved back. He took Shiro's hand, and Shiro smiled at him, his smile forever reassuring. Keith led the way to Krolia's booth. Krolia stood up when the reached her, looking a little nervous herself. 

"Welcome back," she said with a warm smile. 

"Um- Krolia, this is Shiro," Keith said awkwardly as Shiro offered her his hand. "Shiro, this is Krolia, my...my mother."

"I'm happy to meet you," Krolia said, smiling at Shiro. 

"As am I," Shiro replied kindly. Okay, so far so good. Keith slid into the booth and Shiro slid in next to him as Krolia sat across. 

 "So, how was your trip?" Krolia asked, looking between them. 

Shiro smiled awkwardly. Keith knew that he was still beating himself over everything that had happened with his father. "It was fine," Keith answered, entwining his fingers with Shiro's. "It was a lot warmer and sunnier there, though the water was really cold. We were able to sit on the beach every day and watch the sunset."

Shiro looked at him, relaxing a bit. "That sounds beautiful," Krolia said with a smile. "I can imagine it was a nice getaway, especially with how terrible it's been here lately."

"It was," Keith said. "I got you something!" he added, pulling a little keychain out of his pocket and giving it to her. "I got one for each of my friends, and so, I thought I would get you one as well. I know it's cheesy."

Krolia accepted the _Venice Beach, California_ keychain, looking like it was the best thing in the world. "Thank you," she said, smiling down at it. "I'm happy that you thought of me."

Keith grinned at her, feeling pleased. She seemed much more excited than Pidge had, at least, who had looked at him like he was crazy for giving her a keychain. 

"I'm curious," Krolia said, adding the keychain to her keys, "how did the two of you meet?"

Keith and Shiro looked at one another, both of them smiling in amusement. "You should tell her," Keith told Shiro, and Shiro went a little pink. 

"Well," Shiro said, looking back at Krolia, still blushing, "I work in the school library. I started at the beginning of the school year, and...well, I noticed Keith. He would always sit in the same spot every day, reading, or working on his school work. He was always so quiet, and he never had people with him. I don't know what it was, but I was sort of...drawn to him?"

Krolia watched him, a smile on her face and a sparkle in her eye. 

"One day, my friend told me I should just go up and talk to him," Shiro continued. "So...I did."

"He was very awkward," Keith added. "I wasn't sure what to make of him."

"I wasn't the only awkward one," Shiro said defensively. 

Krolia laughed. "That's honestly really sweet. It's like something out of a movie or something."

Keith felt embarrassed now, too. He looked at Shiro, who was still pink, and smiled. Shiro smiled too. It felt like so long ago, but at the same time, Keith remembered it like it was yesterday. And his heart still fluttered excitedly, like it had when they first started hanging out. 

"I'm glad that you two found one another," Krolia said, chin resting in her hand. "True love, the love that just draws you in...it can be hard to find. So make sure you hold on to it."

"I plan on it," Shiro said, and Keith would have kissed him right there if Krolia hadn't been watching. 

* * *

Lance sat on the end of Shiro's bed, pretending to study but not really studying. He kept pulling out his phone and scrolling through it, trying to hide behind his book like Shiro couldn't see. Shiro didn't scold him for it, though. He was quite distracted himself, sitting on his computer looking up different apartments and colleges throughout the Northeast coast. He had been writing an assignment for class, but he couldn't stay focused on it. All he could think about what his and Keith's plan to get away and start over. But Shiro was starting to get apprehensive. Cost of living in a lot of the places he'd looked so far was a lot higher than it was where they lived now. Keith didn't have much money, and Shiro didn't either, not without help from his parents- which of course was not even an option. 

"What are you frowning about?" Lance asked, apparently watching Shiro. "Is the paper that bad?"

Shiro sighed and closed his computer. "No, I wasn't even working on it."

"Oh good, me neither," Lance said, throwing his text book in relief. "I swear this semester is going too slow. I just want it to be over all ready."

Shiro grinned. "So you can start planning your wedding?"

Lance flopped over on the bed, looking at Shiro upside down. "It's crazy, right? I'm actually getting married. Allura's already super excited and has been looking things up. Its like, hello adulthood. Bam."

"Are you getting cold feet already?" Shiro asked with a frown. 

"No!" Lance said hurriedly, sitting up again. "I want to marry her. That hasn't changed. It's just...it's a bit scary, you know? I feel like the past four years have been all about hanging out and having fun."

"You'll still have fun," Shiro told him. "You just wont have to worry about homework anymore."

"You have a good point, Shiro my friend," Lance said with a grin. "And I can get a better job and have more money."

Shiro laughed. They fell silent for a moment. He understood where Lance was coming from. Changes, even good ones, were a bit scary. 

"Lance," Shiro said, a bit nervously. "After graduation...Keith and I are looking into moving away."

Lance's smile fell. "How far away?"

Shiro sighed. "I don't know yet. I guess just far enough away that we can have a fresh start, for the both of us. I was just researching different options."

Lance was quiet for a moment. "I'm not all that surprised," he said, fidgeting with Shiro's blanket. "I'd be lying if I said I wanted you to leave, because I don't. But at the same time, I understand. Allura and I have sort of talked about it as well, but we haven't really thought about it seriously."

Shiro smiled sadly. "I feel like we should have been more prepared," he said. 

Lance nodded. "I guess we were all just used to the way things were," he said. "We've all been together, going to school for so long. I never really thought about what happens after. Maybe a part of me just hoped that we could all be together like this forever."

"Hey, we'll still be friends!" Shiro assured him. 

"I know, I know," Lance said with a small grin. "But, we'll all start building our separate lives as well. It'll just be different, is all." Lance sighed. "Whatever you and Keith decide, you know I'll support you if it makes you happy. But know that I'll be coming to visit you, so have a guest room."

Shiro smiled and nodded. "Of course. And you better come visit. My life would be way too quiet without you."

Lance laughed and hugged him. Shiro hugged him back, and couldn't help but feel a little sad. Things were going to be changing, soon and fast. As exciting as it was to think of a new life, he would miss the old life, as well. 

* * *

Keith walked alongside Krolia, Kosmo trotting happily between them. The air was unseasonably warm today, and everyone was out to enjoy it. When Keith had asked Krolia if she'd like to take a walk with him and Kosmo following their weekly brunch, she'd happily agreed. He showed her around town and walked the edges of campus, enjoying the nice day of weather while it lasted. April was right around the corner, and Keith was waiting for the last final snowstorm of the season to hit them. 

"This is quite the charming little town," Krolia noted, a small smile on her face. "I'd actually never really been here, even though I grew up just a few miles away. I'd always figured there was really nothing here."

"There isn't, really," Keith said with a laugh. "But it's not so bad when you're a student, because the campus has a lot."

"I suppose it's good for the students," she agreed. "I don't know if I would like living here though."

Keith got quiet, watching Kosmo sniff at some leaves. "So...Shiro and I are planning on leaving. After he graduates."

"Oh," Krolia said, and she suddenly looked at little sad, though she tried to hide it with a smile. "Where are you going to go?"

Keith shrugged. "Anywhere but here.  This place...not really this town, but the area in general...it just holds a lot of bad memories. I feel like as long as I'm here, those memories will always come back to haunt me."

Krolia sighed. "I can understand that, trust me. We're a little alike, you and me." She smiled at him. "I know it's not much, but if you and Shiro ever wanted to come down my way, you'd be more than welcome. I could help you out until you're able to get on your own feet. It's not that far away from here, but it's a little change of scenery at least."

Keith stopped walking, staring at her. She stopped too, looking worried. "I mean, you don't have to. I know that we are still getting to know each other. I'm not trying to overstep or anything, I just- I just want to help you if I can. And...I guess I just don't want you to go too far away when...." She cleared her throat. "I'm sorry."

"No," Keith said, feeling strangely warm inside. "It's just...it's really nice of you to offer." He felt awkward, because he couldn't exactly put his feelings into words. He hadn't really expected Krolia to care if he was around or not. He wanted her to, but he was so used to expecting others-especially the adults in his life-to not care about what he did. The fact that she merely wanted to keep him around meant more to him than he could explain. 

"There's a good university," she said, a bit nervously. "The campus is really nice, and the town's a bit bigger. It's still pretty affordable too, and there are enough jobs around."

Keith smiled. It wasn't a seaside town hundreds of miles away, but perhaps it could be a start. And Keith did really want to try and continue to build his relationship with Krolia. He felt like getting to know her was also getting to know a small part of himself. 

"I'll talk to Shiro about it and see what he says," Keith said. 

Krolia looked surprised. "Really?"

Keith nodded. "It's not a bad idea. And then-and then you'd be close by, so...that would be nice."

Krolia blinked a couple times, and then broke out into a huge smile, and wrapped her arms around Keith. Keith was shocked for a moment. But then he relaxed, and realized how wonderful it felt. He's always wondered what a hug from his mother would feel like. It felt right, and safe. He hugged her back, tugging on Kosmo's leash a bit. Kosmo gave him a look, but Keith was too distracted by his mother's embrace to notice it. 

* * *

Keith walked straight into Shiro's room when he returned home after his walk with Krolia. He felt so excited, like he was ready to burst. He and Shiro really hadn't even had a real chance to talk about plans yet, with both of them being busy and their schedules never exactly working out. But Keith was full on so much possibility at that moment, and it was exhilarating. Keith had felt like his whole life had been out of his control. He hadn't been able to decide anything after his father had died. He wasn't able to decide where he went to school or where he lived. Even when he finally applied to college, he'd still had very limited choices- it wasn't as if he'd had the funds or a way to go anywhere outside of the county he already lived in. 

But everything was starting to feel so possible, now. Like he was finally, truly able to decide something for himself. Starting over somewhere new had felt like some far away dream, but now it was so close he could taste it. Perhaps he was being a little over dramatic about the whole thing, but he couldn't help it. Even if he was just an hour away, it was still something new, and it was stil something he'd been able to decide to do own his own. 

Hopefully, Shiro felt the same way. 

Keith knocked on Shiro's bedroom door. He heard him say "come in," and hesitated a moment. He braced himself for the fact that Shiro might hate the idea. As much as Keith didn't want Shiro to hate it, he would accept it if he did. Because Keith didn't want to do anything if Shiro wasn't there with him. 

Finally, he pushed open the door. Shiro was sitting cross-legged on his bed, his computer in his lap. He looked a bit stressed, but his face brightened when he saw Keith standing there. 

"How was your walk?" he asked, setting his laptop aside. 

"Good," Keith replied, as Kosmo ran in and jumped on Shiro's bed. "It was really good, actually."

Shiro looked at him, a questioning smile on his face. "Did something happen?"

Keith sat down, feeling simultaneously nervous and excited. "Yeah, kind of," he said. "I told my...I told Krolia about our plans to move after the semester is over."

"And what did she say?" Shiro asked.

Keith took another calming breath. "Well, she understands, of course. And she...she started telling me about the town where she lives. Apparently there's a school there as well, and...and it's a bit bigger than here, so there's a little more to do and more places to work, but it's not quite as expensive as some of the bigger cities. It's not far from Pittsburgh either, so...there's that."

He was being totally awkward and he knew it. Shiro gave him an almost knowing, amused smile. "And what do you think about that?"

Keith tapped his foot nervously. "I think it sounds kind of nice. I mean it isn't too far, but it's somewhere new. She offered, to help us out, if we wanted to move over that way, you know, like...give us a place to stay while we found something. Which is a little weird, I know, since we don't know each other all that well-" He was rambling, now, but he couldn't stop. "But at the same time, I kind of like how things have been going, and I like getting to know her, and if we were to move far away, that would make it hard. Obviously." He laughed at himself. "I'm sorry. I know I sound stupid, but I'm nervous."

"You want to move there, where your mother is?" Shiro guessed. 

Keith grinned uncertainly and nodded. "I know it's not exactly what we wanted," he said. "But, I mean maybe it could be a start, for now? I understand if you don't want to but...." He tried to read Shiro's amused face. "What do you think?"

Shiro smiled at him. "Honestly, I'm a bit relieved. I've been try to look up places where we can move to, and its actually really expensive in a lot of places." Shiro chuckled. "And more than anything, I just want to be with you, somewhere-anywhere-where we can just be ourselves and be happy. I know that getting to know Krolia has been important to you, and I wouldn't want to take that away. And I'm actually quite fond of Pennsylvania. I wouldn't mind sticking around. Plus Lance and the others won't be that far, and that makes me happy, too."

Keith tried to get his brain to understand what Shiro's words meant without getting his hopes up too high. "So...that means you're okay with it?"

Shiro laughed, so warm and loving it was like a hug in and of itself. "Yes, I'm okay with it," he said. "I think it's a good idea. A much better one than going somewhere random and far away. We can save that for when we're a little older and wiser."

Keith tackled Shiro, hugging him tightly. "Thank you, Shiro."

Shiro chuckled, hugging him back. "I'll follow you anywhere. You are my home, now."

Keith felt so happy that tears were filling his eyes-but they weren't tears of fear, or anger, or sadness. He was just so happy, and everything just felt so right. Nothing in his life had ever felt right before. But there, in that moment with Shiro, everything felt perfect. 

"I'm going to text Krolia and let her know," Keith said, finally pulling out of Shiro's arms, unable to keep the smile off of his face. "And I'm going to look into the school and see if I have time to apply for the fall semester. It should still be early enough."

Shiro was smiling, too. "I'm so proud of you, Keith. I love you so much."

He reached out and put his hand on Keith's face, and Keith put his hand over Shiro's. "I love you, Shiro," he whispered. "I don't know what I would ever do without you."

Shiro leaned in and kissed him, taking Keith's breath away. There were many moments with Shiro that made Keith believe he was the happiest he'd ever been, and this was another one of those moments. His heart was no longer his own; he had given it away, as hard as it had been for him, and in return, had gotten Shiro's heart. Love was a scary thing, but it was beautiful, and Keith couldn't even imagine his life any other way anymore. His life was there, with Shiro. It was everything he had ever hoped for, and more. 

Finally they broke apart, Shiro resting his forehead on Keith's. "I guess we'll have to have a talk with Hunk and Pidge."

"Yeah," Keith said with a sad smile. "I hope they'll be okay."

"They will be," Shiro assured him. "I've known them a long time. They'll understand, because they are our friends, and they want us to be happy."

Keith wiped his eyes and nodded. "We have one more month to get through."

Shiro smiled. "One more month. It's going to fly by."

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, friends. I hope you enjoyed the chapter <3 I just want to mention something now, and I will again at the next chapter, just to be safe. 
> 
> The last remaining chapters, starting with the end of the next, will be very heavy. Like, the kind of heavy where you might not like me anymore ^^; I'll be adding some additional tags/warning when I publish the next chapter. If you aren't worried about any sort of triggers or are okay with whatever may happen, you can chose to ignore them if you want. I don't want to spoil things, but I also don't want to set someone off without warning. 
> 
> A lot of this story was based off my own personal experiences. Not exactly, of course. But I knew exactly how this story would end when I started writing it, because it was something similar that happened to me during this time in my life. 
> 
> I'll add more warnings and info in the next chapter, but I guess I'm just trying to say that if you want to stop here, with this happy ending, that's okay. I really hope that you enjoyed this story up until now, and I'd love to hear what you have thought of it. 
> 
> <3


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And I built a home  
> For you, for me  
> Until it disappeared  
> From me, from you  
> And now it's time to leave  
> and turn to dust
> 
> To Build a Home, The Cinematic Orchestra

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *IMPORTANT NOTE* 
> 
> Hopefully you guys saw my previous note at the end of last chapter, but if not, I’m here to restate. 
> 
> The story from this chapter on is going to be very heavy, and sad. I can understand how a sad ending can be upsetting, so if you are not okay with a whole lot of sadness coming your way, please do not read this chapter or the following. 
> 
> I’m going to update the tags for this story as soon as this chapter is posted. 
> 
> If you choose to stick with it, prepare your feels my friends <\3

It's crazy how time can both go fast and slow at the same time. 

The month of April came. As Keith had predicted, one fine snowstorm blew through the town, dumping snow on them right after Pidge's birthday. It wasn't around for too long, though. As the days went by, the weather warmed, melting the snow away as spring finally came. 

With Spring came the excitement. It was like everyone was realizing how close they were until the end of the semester. Everyone was running on a mixture of nerves and excitement. Krolia had been ecstatic to learn that Keith and Shiro had decided to go ahead and move to her town after all. Keith had applied to the local university there, and although he was still waiting to hear back, he was excited. Despite the struggles he'd had throughout the semester following his head injury, he'd been pulling off some pretty good grades, and he had aced everything his first semester. Krolia was sure that he'd get in with no problem, but Keith was still a bit nervous about it. 

Every time she came for her weekly brunch, Krolia would talk excitedly. She would tell him about different places that were hiring. She'd tell them about places he could take Kosmo on walks at. She'd tell him how she was fixing up the spare bedroom in her house so it would be perfect for him and Shiro when they arrived. Keith couldn't help but to be excited with her. It was becoming easier and easier to talk with her. He'd even finally opened up one day and told her everything. He told her about finding out his father was dead, the foster home, the group homes, juvie, the things he'd done, Zachery- he told her all of it. There had been a lot of tears, from both of them, but in the end, she had held him and apologized over and over for not being there, and Keith had forgiven her. 

Pidge and Hunk had taken the news that Shiro and Keith were moving out okay. It had been a little sad, and Keith had even felt a little guilty, not just because they were leaving, because he felt like he was taking Shiro from them. Shiro had been with Pidge and Hunk much longer than Keith had even known him. But he had to remind himself that it wasn't just his decision, but Shiro's as well. Pidge then admitted that she'd applied for a job in Philadelphia, and had even already interviewed with them, so if she were to get it, she'd be leaving as well. Afterwards, Hunk admitted he wanted to move back closer to his family, since he was nearly three hours away and he had missed seeing them more often.

They had all been planning on going there separate ways.

"I guess it was bound it happen," Hunk sighed as they sat in the living room together, the air hung with sadness. "But I mean...living here the past few years has been some of the best years of my life. I knew it couldn't go on forever, but I'm happy for the time we did have here together."

"We made a lot of memories here," Pidge agreed with a small smile. "I'm going to miss it, too."

"I think we all are," Shiro added.

Keith felt like someone was squeezing his heart. "I know I haven't been here as long," he said, "but the time I've spent here with you has definitely been the best time of my life. And I just want to say thank you for letting me be a part of it."

"Ohhhhh come here," Hunk wailed, opening his arms wide and pulling them all into a hug. Keith couldn't help the tears, but he wasn't the only one who had them. They stayed there like that for a couple minutes, awkwardly squished together, as Kosmo watched them with a confused look on his face. Keith would forever be grateful for this house and the people in it. He had gone from being someone who was afraid and alone, to having a family that was better than he ever could have wished for. Each and every one of them had helped Keith make the person who he was now, and he would never forget that. 

"You can probably let go now, Hunk," Pidge whispered, but he replied, "just a little bit longer," and Pidge replied "I mean we're not leaving today-" which had caused both Shiro and Keith to laugh, and they all broke apart, laughing and wiping their tears away. 

Finals were the last week of April, and Graduation was the first two days of May. They agreed that they would all be out of the house a week after Graduation. 

* * *

 It was weird, seeing the house they had lived in for so long slowly start to empty out. 

Packing was a bit hard, between classes and work. Shiro had resigned from his volunteer position, since he and Keith would be leaving soon anyway, and he really needed to focus on his last couple classes in order to make sure he really did graduate. Iverson had been sad to see Shiro go, but offered to be a reference if he ever needed one, and at least Shiro had been able to get some experience. Things were picking up at the library as everyone was putting in last minute study sessions and hurriedly trying to finish term papers and research projects they'd been putting off all semester. Keith would still come to the library when Shiro was working as long as he wasn't in class, and sometimes he'd bring Shiro coffee or a snack. Shiro found he didn't mind the stress of the library during finals as long as Keith was there.

Shiro's last day working at the library was right before finals week. Romelle had been terribly sad, which was a bit weird for Shiro since she had always been so upbeat and snarky around him. "You're my favorite person to work with," she said, dabbing at her eyes. "Who else am I going to make fun of for acting like a lovestruck fool?"

Shiro burst out laughing, his boss, Mrs. Ruth, giving him a dirty look. "Sorry," he whispered to her, and turned back to Romelle. "I'm sure that you'll find someone."

"No one as good as you," she said with a tearful smile, and she hugged him tightly. He hugged her back, feeling that familiar pang of sadness in his heart he felt a lot these days, realizing that his life at the college was really coming to an end. 

"I promise I'll keep in touch," he told her when they pulled apart. 

"You better," she said sternly. "And when you and Keith finally get married, I better be the first one with an invitation, since I was the one who convinced you to go talk to him."

Shiro chuckled. "I promise you will be," he said, and she grinned. "And...thank you, Romelle. You've been a really good friend."

"Stop," she said, wiping her eyes again. "I want to stop crying, for god's sake. But you're welcome. Not that you really need to thank me, because I enjoyed every minute of it."

Shiro smiled and looked around the library. "It feels weird to think I'm not coming back here. This library has become strangely important to me. I feel like if I'd never gotten this job...my life would be so different right now."

"It would be," Romelle agreed. "It's funny the way life works like that. I guess you were just meant to have this job."

Shiro grinned. "Like it was fate."

She laughed. "All right, don't start getting all philosophical on me. Go ahead, get going. I know you have a lot of things you need to be going."

Shiro nodded. "Good luck, Romelle."

She smiled. "You too, Takashi."

Shiro grabbed his things and walked out of the library, though he stopped momentarily at Keith's favorite table and smiled before heading out. 

* * *

"I'm not ready for these stupid finals," Lance said dramatically as he sat between Shiro and Allura on the floor of the living room, all together for one last study session. "Why can't they just hand me my diploma now? Haven't I taken enough tests already?"

"If you had, you'd already have your diploma, Lance," Allura told him, and he scowled at her.

"Come on, just think!" Hunk said excitedly. "Once you take these tests you'll never have to take any more!"

Lance sighed exasperatedly. "I mean, that helps, but I still don't want to take them."

"I need more coffee," Pidge grumbled.

"Me too," Shiro said, standing up. Keith stood up as well, making Kosmo jump up excitedly.

"Can you get me some?" Keith asked Shiro. "I'm going to take Kosmo out."

"Of course," Shiro said with a smile, disappearing into the kitchen. Keith grabbed Kosmo's leash and took him out the front door. It was dark out, but pleasant. It had been very sunny lately, finally drying out the ground a bit after being covered in snow for so long. Keith was relieved, because Kosmo had been getting ridiculously muddy every time he went outside. One thing he was excited about moving was that Krolia had a fenced in yard, which meant Kosmo would be able to run around without Keith having to worry about him so much.

Keith was nervous about leaving, as excited as he had been. Tomorrow was his last shift at the diner. His room was already half packed, and he didn't have that much to pack anyway. This study session would probably be one of the last time his friends were all together like this. He felt like he had taken advantage of all the nights they had hung out together now that they were coming to an end. It had taken him so long to really let his guard down and allow himself to to open up to them all. He felt like he'd barely begun to appreciate what it meant to have a group of friends, a found family, like he had, and already they were splitting up. He knew it was all for the best reasons. Pidge had gotten the job in Philadelphia. Hunk missed his family. Lance and Allura were getting married. And Keith and Shiro were going to start building their own life together. 

It was just hard to let go of what they had here, in this little house, in this little town that everyone hated, but secretly loved. 

Shiro came out and stepped on to the porch. He sat down next to Keith. "Everything okay? You've been out here a while."

Keith smiled at him and nodded. Shiro offered Keith his hand, and Keith took it in his. "I was just thinking," he said, his eyes on Kosmo but his thoughts far away. 

"About what?" Shiro asked. 

"Everything, and everyone," Keith said. "I've been so excited for next week to come, and for all the possibilities ahead. But I guess I'm just a little sad now that it's here."

Shiro looked down at their clasped hands. "It's hard to say goodbye," he agreed. 

"I've never really had to, before," Keith sighed. "I mean, I guess there was my dad, but...I never really got to say goodbye to him, or my house or anything, because they were just...gone." Keith cleared his throat. "And I never...I never had anyone else. I never cared about anything else. Not until I met you."

Shiro was quiet, and the only sound was Kosmo sniffing around the yard for a couple minutes. "It's not goodbye forever, though," Shiro said at last. "We can always come back to visit. I know it won't be the same, but the memories we have, and the bond we have with everyone, those will last forever. Things change, but your heart will remember. And these guys...trust me, we aren't getting rid of them anytime soon."

Keith looked at him, and Shiro looked back, smiling and pulling Keith into his arms. "Change is just a part of life," Shiro whispered. "But I know that this change will be good for us. And I'm looking forward to what lies ahead for us. It might be hard, and we don't know what will happen. But we'll still be together. And Krolia will be there, too. Its a new beginning. It's our new beginning."

Keith felt his anxiety and sadness melt away. Shiro's hugs had that effect on him. In a way, he was somewhat grateful that he felt this pain in saying goodbye to his friends. Because for the first time in his life, he had people that meant something to him. He had someone to say goodbye to. He had people who cared about him, and he cared about in return. And that's all he had ever really wanted.

"Thanks, Shiro," Keith said softly.

Shiro kissed the top of his head. "Anytime." He smiled. "You want to go back inside and get this studying over with?"

Keith smiled and nodded. They headed back inside, Kosmo excitedly running between them. Keith settled back down on the floor between Shiro and Pidge. Pidge looked at him, and he smiled sadly at her. She seemed to now what he had been feeling without him having to say anything. She put her arms around his middle and hugged him tightly. 

Their studying lasted for about thirty more minutes, until they all gave up. Lance pulled out his phone and then started snapping photos of them all, which at first was a bit annoying, but soon everyone was having fun with it. Keith let himself get pulled into selfies, and even pulled out his own phone and started taking photos himself. He had told Shiro, after all, that photos were important. He wanted to remember these nights that he sat there with his friends. He never wanted to forget the family he had unexpectedly fallen into. 

* * *

 Shiro woke up the next morning, remembering almost immediately the day had finally come: it was the first day of finals. He groaned tiredly, wishing he could sleep more but knowing that he couldn't. He had three of his finals today, somehow. Finals ran over four days, and three of the four of his classes had finals the first day. At least he would be able to get the majority of it out of the way quickly, but it also meant a long day of testing for him. 

"I'm too tired to take any tests," Keith grumbled from beside him, his head on Shiro's chest. 

"Me too," Shiro yawned. "Maybe I can pay someone to take them for me."

"If only," Keith replied, and grudgingly sat up. "At least you're almost there. You're almost a college graduate!"

"Almost," Shiro said, sitting up as well with a lopsided grin. "I could fail everything."

"Shut up," Keith said, rolling his yes. "You're going to do fine." He got out of bed. "I'm going to go make some coffee if Pidge hasn't started it yet, and take Kosmo out."

"Okay," Shiro said, yawning again. 

"Come on, Kosmo," Keith said, making Kosmo get out of bed. Shiro couldn't help but smile as he watched them. Even first thing in the morning, his hair a mess and half awake, Keith was beautiful. 

Shiro got into the shower, the water helping to wake him up. When he finally got out into the kitchen, coffee was made and Keith and Pidge were both standing next to the coffee pot, downing their coffee. 

"When's your first test?" Pidge asked Shiro. 

"Eight o'clock," Shiro sighed. "And then eleven, and then two."

"Good thing I made us all some nutritious snacks for the day," Hunk said brightly, appearing behind Shiro and handing him tupperware. "Don't forget to eat and drink lots of water."

"And coffee," Pidge added. 

"And coffee," Hunk agreed. 

"Thanks Hunk," Shiro said with a grin. "I was wondering how I'd fit in time to eat anything."

"I won't let you take finals on a empty stomach," Hunk said, crossing his arms. "Make sure you eat something before you leave."

Pidge rolled her eyes. "I'm going to go fit in last minute cramming," she said. "Good luck guys."

"You too," they replied, as Pidge refilled her coffee cup and shut herself back in her room. "I'm going to take a shower," Hunk said. "East something, you two," he added sternly, before leaving Keith and Shiro alone in the kitchen. 

"Cereal?" Keith offered, shaking the box, and Shiro laughed and nodded. "So I have a final until four," Keith said as he poured a bowl for each of them. "And then I have to be at the diner at five."

"I thought you didn't go in until seven?" Shiro asked. 

"Yeah, I agreed to come in a couple hours early," Keith said. "I figured since it's my last night and all, a little extra money wouldn't hurt."

Shiro sighed. "You're gonna be tired tomorrow."

Keith shrugged. "I'll be fine. I won't really get to see you, though."

Shiro pulled Keith into him, surprising Keith and making him laugh. "I guess we'll need a good luck kiss, then, so we both do well on our finals today."

"I guess so," Keith said, and he kissed Shiro, quick and easy. Like a lifelong habit. "You'll have to text me and let me know how it goes."

"I will," Shiro said, taking a bite of his cereal. They ate in silence, Kosmo staring at them, waiting for a piece of cereal to drop. By the time he was done eating, Shiro had to get going so he wasn't late. 

"Well if I don't see you, have a good day and night at work," Shiro said, giving Keith another quick kiss. "And text me when you can."

"I will," Keith replied, his smile bright. "Good luck, Shiro. I love you."

Shiro smiled, feeling like he could pass any test that was thrown in front of him. "I love you too."

And Shiro walked out of the kitchen. He looked back one last time, as Keith rinsed out their bowls, Kosmo still at his feet. It was such a normal day, aside from the exams looming in their future. Shiro never had any sort of feeling that things would be so different the next day. If he had, maybe he would have went back and hugged Keith one more time. Maybe he would have told Keith how much he really loved him, and how much it meant to him. But he didn't, because it was just a normal day, and he had to get to his test before he was late.

So he left. 

* * *

 Keith had two tests that day; one in the morning and one in the afternoon. The first exam went okay. It was a history class, and he'd pounded the information into his head the best that he could. There were a couple questions he struggled with, but overall he was pretty sure it went okay. After the first test, he met up with Lance and Allura for coffee, since they both had some time before their next exam as well. Lance went on and on about questions he was freaking out over on the test he took that morning, while Allura patted his arm soothingly. Keith ate the whole snack box that Hunk had packed for him, and was actually feeling quite confident by the time his second exam came around. His second exam was for Psychology, and he struggled a bit more than he did with his history test, but overall he at least believed that he had passed it. 

After the last exam, he sat in his car for a few minutes, wondering if he had time to fit in a power nap before work. His shift lasted until one a.m. Shiro was right; he was going to be tired tomorrow. In the end he decided against a nap, worrying he wouldn't be able to wake up in time. He just drove straight to the diner, switching into his work shirt with a sigh. He spotted Veronica sitting in her car as well, the door open, books on her lap. He waved at her, and she waved back. 

"Last minute studying?" he asked her, leaning against his car. 

"You know it," she said. "You're going in at five too?" she asked, and Keith nodded. "We were stupid to take these shifts." She laughed. 

"A little, yeah," he agreed. "But I'm glad I get to work with you my last night here."

She frowned. "I forgot tonight was your last night. Now I'm sad."

He smiled at her. "You don't have to be sad."

"I'm going to have to be stuck here with these other idiots," she said, rolling her eyes. "I can be sad if I want."

He laughed. "I'm going to miss you too. But I'm sure I'll be seeing you a lot, especially with the wedding and all."

"That's true," she said with a grin. "It's gonna be a crazy wedding, I can feel it. Hopefully Allura doesn't regret marrying into my family."

"Well she's put up with Lance all this time," Keith laughed. 

They talked about the wedding and what crazy things might happen until it was time to clock in. The diner was busy at first, people choosing to eat out for dinner rather than try and cook at home. But as the hours went on, things quieted down. Keith put in his headphones as he worked, going over his lectures. Shiro had texted him earlier and said that his tests went pretty well. Keith was glad. Shiro had worked hard to make it this far. Keith had to make sure that he did well, too. He recited his teacher's words over and over in his head as he cleaned down tables and dishes, lost in his own little world. 

It was nearly eleven p.m. when Keith started gathering the trash to take out. The parking lot was quiet and empty as he dragged the trash out to the dumpster behind the building. He took a moment to pull out his phone and text Shiro goodnight, since he had a feeling Shiro would be fast asleep by the time he finally got home. He threw the trash bags into the dumpster, smiling to himself, thinking about Shiro probably already passed out at home. He turned back to head back into the building. 

But someone was blocking his way. 

Keith froze, his breath catching in his throat. Zachery was standing in front of him. He was half covered in shadow from the streetlights, but Keith could tell it was him. Zachery stepped forward, the light hitting his face. He looked _bad_. Keith could only assume that he was high on some kind of drug, or mixture of drugs. His whole body was trembling, even his hand, which held a gun that was pointed directly at him. 

Everything slowed to a stop. Keith could hear the sound of his own heart beat. He knew exactly what kind of position he was in. If he tried to run, and yell, Zachery would sure just pull the trigger and shoot him. He was standing far away enough that Keith couldn't even try to take the gun away from him. The best he could do was try to talk to him, maybe stall him out long enough that Keith could somehow get out of this unscathed. 

"Zachery," Keith said carefully, not moving a centimeter. "What...what are you doing?"

"W-what does it look like I'm doing?" Zachery hissed. "What I've been meaning to do for years."

Keith's heart was beating so loud. "Are you sure you've thought about that?"

Zachery laughed, and it was a terrifying, crazed sound. "Thought about it? It's all I've thought about. I would have killed you in that damn alley if someone hadn't shown up. I've been watching. I've been waiting, just waiting. I almost did it a few weeks ago. But then you had some fucking woman with you."

Krolia. The day the car had tore out of the parking lot. "I decided to wait and come back. But then I got fucking arrested and they threw me in jail. But I got out, yesterday. They let me out." He laughed again. "They let me out and I knew exactly what I had to do."

Keith was afraid. How long had he been outside? Had his coworkers noticed he was taking a long time to throw the trash?

"If you shoot me," Keith said, trying to keep his voice calm, "that's a felony, Zachery. That's real time. That's prison."

"Not if they don't catch me," Zachery said in a scary grin. "And even if they do, fuck it. I don't care. It's not like I have anything to fucking lose. At least you'll finally be dead."

In some part of Keith's heart, he felt a little sad for Zachery. Because he understood, what it felt like to be angry. He understood what it felt like to have nothing to lose. He had been the same way, once upon a time. That's how he had met Zachery in the first place- smashing his fist into Zachery's face, wanting to inflict pain upon him. 

Keith didn't know what else he could say. He knew nothing anybody could have said to him when he was in that state would have made a difference. All that he could do was hope a pray that maybe, someone had seen what was happening, or heard it, and that the police were coming, someone was coming-

Shiro, Shiro, _Shiro_. At home, in bed, unaware, sleeping peacefully. He loved Shiro so much. Had he told Shiro he loved him today? Keith couldn’t remember. He was afraid. He just wanted to tell Shiro one last time- 

Zachery pulled the trigger. 

* * *

 

Veronica had never heard gunshots in her life. She'd never been around a gun, and had never really cared to be. But as she stood there in the diner, making yet another pot of coffee, she heard gunshots. She didn't know how she knew that's what they were, but she did. They were loud, and close. Perhaps if it had been a busier time of day, when the diner was more full of chattering people, it wouldn't have seemed so loud. But she heard it clear as day, as did her coworkers and the couple of people sitting in the restaurant. 

"What the fuck?" one of the cooks said. 

Veronica's heart seized with fear. 

She remembered Keith had gone outside to take the trash. Had he come in yet?

Suddenly she was running, through the kitchen and to the back door. The container they piled the trash in had not been returned. Her stomach turned. 

"Someone call the police," the cook said, opening the door that led outside. That's when Veronica saw him. Keith was laying on the pavement, unmoving. "Wait!" the cook said, trying to grab her as she ran past him without thinking. "We don't- goddammit-"

Veronica ran, stopping short several feet from where Keith was laying. It was dark, but she could see the blood. Oh god, his chest was _covered_ with it-

She couldn't move. She couldn't breathe. She didn't understand what she was supposed to do. The cook finally ran out after her, assuming whoever had the gun hadn't waited around. He stopped next to Veronica, his mouth falling open in shock. He took a few steps forward and knelt down next to Keith, checking his pulse. 

Keith turned his head and looked at her. Veronica felt relief for just a second. It was a second long enough to step forward and kneel down by Keith's head. 

"Keith," she whispered. 

Keith just looked at her, blinking slowly. Veronica could only look at his face, everything around her melting away, as if it was just the two of them in the middle of no where. There was a look in Keith's eyes that told her he knew exactly what had happened, and what was about to happen. He opened his mouth, as if to say something, but he couldn't. 

And then he closed his eyes, and she knew he was gone. 

 


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Both of them knew —  in a way, it was never out of their minds —  that what was now happening could not last long. There were times when the fact of impending death seemed as palpable as the bed they lay on, and they would cling together with a sort of despairing sensuality, like a damned soul grasping at his last morsel of pleasure when the clock is within five minutes of striking. But there were also times when they had the illusion not only of safety but of permanence. So long as they were actually in this room, they both felt, no harm could come to them. Getting there was difficult and dangerous, but the room itself was sanctuary." George Orwell, 1984

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry these chapters were posted so quick together I just felt like I needed to <3

Lance was awoken by his phone ringing. 

He groaned, rolling over onto his back. He reached around for his phone without actually looking for it, Allura pulling the blanket over her head. He had no idea what time it was or why someone was calling him, but he was tired and wanted to go back to sleep. Finally he found his phone, and saw it was Veronica's number. 

He felt a bit nervous. It was just after midnight. Why would she be calling him this late? Maybe her car broke down? "Hello?" he said, finally answering it. 

She didn't answer at first, but he could hear her. It sounded like she was crying. It made Lance's heart beat faster, and he sat up. "Veronica? Are you okay?"

"Lance," she finally said, her voice somewhere between a whisper and a sob. 

Lance's mind was working on overdrive. Had something happened to someone in the family? Had someone tried to hurt her? "Veronica what happened?" he demanded. "Are you okay?"

Again, she didn't answer right away. Every second she didn't answer felt like an hour. Allura was awake now, turning on the lamp and frowning in concern. 

"It's Keith," she finally answered. 

Now Lance was confused. Why would Veronica be calling him about Keith? Then he remembered that they worked together. That only led Lance to more questions. Had Keith gotten hurt? Had he had some kind of freak out at work again and ran out?

"What about Keith?" Lance asked her, and he could hear her take a shaky breath, as if she was crying harder. Veronica had never been a crier before. She had always been the kind of girl to get angry before she cried a tear. Lance could only imagine something really bad must have happened, and it frightened him. 

"He's dead," she said at last. 

Lance blinked. The words didn't make sense to him. "What?"

She didn't answer. 

"No he's not," Lance said, his brain unable to comprehend or accept what she had said. "I saw...I saw him earlier today."

"Lance," Veronica whispered. "He's...I was h-here. Oh god."

Allura was still staring at him. Lance swallowed hard, his heart still pounding. He still couldn't accept it. "What- how?"

"I don't...I heard the g-gun," Veronica said through her tears. "And then...and he was outside...and I saw the blood and...."

Lance felt sick. His hands were shaking. "Are you...you're sure?" Was she trying to tell him someone had shot Keith?

"Y-yes," she said. "There's police, a-and people, and I...I don't know what to do."

Lance finally looked at Allura. She could tell something bad had happened; she was sitting very still and looked terribly afraid. Lance tried to get his brain to work. Veronica was upset. Keith had been shot. She said he was dead. Keith, who he had just seen hours before. Keith, the one Shiro was head over heels for. Oh god, _Shiro_. 

"You're still at the diner?" Lance asked his sister. 

"Y-yes," she answered. 

"Okay," he said, trying to push down his shock and handle things. "Does...does Shiro know?"

Veronica sniffled. "I don't know, I think the cops are going to go over there."

Lance wasn't sure what he was supposed to do. His brain was still struggling to understand what was happening and how he was supposed to handle it. He couldn't even think of what he was supposed to be feeling. His sister needed help, and once Shiro found out that Keith-he didn't even want to think about it. 

"Just, stay there," Lance said, getting out of bed. "Allura and I will come get you."

"Okay," Veronica said quietly. Lance didn't even want to hang up the phone. He felt extremely disconnected. 

"We'll be right there," he assured her. 

"Okay," she said again, and the line went quiet before he could say anything else. 

Lance just stood there and stared at his phone. He needed to move. He needed to hurry. Veronica needed him, and Shiro would need him, as well. But he felt frozen. He was afraid to move or even speak. He just wanted to go back to bed and find out this whole thing had been some kind of very vivid dream. Allura came up from behind him and placed her hand on his shoulder. He flinched away from her touch. 

"Lance, what happened?" she asked, afraid. 

Lance stared at her. "Veronica...she...." His eyes were watering. "She's said that Keith is dead."

The words hit him when he said them out loud. Allura's eyes widened and she took a step away from him, her hand coming to her mouth. 

"What? What do you mean?" she asked him, looking almost angry, like he was trying to play some kind of cruel joke. "He...he can't....?"

Lance thought of Keith, his awkward little smile, they way he looked at Shiro like he was the whole world. Keith, who Lance had asked to be a part of his wedding. Keith, who had taken silly selfies with them the night before. He had seen Keith just this morning, and Lance had complained about his exams and everything had been fine, Keith had been fine-

"Veronica, we-we have to go, and-we have to get her," Lance said, and Allura was still staring at him. "We have to go right now."

"Okay," Allura said, her voice shaking a bit. "Come on, let's go."

Lance was in his pyjamas, as was Allura, but did that even matter? Allura seemed a bit more collected than he was, and he allowed her to steer him out of their room. He put his shoes on and grabbed his keys, which Allura took from him. They didn't even say anything to one another. Lance couldn't find any words to say. Part of him was holding on to hope that they would pull up to the diner and that there would be some kind of misunderstanding. Keith would be fine, and Veronica was just confused, and everything would be fine, and the way things were supposed to be. 

Lance's fears only became worse when the diner came into view. There were flashing lights, and tons of people, tons of vehicles. There were police and an ambulance and news stations, and even though it was after midnight there were people standing around, huddled together. Allura pulled the car as close as she could and Lance got out, running. 

Veronica was waiting for him outside. A police officer was talking to her, but when she saw Lance coming towards her, she stepped around him and ran, meeting him in the parking lot. She threw her arms around him and started sobbing, and there, in that moment, Lance realized that it had to be true. 

* * *

Someone was knocking on the door.

Shiro woke up, startled. It took him a moment to register what had woken him. It was dark outside. He found his phone next to him, and saw that it was nearly one in the morning. He also had a text message from Keith, telling him goodnight.

The knocking continued. Shiro was confused. Had Keith forgotten his house key? He got up out of bed, Kosmo jumping up with him. Shiro opened his bedroom door just as Hunk was opening the front door. Shiro could see Pidge peeking out of her room.

"Um, hello," Hunk said, sounding a bit nervous. Shiro walked across the living room to join Hunk at the door, wondering who it could possibly be waking them up in the middle of the night.

It was the police. Shiro's heart hammered uncomfortably.

"Hello," one of two officers replied. They looked uncomfortable. "Sorry to wake you at such a late hour. Is this the residence of Keith Kogane?"

Shiro felt a sinking feeling in his stomach. Hunk turned to look at him, looking nervous. He stepped out of the way so Shiro could step forward.

"Yes," he answered the officer.

The officer looked at him. "Are you his friends, roommates?"

"Yes," Shiro answered again. "I mean- I'm his boyfriend."

"Do you mind if we come in?" the officer asked.

Shiro was getting more and more frightened by the second. He gripped the doorframe. "Sure," he said, moving out of the way. The officers stepped into the house. Shiro didn't move, and neither did Hunk. Pidge had come out of her room, and she was holding onto Kosmo to keep him from jumping on them. They were afraid, too. Shiro could sense it. 

"Again, I'm sorry to have woken you, I know it's late," the officer started a bit awkwardly. 

"What happened to Keith?" Shiro asked, wrapping his arms around himself. He knew it had to be something bad. The police wouldn't just show up at their door at one o'clock in the morning. He could tell that they didn't want to tell him, either. They kept looking at each other and at Shiro with these sad, pitying looks. Shiro could only think of horrible thing after horrible thing that they might be preparing to tell him. He felt like his heart was going to explode if they didn't just spit the words out. 

"There was an incident at Sara's Diner," one of the officers finally said. "I understand Keith works there?"

Shiro just nodded, afraid to open his mouth. He wasn't sure if he would scream or throw up. 

"We responded to reports of a shooting at Sara's Diner shortly after eleven o'clock tonight," one of the officers said, and Shiro felt his throat close up. "Keith...he was shot several times. I'm sorry, but...by the time we got there he was already gone."

Shiro couldn't breathe. Pidge made some sort of muffled cry. His legs didn't want to hold him up. He grabbed the wall, staring at them. They couldn't be saying what he thought they were. There was no way. It wasn't possible. 

"What are you saying?" Shiro asked them, his eyes welling up with tears. "Are you...are you telling me he's-?"

"I'm...I'm truly sorry," the officer said sadly. "He died on the scene."

 _Died_. Keith died. Already gone. 

Shiro's whole body was shaking. He probably would have fallen if Hunk hadn't come forward and steadied him. "He- he can't," Shiro said, not even looking at the officers or Hunk or Pidge or anything. He couldn't even see what was around him. "He can't," he said again, and he was vaguely aware of Hunk hugging him, but he couldn't even hug him back. "He...he just....he can't be."

"I'm so sorry," the officer said again, and Shiro didn't want to hear it. He didn't care if they were sorry. Sorry didn't help him. What he needed hear was Keith. What he needed to hear was them telling him they were wrong. What he needed was to breathe, and to wake up, because this had to be some sort of dream, this wasn't real life, he'd wake up and Keith would be right there next to him, everything would be _fine_ -

"Shiro," Hunk was saying. Shiro realized he was on the couch, though he didn't remember sitting down. "Shiro, breathe. Please."

Hunk was crying. He shouldn't be crying, because it wasn't true. 

"He's not dead," Shiro told him, pushing Hunk away. Shiro dug his nails into his palms and it hurt. It shouldn't. It shouldn't hurt because it wasn't real. 

Pidge was crying, too. Shiro could hear her. 

Shiro stood up, his whole body shaking. He ran around Hunk and Pidge and ran into his room and grabbed his cellphone. His hands were shaking so badly that he couldn't unlock it, and it made him angry. After several attempts he got it to unlock. He pulled up Keith's text message. 

 _11:02 pm Good night <3_ 

Nothing else. 

Shiro looked at the clock. It was after one a.m. now. Keith should be out of work. He dialed Keith's number. It just rang and rang. 

He dialed it again. Same thing. 

"Just answer the goddamn phone," he yelled, and he was crying, but Keith wouldn't answer the phone. 

Shiro went back out into the living room. Pidge was on the floor, hugging Kosmo. Hunk was talking to an officer, but they fell quiet when Shiro came back out into the room. 

"H-he won't answer his phone," Shiro said, and it fell from his hand and crashed to the floor. "H-he should b-be off work now, but he- he-"

"Shiro!"

Lance was in the doorway. His eyes were red, and Shiro only had to look at him for two seconds to know that Lance already knew. Lance didn't say anything, but he crossed the room in seconds and wrapped his arms around Shiro, and that's when it _hit_ Shiro.

This was really happening. It was real. 

Keith wasn't going to answer his phone. 

* * *

Time had no meaning. Shiro laid on his bed and cried. He cried and cried, even when his tears should've dried out. He felt like he had a big, gaping whole in his chest where his heart should be. 

Hours passed. Keith didn't come home. He didn't text, he didn't call. The sun came out. And he never came home. And he wasn't coming home again. 

Shiro kept getting crushed by the thought over and over, his grief like waves in the ocean, crashing down on him without giving him time to breathe. From the moment Shiro had met Keith in the library, Keith had been constantly on his mind. Every day, every moment they had spent together, Shiro had fallen more in more in love with him. He had given his heart to Keith, and now Keith was gone, and Shiro felt his heart was gone, too. Nothing anyone could say or do would help him feel better in any way, because the only thing he wanted, the thing he _needed_ , was Keith's arms around him. He needed to hear Keith say he loved him. He needed to hear Keith say that it was going to be okay. 

Because it felt like nothing was ever going to be okay again. 

He couldn't talk to Lance, or Hunk. Lance had sat with him for a while, but all that Shiro could do was cry. Eventually, Lance had left, promising that he would be back. Shiro would hear Hunk, or Pidge, or whoever moving around in the house. But Shiro just laid there. He laid there, until the tears finally did stop, and he was left with nothing but a vast emptiness inside of him. 

After some amount of time, Shiro got out of bed. His legs shook, and it took him a moment to find it in him to move. He opened his bedroom door quietly. No one was in the living room, except for Kosmo, who was sitting by the door. 

Noises were coming from the kitchen. Pidge's door was closed, but he could hear her inside. She was crying. He peeked into the kitchen. For a moment, just a second, he saw Keith there- rinsing out their cereal bowls in the sink. Had that just been yesterday? But it wasn't Keith in the kitchen. It was Hunk. And there were cookies. There were cookies everywhere. Every counter was covered with them. Hunk turned around and saw Shiro, and froze, a pan of cookies in his hand. 

"Hi," Hunk said, his voice a weird croak. "I-I'm making cookies. Cookies...cookies are good. Keith likes these cookies."

Hunk's eyes widened and he turned away. Shiro didn't say anything. He was afraid that if he opened his mouth, he would start crying again. And he didn't want to cry anymore. 

He went back to the living room. Kosmo was still waiting by the door. He probably had to go outside. Shiro grabbed his leash and slid on his shoes, pausing for a moment at the sight of Keith's sneakers next to the door. 

Another wave crashed down. Shiro's throat burned. He opened the door and stepped outside, the sunlight blinding him. 

Keith's car wasn't there. 

Another wave. 

Was Keith's car still at the diner? Where were his keys? His phone? Where was Keith? What was going to happen to him? Had he said anything? Had he died right away? Had he known what was happening? What were they going to do with his things? Did his mother know? Did the school know? Did the whole world know? Did the world understand? The sun had still come up. People were still driving down the street. The world was still turning, even if Shiro's had stopped. 

He wasn't sure how long he stood out there, his own thoughts and questions suffocating him. Kosmo seemed to know something was wrong. He didn't have his usual enthusiasm. Shiro took him back inside, staring at Keith's shoes again. He unhooked Kosmo's leash and hung it up. But Kosmo sat down at the door again. 

 _He's waiting for Keith to come home_ , Shiro realized. 

"Come on, Kosmo," Shiro said, his voice cracking.

Kosmo looked at him and whined. 

"Come on, Kosmo," he said again. "He's not coming."

The words were painful, like his heart was getting ripped out. Kosmo got up at last. Shiro headed back towards his room, but then he stopped. 

Keith's room. 

He stood there and looked at it for several moments. He felt like he shouldn't go in. He felt like he should never even look at it again. 

But he wanted to. 

He pushed the door open. Keith's room was mostly packed, ready to move to Krolia's next week. He had a few textbooks out, some clothes thrown messily. Shiro sat down on Keith's bed. The picture of Keith and his father was still next to his bed. 

How unfair life was. Keith lost his dad when he was so young. He'd been alone for so long. He'd went through so much, _so much_. Keith had been a good person. Keith had been the most wonderful person Shiro had ever known. He'd had a heart so big, and so loving, despite all the pain and suffering he had endured throughout his life. He'd opened his heart to Shiro, and loved him so deeply. Keith had made Shiro feel like he was alive again. He brought light back into Shiro's life. The sun had been brighter when Keith was there. Shiro had been living as though he were stuck. He hadn't been happy or unhappy, he had just been there, living day to day. But then Keith had smiled at him, and everything had changed.

Shiro lay down on Keith's bed. The pillow smelled like Keith. It smelled good. But at the same time, Shiro hated it. He hated it because this was all he had left, now. A smell, a picture, a memory, and the emptiness inside of him. 

Kosmo jumped up on the bed. Shiro rolled over as the dog tucked his head under Shiro's arm. "It's okay, buddy," Shiro said, his eyes watering again. But it wasn't okay. There was nothing okay with this. Shiro stroked Kosmo's head, and then buried his face into his fur, hugging him. 

Exhaustion overtook him, and he fell asleep.

* * *

"Shiro."

Shiro woke up, feeling incredibly groggy. He was confused for a few seconds. He was in Keith's bed, Kosmo curled up next to him. Lance was there, and he looked exhausted. Shiro's heart ached for some reason. His eyes fell on the photo of Keith and his dad next to the bed. 

And he remembered. 

Keith was gone. 

"I'm sorry," Lance said. "But someone is here to see you."

Shiro stared at him, blinking back his tears. He sat up. He felt almost disconnected, like a robot. He got up out of the bed and followed Lance. Hunk and Pidge were both in the living room, now. Allura was there as well, as she had her arms around Pidge. They all looked at him as he walked by, and Shiro had to look away from them, because there was too much sadness in their eyes. 

Lance motioned towards the door without a word. Shiro opened it. Krolia was sitting on the steps. 

She looked up at him. They just looked at each other for several moments, their sorrow like a tangible thing. He could feel her pain, and she could feel his. He closed the door and sat down next to her, trying not to think about how he'd sat there with Keith just a couple nights ago. 

They didn't say anything at first. They just sat there, the sun setting behind the trees. The sky was beautiful, painted with orange and pink. It reminded him of the sunsets he and Keith had watched together in California. Keith would have liked this sunset, too. 

"I don't know what to do," Shiro told Krolia. 

"Me neither," she replied, her voice small. 

"I don't know how I'm supposed to keep living without him here," Shiro whispered. "I keep waiting and hoping that he'll come home but...he hasn't. And I know he hasn't, and I know he won't, but...but I need him to, because I don't know what to do."

Tears splashed over his cheeks again, and Krolia pulled him into her arms, and Shiro clung to her desperately, the waves hitting non stop. The sun sunk behind the trees and they just sat there, their tears falling, and Shiro realized a whole day had already passed. A whole day had passed, and it was a day that he had lived through and Keith had not. Every day that came afterward would be another day that Keith would never get to experience. And that just wasn't fair. It wasn't right, and Shiro hated it. 

Shiro hated this world where Keith didn't exist. 

* * *

Miles away, a nineteen year old by the name of Zachery Williamson turns himself into the local police.

* * *

Shiro went back into his house, pocketing Krolia's phone number. She was going to be calling him in the next day or two, so they could try to figure out what they were going to do for Keith, and his funeral.

Lance, Allura, Hunk, and Pidge were all waiting for him inside. He closed the front door behind him, and looked around at his friends' faces. He was painfully aware that one was missing.

"Keith," Shiro said, even his name painful for Shiro to say, "Keith is...he's really not coming home."

Pidge was the first one up, wrapping her arms around him tightly, and then it was Lance, and Allura and Hunk, and they were all there, all hugging him and each other, their pain and grief and anger and sadness all mixing together. Shiro realized that they were hurting, too. They had all lost someone. They had all lost a friend. They had all lost a member of their family. They had all lost Keith.

Keith had worked his way into each of their hearts. He had talked over and over about how much they had helped him, but what he had never realized how much he had helped them all, too.  

 


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> <3 <3 <3 <3

In the parking lot of Sara's Diner sat an old car, a small 90's Ford. A lot of people were talking about the diner, the car, and the boy who drove it. It sat silently, because the driver was gone. 

One of the staff members decided to leave something there- a bouquet of flowers. Another staff member decided to leave something as well, and left a candle. And slowly, the car became a memorial to the boy who had driven it. The town didn't understand the horrors that had taken place in that very parking lot. Shootings never happened there, after all. Bad things in general never happened. The idea that a young man was gunned down and left to die was appalling, and scary. The town wasn't sure how to handle it. They were saddened by the loss of a life so young. 

So they left cards, and flowers, and teddybears- anything they could think of, to show their love and support, and their grief. 

The day after the boy's death, his mother shows up to get the car- and she is moved to tears. She reads every card, every note. Her heart breaks, and yet it is warmed at the same time. 

Everyone in the small town now knows the name of Keith Kogane. 

* * *

Shiro sat down in the library. Today was the first time that he had left the house since Keith's death. It was Thursday; tomorrow was his college graduation. Not that he cared, of course. He really couldn't find it in him to care about much of anything the past couple days. But he'd missed his last final, and his professor had been nice enough to arrange for him to come in and take it in his office, open book. Shiro almost didn't come. But there was a small part of him that told him that Keith would want him to, so Shiro had gotten dressed and came down to campus. And he'd passed the test. He officially passed his senior year. He had made it. 

But Keith had not, and that's all that Shiro could think about. 

"Takashi."

Shiro looked up from the empty seat across from him. There stood Romelle, her hands gripping the empty chair tightly. 

"Hey," he said, his voice cracking. 

Romelle looked down at the empty seat in front of her. Shiro looked at it, too. They were both silent, both understanding the significance of that table, the chair, and the person who was not sitting in it. 

Romelle walked around the table and sat down in the chair next to Shiro. She seemed to be struggling to find words. Shiro just waited silently. He didn't have very many words lately, either. 

Finally, Romelle spoke. "Can I hug you?"

Shiro looked at her. Her eyes were full of tears. He couldn't help but appreciate Romelle greatly in that moment. She didn't say "I'm sorry" or ask him how he was doing. She just offered to hug him. He nodded, and she scooted her chair a little closer so she could lean in and hug him. 

Shiro hadn't planned on going into the library. He had planned on going straight to his professor's office and then straight back home. But once he was there, and saw the library, his legs had taken him there. Right back to where it all began. It seemed like it was just yesterday, that nameless, dark haired boy was sitting there, reading _1984_ quietly on his own. Shiro would have never imagined back then that he would have fallen so helplessly in love with Keith. He never imagined that he would be sitting there, all these months later, his heart completely broken. 

"Do you remember what we said the other day about things being meant to be?" Shiro asked Romelle. 

She didn't answer right away. "I remember," she whispered.

"I can't believe that all things happen for a reason," Shiro replied. "Not anymore."

Romelle was quiet for a moment. "I don't believe things were meant to end like this," she agreed. "But I do think that you were meant to meet him, here. Do you regret meeting him?"

Shiro's heart squeezed painfully. "No," he whispered. 

As much as his heart hurt, he would never regret loving Keith. 

* * *

Lance appeared in the doorway to Shiro's room. Shiro was just laying on his bed staring at the ceiling. Kosmo lay next to him, a constant presence the past couple days. Shiro found comfort in having Kosmo there with him, and Kosmo seemed to find it, as well. 

Lance cleared his throat, and Shiro looked at him. Lance was dressed up, in a white button up and black pants. Today was graduation day, after all. 

"Are you sure you don't want to go?" Lance asked him. Lance looked tired. Shiro had a feeling his best friend hadn't been sleeping much. He had been there with Shiro every day, though they hadn't really spoken, much. Nothing more than simple things like "have you eaten" or "do you want some coffee."

Shiro sat up on his bed. He'd already called his mother and told her not to bother coming. And he just couldn't bring himself to put on his cap and gown and smile and be around so many happy faces. It just felt wrong. And the one person he wanted to see in the crowd, smiling at him, would not be there.

"No," Shiro told Lance. "I don't want to go."

Lance sighed and sat down on the bed. "I can stay here with you," he said. "I don't want you to be alone."

Shiro shook his head. "You should go. You worked hard for this. Plus, your whole family is waiting. I'll be okay here for a couple hours. Plus, I have Kosmo."

Lance smiled sadly and patted Kosmo's head. "Are you going to get able to do this thing later? The memorial?"

Shiro's throat tightened. He and Krolia had decided against having a standard funeral for Keith. There were only a handful of people who had known and loved him, and Keith hadn't been religious at all. It just felt wrong to have some big thing, and they really didn't want to have the local news around, either. So instead they had decided they would have their own little gathering-just Krolia, Shiro, and Keith's friends, there at the house.

"Yeah," Shiro answered, though in all honesty he was afraid. He was afraid because memorials are meant to remember someone, and to say goodbye, and he wasn't ready to say goodbye. "I'll be fine."

Lance looked uncertain. Shiro sighed. "I'll be fine, Lance. You should go before you are late."

After a few seconds of hesitation, Lance stood up. "All right," he said, still sounding unsure. "We'll all be back in a couple of hours. You can always call any of us, and we won't be that far away."

Shiro nodded. Lance held up his fist, a sad smile on his face, and Shiro returned the fist bump. 

"I am proud of you," Shiro told him. "I'm proud of all of you. Will you tell them that for me?"

Lance looked sad. "Of course."

Shiro watched Lance go, and it felt so strange. Shiro and his friends had spent the last four years together. They had always imagined finally making it to their graduation. They always talked about how much fun it would be, and the huge party the would throw. Shiro had always imagined taking photos in his cap and gown with his friends across the campus, and they'd have their last get together and party the night away. 

He never imagined he would skip his graduation. He even felt a bit guilty for it, even though he knew the others understood. He should be out there with them, getting ready. They should be talking about how they finally made it through college together. And Keith should be there, with them. But things were different, now. 

Shiro couldn't help but feel angry, as he heard his friends leave. Anger was a new emotion that was becoming familiar to him. Ever since Krolia had told Shiro that Zachery had been arrested for Keith's murder, anger had taken root in his stomach, and it would overtake him randomly. This was another one of those moments. Shiro should be out there with his friends. He shouldn't be locked in his room, unable to be around all the happy people. Zachery had taken this from him, as well. Zachery had taken Keith, taken Shiro's heart, taken his happiness- he had taken _everything_ away from him. Why should Zachery get to live, while Keith had to die? Keith had been loving, and had been trying so hard to better himself. He'd been working hard to get good grades, despite the head injury Zachery had given him. He'd opened up to his friends. He'd just barely started to get to know his mother. He and Shiro had been planning to begin a life together, and they were going to be happy. They were going to finally be free. 

Zachery had done nothing good. He'd taken the life of an innocent person. And yet he was alive, and breathing, and Keith was not. It was just so goddamned _unfair_. 

Shiro kicked his bedside table. Now he had a heart that hurt and a toe that hurt, too. Shiro massaged his foot, the anger draining out of him, leaving him feeling exhausted. He was just so tired of feeling so many things, and yet feeling so empty at the same time. He felt like the world around him was moving so quickly. There were so many things that he was supposed to be doing. But he could barely function. People kept on having to remind him to eat and drink water like he was a child, incapable of taking care of himself. All he was capable of was thinking about Keith, constantly. Keith was everywhere. The look on his face when he was concentrating. The way he tied his hair back. The way he smiled whenever they looked at one another. His warmth cuddled next to Shiro on the bed. Every memory, every feeling, was there inside of Shiro, constantly tugging his emotions between his anger and grief. And yet there was still a vast emptiness inside of him the felt like it would never be filled again. 

It was exhausting. 

Shiro stood up, feeling restless. He wasn't sure exactly what they were doing or planning to do tonight for this memorial. He hadn't really wanted to think about it too much. He hadn't really talked to any of his friends, or Krolia either. He felt like every time he talked, he would start to cry, and he was just tired of crying. 

His room was a mess. Half of his things were in boxes, piles on the floor and desk. He hadn't really bothered picking up after himself the past couple days, just throwing his clothes on the floor. He had several dishes piled next to his bed. Every time he tried to go into the kitchen, all he could see was Keith standing there at the sink. The last place he had ever seen him. And Shiro just couldn't bring himself to walk in there. So the dishes piled, until Hunk or Pidge came in and grabbed them. 

Shiro turned to his bookshelf. He hadn't begun packing his books away, yet. He always put the books off for last, as it took so long to pack and unpack them. His fingers trailed over them. His books had always been a comfort to him. When he was younger, the books were his escape when things at home were bad, or he wasn't feeling well. He could open up a book and escape, falling into another world, his pain and worries forgotten, at least for a little while. 

Shiro's finger stopped. _1984_. 

He pulled the book off the shelf. He opened it, the post it note Keith had put there still clinging to the page. 

_If you loved someone, you loved him, and when you had nothing else to give, you still gave him love._

Shiro sat down on the floor, Kosmo jumping down to sit next to him. Shiro traced the words with his finger, written in Keith's slightly untidy writing. Keith had had nothing to give Shiro but his love, but his love had been everything to Shiro. 

Shiro closed the book and hugged it to him. It was a small part of Keith, a small part of the story they had written together. He at least had a piece of Keith he would be able to keep with him always, and that was a small comfort in a sea of hurt. 

* * *

 Shiro got himself cleaned up the best he could. He at least put some clean, wrinkle free clothes on and washed his face. In a way it helped him feel a little better. He took Kosmo outside, and the fresh air helped a little, as well. He sat outside with Kosmo for a long time, watching Kosmo sniff things and chase bugs around. He was still outside when Krolia rolled up to the house. Kosmo pulled out of Shiro's grip and ran to her excitedly, and she smiled warmly and patted the dog's head as she got out of her car. 

"Sorry about that," Shiro said as she walked Kosmo back to him. "I wasn't expecting him to run like that. I guess he likes you."

She smiled. "It's okay. I like him, too." She handed him the leash. "The others aren't here?"

"Still at graduation," Shiro said, feeling a little pang in his heart. 

"Oh, yeah." Krolia sat down. "I forgot. You didn't want to go?"

Shiro shook his head. "That's okay," Krolia told him. "It's just a ceremony, anyway." She cleared her throat. "Are you...sure you want to do this, today?"

He sighed. "I don't think I'll ever want to do it. But I will."

She nodded, wrapping her arms around her knees. "I know you've been thinking about a lot, but...what's happening, with the house? Are the others still leaving?"

"Yeah," Shiro replied, patting Kosmo's head. "I told Pidge she can't give up that job, when she was so excited to get it. And Hunk already had a bunch of things lined up back home as well. I'm...I'll probably just crash with Lance and Allura until...." Until when, he wasn't sure. Until everything stopped hurting so much, maybe. 

Krolia looked a bit nervous. "Well," she said, not looking at him, "if you...you know, if you still want to get out of town, and you need a place to go, I still have an extra bedroom at the house. There's a yard Kosmo will like, and...I know you don't know me, and I don't know you much either, but...I kind of feel like I do. Because I know how much Keith loved you. He talked about you all the time."

Shiro stared at her, frowning. "You would still let me come out there, without Keith?"

She smiled at him, though her eyes were watering. "You knew him better than anyone," she said, wiping her eyes. "And I guess part of me wants to learn more about him, so I thought...I don't know. He told me you and your parents...that you don't really have a home to go back to. And I understand you'd rather be close to your friends now, but...just know that you are always welcome."

Shiro wasn't sure what to say. He was moved that Krolia, who had just lost her son after barely finding him again, was willing to open her heart and her home to him, despite the pain and grief she was feeling. Shiro was struck by how much she and Keith were alike. To be able to love and reach out to others despite their own pain- it was a strength and courage that was profound. 

"I didn't get to know Keith for that long," Krolia said, looking at her feet. "But he's been in my heart since the day he was born. I may not have been able to show my love for him or even understand it, but I have always loved him. I've always wanted him to be happy." She looked back up at Shiro, her tears falling. "One thing I know is that you made him happy. You gave him a family, and a home, and love when I could not. So thank you, Shiro. Thank you for making him so happy." 

_"When you're happy, it makes me happy."_

_"Your smile was like a light in the darkness."_

_"I think I'm falling in love with you."_

He always smiled when he looked at Shiro.

_You smile, and I feel like I'm top of the world._

_You hold me, and I feel safe._

_You don't even have to say anything. Just being near you, just seeing you across a room makes everything brighter._

_That's what it means to love someone._

Krolia was hugging him, and Shiro realized he was crying again, the great big sobs that shook his whole body. He had wanted nothing more than to love Keith, and make him happy. He had wanted nothing more than to make Keith happy for the rest of his life. He would do anything, and give anything, to bring Keith back and have him in his arms again. But he couldn't do that. He knew that, now.

All he could do now is be thankful for the time he had with Keith while he was here, and be thankful that he had been able to make Keith as happy as Keith had made him.

It wasn't enough, and would never be enough. But it was something.

* * *

 Shiro opened the door, and there stood Veronica. She looked tired, and nervous, and she could only look him in the eye for a couple seconds before looking away. 

"Hi, Veronica," he said. "We weren't sure if you were going to come or not."

"I wasn't sure either," she said, looking at her feet. "I sat in my car for a good thirty minutes before I decided to turn it on and drive here."

Shiro closed the front door and stepped out on to the porch. "I'm glad that you are here," Shiro told her. "You were his friend, too."

Veronica bit her lip. "I'm sorry I...I'm sorry I couldn't do anything," she whispered. "It...it all happened so f-fast..."

Shiro pulled her into his arms. "It's not your fault," he told her, holding her tightly. "Never think for a second that it was. We already know that there wasn't...there wasn't anything that they could have done."

Veronica nodded, hugging him tightly. "I know," she whispered. "I know that, but...I still...I wish I could have helped him."

Shiro swallowed hard. "You did. You were kind to him, and you were a friend to him, and I know he cared about you. You did help him."

They stood out on the porch for several more minutes, before they finally went inside. 

* * *

Shiro sat between Lance and Krolia on the couch, watching a slideshow that Pidge had put together over the past couple days. Shiro hardly realized how many photos they had actually taken over the year, but he was grateful for every one of them. Especially, for the photos they had taken less than a week ago, there in that very room, the night before Keith had died. They had all been laughing and posing in photos together, and they had so much fun doing it. It was hard to see Keith's face, smiling in photos with everyone and to think that just a day later, he was gone. But at the same time, Shiro was so thankful that they'd had these moments at all. Because it _had_ been fun. And they had been happy. And Keith had looked so different than the quiet boy that sat alone in the library. 

He looked happy.

Everyone in the room was teary eyed after the slideshow ended. Pidge stood up, wiping her face. "I just wanted to say thank you," she said, not looking at any of them. "I wanted to say thank you to Keith, because this year had been so much fun. I'll remember all our parties and get togethers. And I'll remember the times he stayed up late with me to play games, even though he didn't know how to play them, or the mornings he'd have my coffee waiting when he woke up before me. I just...I'm so thankful that I got to be his friend."

She looked at Shiro, and she smiled, though she was crying, too. 

"I loved how he always wanted to help me around the kitchen," Hunk added, "even though he knew nothing about cooking. He just always wanted to help. And he'd always clean up after himself, which is better than some people," he added, grinning at Pidge, who laughed. "And he was always so kind and considerate. He was pretty quiet at times, but he seemed to just know how you were feeling. If I was having a bad day, he would just come and sit on the couch with me and turn on some baking show, even though I know he didn't care about watching it. But he'd watch it with me, because he knew it would cheer me up."

"He gave me a good reason to poke fun at Takashi every day," Romelle said with a grin. "And...he showed me that it's possible to find love, the real kind of love, in the most unlikely of places."

"He always liked to give Lance a hard time," Allura said, her eyes sparkling with tears. "He really opened up the more we got to know him. He was always a little shy with me. But I remember on Christmas when he pulled on the sweater I made him right away, and I saw him wear it a lot after that. He was always so thankful for everything. Everything in his life was a gift, and he never took anything, or any of us for granted. I guess I took him for granted-" She wiped her eyes. "But I'll never forget, now. I'll never forget that life is a gift, and to be thankful for everything that I have."

"He always...he always worked so hard, no matter what," Veronica said, grabbing Allura's hand. "No matter what he was faced with, he took it as it was, and dealt with it. He was quiet, and he never complained. I was always a bit amazed by him, and even a little envious of the strength he was able to show. And all top of that, he was kind. He was always kind and polite to everyone he met. I've....I don't know if I'll ever meet anyone quite like him."

"We was one of a kind," Lance agreed. "It took him a while, to open up to us, but...it was worth it. He was just a good person. The kind of person you want to be your friend. The kind of person you trust, and you respect. The kind of person that I think we all want to be. The room was just a little brighter when he was in it. I didn't know him that long, but I kind of felt like I had known him forever at the same time."

Shiro's chest constricted as he tried to think of the right words to say. Everyone looked at him, waiting. Krolia took his hand and squeezed it. 

"Keith," Shiro said, his name alone was enough to cause Shiro to stop and recollect himself. He took a deep breath, and tried to imagine what he would say to Keith if he was right there, in front of him. No one else, just him and Keith, Keith's little awkward smile on his face, his eyes bright. 

"You gave me your love," Shiro whispered, "and it was the most beautiful, consuming love I have ever known. It made it easier to wake up in the morning. It made it easier to smile. You gave me something to look forward to, every day. You knew what I was thinking without me having to say it. You knew exactly what I needed when I needed it. You made me smile when I couldn't find a reason to. You reminded me of what it meant to love someone, what it meant to love someone completely and unconditionally. You made me feel safe, like I could do anything and everything. Things weren't easy, for either of us. We both...we both struggled sometimes. But we got through it. I got through it because you loved me. I am who I am today because you loved me. You made me a better person. And I want to keep being that person, because I want to be a person that you are proud of."

Shiro put his hand to his chest, gripping his shirt. "I will never stop loving you," he whispered. "You will be in my heart every moment of every day. I'll see you in the books on my shelf. I'l hear you voice when the snow begins to fall. I'll dream of you when I close my eyes. I will never forget everything you done for me. I'll never forget the love you have given me. I'm sorry that it wasn't for longer. I wanted it to be forever. It felt like it would be forever. But you will live forever in me. Because I'll never forget you. I'll never stop fighting for you. And I'll never, ever stop loving you."

Krolia pulled him into a hug. "And he will never stop loving you," she whispered. 

"None of us will forget him," Lance said, his hand on Shiro's shoulder. 

"H-he'll be here in each and every one of us," Pidge promised. 

"We're his family," Hunk said, his voice cracking. "He'll always have a place in this family."

They all hugged him, each and everyone one of his friends. Shiro could feel their love and knew that they were telling the truth. None of them would ever be able to forget Keith. He was gone, but he was still there, because he had touched each and every one of them and left a piece of himself behind. He would be there with Pidge in the nights she stayed up too late playing games, and he would be there with Hunk on the nights he turned on baking shows to feel better. He would be with Allura with every gift she received, and with Lance every time he threw a snowball. He would be there with Veronica when things started to get too overwhelming, and with Romelle when she finally found the one she loved. He would be there with Krolia in her heart every day, as he had since the moment she brought him into this world. And he would be there with Shiro, every time the sun would set, and every time he woke up, and every time he cried or laughed or got angry. 

Keith had come in to their lives, so quietly, so easily. 

And he had left too soon. 

But he had given them a friendship, and a love that would never be taken away. 

He would be there with them always, and he would live on through the memories they had created together. 

That night, Shiro stood on the front porch and watched the sunset. It was beautiful, and warm, just like Keith. He felt it all around him, like an embrace. 

Shiro would never get tired of the sunset, because that's when he would feel closest to Keith. There little time together, every day. So bright and blazing, just like the boy that Shiro loved. 


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Epiloge <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you've made it this far, I just want to say a big THANK YOU <3 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading. This story was a joy to write, and a definite roller coaster of emotions. I put a lot of my self and my own experiences into it. 
> 
> I would love to hear from you if you made it to the end, so please leave a comment if you want to share what you thought <3 
> 
> Thank you if you've left a comment or kudos!! You guys are the best <3

one and a half years later

Shiro's alarm clock blared, waking him from a deep sleep.

Kosmo jumped up out of bed, apparently startled by the blaring as well. Shiro reached around until he found his phone, yawning. He turned the awful alarm off and looked at his phone. 

"Shit!" he yelled, throwing the covers back. He had several messages from his friends

_Lance 0703 am Did you wake up yet_

_Hunk 0731 am on my way see you soon_

_Lance 0739 am SHIRO_

_Krolia 0804 am Are you dropping Kosmo off at Lance's place_

Shiro quickly messaged his friends back as he ran around his apartment, hurriedly trying to get ready. He could have sworn he'd set his alarm for earlier. He was supposed to meet his friends in an hour and a half, though they were nearly two hours away. He let them know he was running late but on his way, cursing himself the entire time as he tried to put on his socks while brushing his teeth. Kosmo watched him, silently judging him, Shiro was sure. Getting himself put together and presentable looking in record time, Shiro grabbed his keys and hooked Kosmo's leash, walking out of his apartment and into the sunny October morning.

Things had been going pretty well for Shiro. He'd been at his job in social services for almost a year now. It was a demanding job, and it took up a lot of his time. Some days he felt like he was working from the moment he woke up from the moment he went to bed. It was also emotionally demanding. It was really hard, to meet kids and families that came from some sad, hard lives and backgrounds. Some days it was too much, and Shiro wondered what he was doing working in the field. But some days, things actually worked out, and something good would happen, and it would remind him of why he had wanted to work in social services in the first place. Because he wanted to help people. 

He saw Keith in a lot of the kids that he met. Angry, alone, feeling like there was no hope for them. That, too gave Shiro the drive to work harder, to show these kids that good things were possible for them, too. 

Shiro got on to the freeway, the windows rolled down, Kosmo's hanging his head out. It was unseasonably warm for this late in October, but Shiro was loving it. He didn't get to go out for drives that often anymore, and the leaves were changing and then sun was out. The day was perfect. It made him smile. He was excited to see his friends, again. With their busy schedules and lives, and the added miles between them, it was quite hard to get them all together in one place. But they still made exceptions to their busy schedules in order to see each other every couple of months. Today was one of those days. 

Keith's birthday. 

they had decided that every year they would gather together back in their small college town, to have brunch together at the diner in honor of Keith's birthday.It was always a bit bittersweet for all of them to go back there, thanks to the memories it held for all of them. Shiro had only lived there for four years, but they had been the most important years of his life.

Lance and Allura still lived in town, though they had gotten their own little house a little outside of the town. They had needed more space, now that it was no longer just the two of them-they now had a baby girl of their own, who had been born earlier that spring. Pidge was still living in Philadelphia, and had been loving living and working there since she had moved away. Hunk was still living back in his hometown with his family, though he had taken over his dad's shop and was running it himself, now. Shiro had moved to Pittsburgh when he'd received his job offer working for social services there, and so far he liked living there. It was busier than the town he'd been living in before-the same town Krolia still lived in-but it had been a good change for him. He finally felt like he was getting onto his feet after struggling for so long. 

Shiro felt the familiar tug in his heart as he came closer and closer to his old home. He exited off the freeway, everything feeling so familiar and yet so weird at the same time. He made a detour to Lance's house first, instead of heading straight to the diner, even though he was a good thirty minutes late. Kosmo wasn't allowed inside the diner, and Shiro had felt too guilty to leave him home alone all day. 

Veronica appeared in the doorway, smiling at him, a small baby in her arms. "Hey, Shiro!" she said, opening the door as Kosmo ran in the house excitedly. She gave him a one armed hug, and Shiro couldn't help but to steal the little baby out of her arms. 

"She's getting so big," he said, smiling brightly down at the little face, and she smiled widely back at him. "I've missed you, Lilly."

"I swear she is growing every day," Veronica agreed. "She's amazing, though. I spoil her, I must admit."

Shiro grinned at her. "So you're staying here with the kids?" he asked, gesturing at baby Lilly and Kosmo. "You didn't want to join us?"

Veronica looked away for a moment before looking back at him, her smile a little more strained. "No," she said. 

Shiro could see the shame and fear in her face, although she tried to hide it. "You still can't go back there," he stated. She nodded. 

"Maybe someday," she said quietly, smiling down at her niece. "But for now, I will hang out here with Kosmo and Lilly and we'll have a great time." She took the baby back. "By the way, Shiro, you should get going. The others left a while ago."

"Right, right," he said hastily. "It's good to see you, Veronica. And you, Lilly," he cooed at the baby. "Be good Kosmo." He patted Kosmo's head. "I'll be back in a couple of hours."

"Have fun!" Veronica said as Shiro waved goodbye. He got back into his car and made the familiar trip towards town, and a whole lot of memories. 

Shiro couldn't blame Veronica for not wanting to return to Sara's Diner. He found it hard at times as well. He'd come down there a few times on his own, when there weren't that many people around, just to stand alone in the parking lot. They were usually the bad nights, where he couldn't make sense of anything, and he would go there to the spot where Keith had died and try to get answers. He would stand there, trying to understand how and why the events of that night had happened. He would stand there and wonder what Keith had felt in those last moments. He wondered if he had been afraid, or angry, or too shocked to feel anything. He wondered if he had thought about Shiro, or if he'd been able to think of anything at all. 

He never got any answers, though. 

As much pain as the diner held, he also felt connected to it, because he had spent so much time there, both with Keith and his friends as well. It had always just been that place, the one they went to when they wanted to celebrate something or were out in town or just didn't feel like cooking or eating on campus. And Keith had spent a lot of time here as well, even before Shiro had known his name. It would just always be one of those places that a little part of Shiro's heart would be stuck in forever. 

Shiro pulled into the diner's parking lot, his heart beating a little quickly in his chest. He had to take a deep breath and try not to think about the bad things that had happened there. He focused instead on his friends who were inside waiting for him. It was enough to get him out of his car and into the little restaurant. His friends had gotten a table to themselves near the back. Lance waved his arms in the air when Shiro walked in, as if Shiro didn't already see them. Shiro chuckled and made his way to them. 

Pidge stood up first, hugging him tightly. Now that she was living on the other side of the state, she was the one they saw the least of. Shiro hugged her back tightly. 

"It's about time you got your ass here," she said as the broke apart, grinning at him. "Did you oversleep?"

"No," Shiro said at once, but he grinned too. Pidge looked a lot different. She looked older, and perhaps a bit more confident. Philadelphia had been good for her, and Shiro couldn't help but be proud. 

"Hey Shiro," Hunk said, standing up to hug him as well. His hugs were as strong as ever. "Glad you made it. I'll need to get you another alarm clock."

"Yeah, yeah," Shiro chuckled. 

Allura was up next. Her hair was shorter now, probably due to the baby always grabbing it. She looked tired but happy. She hugged him tightly. 

"Lilly is beautiful," he told her. "She's getting big so fast."

"Don't remind me," Allura said with a smile. "Time just seems to fly by."

"She definitely takes after her dad," Lance said, standing up with open arms. Allura rolled her eyes. "I told Allura her first word is going to be 'Dada' for sure."

Shiro hugged his best friend. "Sorry I missed all your messages," Shiro said. 

"Ah, I knew you'd make it here," Lance said, patting his back. "And I'm glad to see you, as always."

"I'm not at all glad to see you," Shiro said, and Lance glared at him, causing Shiro to laugh. "I'm kidding, you know I'm kidding."

Krolia was last. She smiled warmly and hugged him, and he felt so much relief in her hugs. She held him just an extra moment longer, perhaps sensing the small unease he had being back there. Krolia had been one of the best support systems he could have ever asked for. He did end up spending that summer after Keith's death with her. They had both had a vast emptiness inside of them, and somehow, they had been able to understand each other's grief. She'd given him a safe place to stay while he tried to figure out what he was doing with his life, and he had given her the stories of the son she had barely gotten to know. And in sharing all of his favorite things about Keith with her, Shiro had been able to heal, as well. It had became easier to talk about him. He began to smile when he thought of Keith, rather than just break down into tears. He still had his days, even now, where the grief felt as fresh as it had the night Keith had died. But they weren't as often as they used to be. And he was grateful to Krolia for helping him through the worst of it. 

"The waitress has been getting impatient," Lance whispered as Shiro finally sat down next to him, and a waitress Shiro had never seen came to take their order. There were a few new faces at the diner. Shiro noticed the more and more time he spent away, the more things started to change. It was weird, and kind of sad, in a way. There were new faces in town. The coffee shop across from the university had shut down, replaced by some smoothie bar. New buildings were being built on campus. The town was slowly changing, and Shiro couldn't help but to be sad, because it was no longer the same town that Keith had known it as. 

They all placed their order-all ordering Keith's favorite blueberry pancakes-and began to chat and catch up. Lance and Allura could talk endlessly about Lilly, every little moment and accomplishment exciting for them. But Shiro was more than happy to listen to them talk. He was forever proud of Lance for the person he had become. He'd been such a goofy kid when they first met, with big ideas of partying and going crazy every day of the night. Shiro would have never imagined back then that Lance would be where he was today. Though Lance would forever be goofy, he had become a wonderful husband and father. And he'd never stopped being Shiro's best friend, even when he'd gone through the most painful moments of his life. 

Shiro found himself listening more than talking with his friends, like he had often done back when they were all roommates. He like hearing their stories, about work or their lives or new people they had met. It made him happy to know that they were all doing well, and that they were all happy. But he never really had much to say about himself. 

Shiro smiled to himself as he picked at his pancakes. Keith would have been twenty-one today. They-especially Lance-would have probably had a long night out, letting Keith get legally drunk for the first time. Shiro wondered what life would be like. He often wondered how different things would be if Keith were still there. It didn't do him any good, to dream of the life they could have had. But that didn't stop him from thinking about it. Shiro hadn't dated anyone since Keith, and he still didn't think he was ready to. Some part of him wondered if he'd ever be able to open his heart like that to anyone ever again. Perhaps, someday. But for now, he just focused on himself, and getting to place where he felt good about things again. 

It had been a hard journey, but he was getting there. 

"Shiro," Krolia said softly, reaching out to squeeze his hand. Shiro looked around and realized the others were all looking at him, too. "Are you alright?"

"Um- yeah," Shiro said quickly, smiling at them. "I was...I was just thinking about how it would be his twenty first birthday, and Lance would have had fun getting him wasted."

"Why just me?" Lance said, raising an eyebrow. "I think we all would have enjoyed it. He was a silly drunk."

"That's true," Pidge said with a grin. "He was a bit of a lightweight, too, so it wouldn't have taken much."

Shiro chuckled. "It...it would have been a lot of fun. We should all have a drink for him tonight."

"I'm down," Lance said with a grin. "As long as Lilly goes to sleep okay, of course," he added quickly when Allura looked at him. 

"I always miss him this time of year," Hunk said quietly. "I think it was autumn when we met him, and...I just think of him and how quiet and polite he was that first night he came over."

"And then he became our roommate," Pidge added with a smile. "Just like that."

Shiro missed Keith a lot this time of year, as well. He missed Keith every single day, but there was something about the autumn air that just automatically reminded him of Keith. 

"To Keith," Lance said, raising his coffee cup, and everyone around the table did the same. "Happy birthday, buddy."

"Happy birthday," they all said, and Shiro added quietly, "I love you."

* * *

"Hey," Shiro said, pulling Lance aside as they all went back to their cars. "I'm going to take a drive for a bit, if you guys don't mind if Kosmo hangs out a little longer?"

"Yeah, no problem," Lance said, and he frowned. "Are you...are you going to be okay?"

"Yeah," Shiro said with an assuring smile. "I...I just want some time alone."

Lance smiled sadly at him and clapped him on the back. "Of course. See you back at the house in a bit?"

"Yeah, thanks," Shiro said, feeling a bit relieved. For some reason, he just really needed some time to himself. He felt like Keith was all around him today, on the streets of the town where they had met. Maybe it was nostalgia, or maybe he just needed to feel closer to Keith without the others being around, but Shiro just really wanted some alone time with his feelings. 

He took off towards campus, deciding to check it out and see what had changed. He parked in one of the lots, hoping no one noticed he didn't have a parking pass. A lot of the students were out today, enjoying the nice weather. Shiro felt strange as he walked the familiar pathways. It was almost as if he could walk into one of the buildings and take a class. He missed it, in a way. He'd had some really wonderful years when he was a student there. He'd met the people who had become the most important to him. 

Of course, Shiro found himself in front of the library. It was the biggest building after all, right in the center of campus, so it wasn't hard to run into. The library still had such a pull on him. He walked in, and he remembered the time he'd bought Keith an iced coffee, and Keith had been so happy- because no one had ever bought him coffee before. The library looked almost the same. It was almost as if he was coming in for his regular shift, reading to reorganize the shelves. He couldn't help but make his way to the desk in the corner. He could still see Keith there in his mind, hunched over a book. The desk was even in the same place. Shiro smiled to himself. It really did feel like just yesterday. 

"No way." A familiar noice greeted him, and Shiro turned around to see Romelle, grinning widely. "Takashi!" she cried, running at him and throwing her arms around his neck. 

"Romelle," he said, surprised, and laughed as he hugged her back. "What- what are you doing here?"

"I work here," she said with a grin as they pulled apart. "Old Mrs. Ruth retired, and so I applied for her position, and I got it, somehow."

"That's- that's awesome," he chuckled. "I can't believe you are back working here again."

Romelle shrugged. "What can I say, I liked it here. It feels kind of like a home to me. But anyway-what are you doing here? Don't you live in Pittsburgh now?"

"Yeah," he replied. "I'm just in town for today. It's...it's Keith's birthday."

A look of sadness passed over her face, and she smiled at him. "You know, I moved these tables back to the way they were when we worked here," she said, looking down at the table behind Shiro fondly. "I just couldn't have it any other way. It feels almost like a tribute to him, in a way."

He blinked. "You put....?" But then he smiled. Of course she had. He wasn't even surprised. 

She smiled again. "How've you been?"

"Better," he told her, and it was the truth. "Things are going a lot better. The job's been good, and it keeps me busy. I like my apartment. I'm...I'm pretty happy with how things are going."

"I'm glad to hear that," she said, squeezing his hand. "You deserve so many good things, Takashi."

He smiled but didn't say anything. He put his hands on the empty chair, and took a deep breath. 

"I should head back," he said, looking back up at her. "Kosmo is at Lance's house, and the others are waiting back there. But I'm really glad I got to see you."

"So am I," she replied, hugging him again. "You can come by and see me any time, if you are around. Or you know, if you ever get on social media again, send me a message."

"I will," he said, and someone called for Romelle from behind the front desk. 

"I'm sorry, I have to run!" she said, waving and Shiro as she went to deal with whatever was happening. "Take care, Takashi!"

Shiro waved with a small grin on his face. Some things really did just stay the same in this small town. 

He lingered in the library a little longer, the memory of meeting Keith there still fresh in his mind. After a few minutes he left, the sun still shining brightly outside. There would be a beautiful sunset tonight, and he was looking forward to it. 

Shiro made his way back to his car, and thankfully he hadn't gotten any parking tickets. He looked back at the campus one more time, his heart full with all the memories it held. 

"Happy birthday, Keith," he said, and he climbed back into his car and drove away. 

Keith was still alive in his heart, even after all this time had passed. And that love was a constant comfort to Shiro. Because a love like the one that they had, that was the kind of love that lasted forever. 

* * *

 Romelle was relieved as the library closed for the night. She was still trying to get used to her new job, being in charge of so many things, as well as people. It was a bit exhausting and chaotic, and definitely a lot different than when he had just been an aid there. She almost felt guilt for the trouble she'd given Mrs. Ruth. She understood why she was always so cranky, now. 

She walked through the library on her way out, double checking everything. She spotted a book lying on one of the desks in the back. It was a pet peeve of hers when the kids just left their books lying around. At least they could put them back on one of the return carts or something. She sighed and made her way back to the table, thinking of Shiro and how crazy it was that she had seen him there today. 

She picked up the book, ready to go put it on the return cart, and paused. 

_1984._  

She smiled. "Oh, Takashi," she sighed. She couldn't put the book away. She sat it back down. She would let this one go. 

After all, someone might pick it up tomorrow, and find the love of their life watching them from the bookshelves. Romelle wasn't about to get in the way of true love. 

She turned the lights off and left, a small smile on her face. 

 

END 


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